Fatal Attraction

Mom, there is one thing I'd like to ask you.

-Sure. -How do they make that slime

-they're always dumping on you? -Oh, well.

First they take some water. Some liquid.

And then they add some JELL-O powder and some flour.

Sometimes some soap.

Then they dump it all over me.

You gotta get going, kiddo. We're going to be late.

Where do they dump it from?

Actually, Vanessa, I've always wondered that, too. I just don't know.

Very interesting. Is it always green?

Well, yeah, it usually is, but I guess it could be red.

Or it could be blue.

Or yellow.

-Daddy, telephone. -Thanks, darling.

Hello?

Hi. No, I'm fine. I just stubbed my toe.

Hang on one second, will you? Honey, it's Hildy.

I'll call her back.

She's in the bathroom.

She wants to know what you're wearing.

My black suit.

She's gonna wear her black dress.

Well, it's gonna be business. You know how those things are.

Ellen, I don't want you messing with my make-up now, honey, okay? I'm late.

-Is her red dress okay? -It's perfect.

Did you hear that? You got it. Okay, darling, see you later. Bye.

Oh, man.

I told you a million times not to play with my lipstick, right?

So when are you gonna listen to me, huh? Silly girl.

Honey, where's my blue suit?

It's on the back of the door.

Oh, shit!

Shit, shit, shit!

Shit, shit, shit.

Shit, shit, shit.

-Hi, Ellen. -Hi, Christine.

-How are you doing? -Good.

-Where's Mommy? -Mom? She's in the bathroom.

Ellen, I got you a present.

-You want to see what it is? -Yeah, yeah.

Do you like it?

Okay. Come on, let's go find Mommy.

So then she's taking me to have...

She's pregnant, she's going to give birth.

Hiya, Chuck. How are you? Good to see you. You gonna make it Friday?

-Friday, I'm there. -We need you, pal. We're in the cellar.

-You know that. Okay. -Okay.

Dan, is my hair okay?

-You look great. -I'm serious.

You're the prettiest woman in the room, sweetheart.

You liar.

Dan! Danny!

-Hiya, Bob. How are you? -Glad you could make it, Dan.

Listen, I'm sorry about the meeting tomorrow.

I know it's a Saturday, but we've got a real crisis here.

Oh, no, I understand. You know my wife Beth? Bob Drimmer.

-Pleased to meet you. -Nice to meet you.

-I hope you like sushi. -Thank you. I love it, Bob. Love it.

-What did he do to his neck? -He was screwing his wife.

-Are you serious? -Am I serious?

Absolutely, you should see his wife. They had to take her out on a stretcher.

-Hi, darling. -You guys are bad.

Who wants champagne? Champagne? Let's go.

-Champagne for everyone. -Hemlock! With a twist.

Four champagnes over here. Excuse me. Hi.

-Thank you. -Thank you.

-Thank you very much. -Excuse me.

Jesus! Thank you. Fuck.

-Thank you. -No, thank you.

So, what great cultural event are we here to celebrate tonight?

-Some exercise manual. -Not another one?

This one's different.

Based on ancient samurai discipline.

Danny, look at this guy nod. What is that, part of the ritual?

Hey...

Hi, there.

-Jesus, if looks could kill... -Glad to see you haven't lost your touch.

-I think she likes me. -You do, huh?

-I think she wants me. -I think you're batting zero for two,

and I don't want to know you.

-She was undressing me with her eyes. -You think so? Good luck, pal.

She had trouble with the buttons.

A signed copy.

-Here you are, ma'am. -Oh, thank you, dear.

-Can I get a champagne, please? -You got it.

I'm not saying anything. I'm not even gonna look.

Was it that bad?

Let's just say I was glad I wasn't on the receiving end of that one.

Cheers.

Just gotta hate it when guys think they can come on like that.

Jimmy's okay. He's just a little insecure, like the rest of us.

-My name is Dan Gallagher. -Alex Forrest.

Nice to meet you. What is your connection here?

I'm an editor at Robbins & Hart. And you?

I'm with Miller, Goodman and Hurst. I do all your legal work.

I haven't seen you around their office, though.

