Roller Squad

[Music coming from Arthur's headset]

Maybe.

Maybe.

Maybe.

Good morning.

Hey.

Hey darling, how did you sleep?

Yeah, good, thanks. The bed is really comfortable.

Good. You got the best room.

- Really? - No, not really.

- Do you want a coffee? - Yes, please.

Don't worry, I'll do it. You get to know the guys.

They're fun.

Looks interesting.

Because I'm happy.

Maybe.

I said maybe.

Happy, happy, happy.

Happy, happy, happy.

Motherfucker! Who did this?

Arthur.

Arthur!

What?

Oh let me guess.

- Yeah, exactly. - It's Hugh!

Hugh, what is this doing in the recycling bin?

Hugh.

What?

Banana peel?

No thanks.

Wait wait wait.

Check this out.

Hey, Sheila, show me who is at the door.

You have a guest.

Is that live?

Oh, yes.

Hey Sheila, open the door.

Hey, Mike, it should be open. Give it a push.

My name is not Mike.

My name is Sheila.

I said, hey, Sheila.

Why does it always have to be a female name?

Shush.

Don't tell me to shush.

Way to go Sheila.

- I'll get it. - No no no.

She needs to learn.

Sheila, open the door.

Don't do it, Sheila.

Hugh can do it himself.

Sheila. My name is Sheila.

Sheila, open the fucking door.

Did you say "fuck the door"?

No Sheila, hold the door.

Did you say "hold door"?

The weather tomorrow will be...

I'll get it.

- Hold door! - Hold door!

Liverpool one,

Manchester United, two.

- Hold door! - Hold door!

Please.

A fridge.

You just ordered a fridge. Hold door.

Mike I'm coming down just a sec. - My name is Holdor.

Sheila, Sheila.

Sheila, Sheila, hold door.

Bye Sheila, bye bye.

- Welcome to the mad house. - Thanks.

Oh, my God!

What's up?

Harry.

Yeah, I know Harry.

It says he was killed yesterday.

Killed?

Like in a car crash?

No, it says he's been murdered.

What?

Yeah.

God, that's terrible.

You're ready?

- Are you ready? - Yes.

Action.

No. Cut cut cut.

Sorry dude, I messed up again.

Back to your position. Back to your position.

It was my best work.

What?

This is so undignified.

- What went wrong this time? - You're out of focus.

Oh, and that's my fault is it? Not yours?

It's contrast based. It gets confused by the colours.

Anyway, back to your position.

But why?

Because we need to start again.

But why all the...

Why am I... like this?

I've told you before, I'm going to green screen you.

But what for?

It's a Hollywood technique, it will make you disappear.

Oh, you didn't say anything about making me disappear.

You will disappear, but the skates can still be seen.

So it's like...

Like I'm the invisible man, on skates.

Listen, listen. The hierarchy is...

I don't have to explain myself to you.

Director, actor, director, actor.

I'm director. You're actor.

Okay? it doesn't matter.

How exactly is that supposed to help me get work as an actor?

Who the hell is going to want to see me covered like this?

It's not how Hollywood works.

Oh really, tell me how Hollywood works, Hugh.

There's a difference between being famous and

being a celebrity.

- Really? - Look at the guy who plays

Chewbacca.

He's super famous but not a celebrity.

Mr Blobby!

- Mr Blobby? - Mr Blobby.

He's super famous, but not a celebrity.

Well, he is a celebrity because everyone knows who

- Mr Blobby is, Hugh. - Who is he?

I don't fucking know who he actually is.

I don't know the actor. I've never met him.

I just know him as Mr Blobby.

You know Mr Blobby though. That's proven my point.

Of course I know Mr Blobby, I don't know who the guy is

inside the suit, it might be more than one person.

Back to your position.

- To my position? - Yes, to your position.

- Back to your position. - Okay okay!

Okay. Camera rolling.

And action.

Action! Mike!

This is so unprofessional.

Well, I'm on Fulham Road right now, so I'll take the

short cut through the cemetery. I'll be

there in three minutes, okay?

Boo!

You're okay?

- Come on, it was just a prank. - A prank?

- Yes. - Your friend fucking scared me!

What are you talking about?

Please leave your message.

Hey, Soph, it's Leo.

I hope you're settling okay with your new flatmates.

It feels really empty here without you.

Give me a call when you've got some time.

I miss you.

Hey.

What?

Tell me.

He died on the way to the hospital.

I need to hang up now. I'll see you at home.

Yeah.

What's happening?

Can you play it again?

You're ready?

- Are you ready? - Yes!

Action.

Wait, no. Cut cut cut. Sorry dude, I messed up.

- Back to your position. - Alright.

What were you trying to achieve exactly?

It's just a...

Nothing.

Play the stabbing part again.

Action!

This is so unprofessional.

We don't even see the back of his head with the hood.

Was your friend involved in gangs or any sort of

criminal activity?

I told you before. No.

What about drugs? Using? Selling?

No.

Play the videos again.

- The last one? - All of them.

Action

Oh, okay. Cut cut cut. Back to your position.

- Next. - Hope you get polio.

Next.

- Mr Blobby? - Mr Blobby. He's super