I've just been with them a couple of weeks.

I have to go.

-Is that your wife? -Yeah.

Better run along.

It was very nice to meet you.

"Make concessions with your body."

What does this mean, "make concessions"?

-Oh, give me a break. -Give you a break?

What does this mean?

How many did you buy?

-Well, thanks again, Christine. -Any time, Mrs. Gallagher.

Good night.

Aren't you forgetting something?

Quincy, let's hit it, pal.

You're such a good boy, yes.

You did such good business. You did good business.

You're the best boy.

Good night.

It's just for tonight, honey.

When you first see the house, don't show any interest at all,

-otherwise we can't negotiate. -Will you stop worrying about it?

-Ellen, are you chewing gum again? -What's to worry, though?

-We can't afford it anymore. -Daddy, is Granny going to be there?

-Just up the road from Mom and Dad. -Yes.

-Which is another reason not to buy it. -I didn't hear that.

What's to worry about? Can't afford the goddamn thing, anyway.

Oh, come on. Hold on to him, honey.

Let's just not worry about it, okay? I haven't even seen the damn place yet.

I may not even like it.

Ellen? The gum? Thank you.

Come on, Quincy. Come on, boy.

No, honey. Quincy's got to stay here with Daddy. Daddy's gonna be all alone.

Sorry, Quincy. Now, you're not gonna forget to walk him, are you?

-I promise. -You promise.

Okay. You have a good meeting.

-Okay. See you tomorrow night. -Love you.

Two times down, third time up, he looked like a jellyfish.

-Hi, Bob. -Hi, Dan. Sorry to ruin your weekend.

Please, give my apologies to your lovely wife.

-David, hi. -Help yourself.

-So, how are you feeling? -Don't ask.

Henry's out of town, so I asked Alex Forrest to stand in for him.

-Anybody know where she is? -She's on her way.

Well, since we've got a little time,

maybe you can tell us exactly what happened to your neck, Bob.

That's cute. Very cute.

Sorry I'm late. I was getting the file.

Dan, this is Alex Forrest, our new associate editor.

-We've met before. Hi. -Yeah, hello.

-Okay. Can we get started, Dan? -Okay, here's the story.

You want to publish a novel in which one of the characters

is a senator from New Jersey who's fooling around.

Now, there's a certain congressman from Ohio

who claims the character's based upon him,

and he's filed an injunction against the publication.

Look, the congressman's bald. This guy has hair.

They're from different states, for Christ's sake.

Look, if we don't sell those books, we're screwed.

Well, that's all fine, but if I'm gonna go to court to prove

the senator's not based upon this congressman,

then I have to know the truth.

Now... Well, strictly between these walls, all right?

Did the author have an affair with Mr. Ohio or not?

Yeah, she did.

But she also had a lot of affairs with other politicians.

Any one of them could make the same claim.

She swears this character's fictitious. I just got off the phone with her.

And you believe her?

Yeah, I believe her.

Okay, now that we've got that on the table,

what can we do to lift that injunction?

If we believe the girl, is there some way we can get to the congressman?

They take campaign contributions.

Can we buy him off? Can we frighten him off?

Is there something in his past that we can find out about?

I mean, we need to use some leverage. I got 25...

Give me a break, will you?

Come on.

Come on!

Come on.

-Was it made in Taiwan? -Yeah. These are tough to find.

Wait, wait. Here. We got one.

Come on!

What do you say, you want to go get a drink till it stops?

-Yeah, I'd love it. -Okay.

Come on.

The strangest case I ever handled?

Well, the truth was, I never actually handled a case.

The strangest case I ever came near to

was when my parents got divorced.

And my mother asked me to represent her.

-You're kidding? -That's what I said.

"What do you mean?" she told me. "You know what an asshole the guy is."

"You've been a witness to this marriage for the past 29 years."

Can you believe this? This is coming from my mother.

No. How did you get out of it?

Well, you can't exactly turn your mother down.

So, I escaped on a technicality.

-Which was what? -I didn't practice family law.

And it was true, you know. And she bought it.

-You're making this up. -Could I make something up like that?

Waiter?

I've got a lot of pull here, you know. My favorite restaurant.