Baywatch

HERE YOU GO, ALL BETTER.

NOW YOU BE CAREFUL ON THOSE ROCKS, OKAY?

WOO-HOO!

I NEED BACK-UP, ASAP.

THERE'S A GUY IN FRONT OF MY TOWER.

HE'S ON A MOTORCYCLE.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT HE'S HIGH ON,

BUT HE'S GOING TO HURT SOMEBODY.

HOO!

GET OFF THE BIKE NOW!

GET OFF?

SURE.

STOP IT! YOU'RE GOING TO HURT SOMEBODY.

GET OFF, NOW!

OKAY, HOMBRE, YOUR RIDING DAYS ARE OVER.

UH, JUST TAKE HIM AWAY AND WRITE HIM UP.

TURN HIM OVER TO GARNER.

WHAT ABOUT HIM?

I'LL TAKE CARE OF HIM.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO THANK ME.

I'M JUST GLAD YOU DIDN'T GET HURT.

THANK YOU?

I SHOULD HAVE YOU ARRESTED, TOO.

FOR WHAT?

YOU COULD HAVE HURT SOMEBODY.

JUST LIKE THAT PUNK,

RIDING IN HERE LIKE THE LONE RANGER.

YOU KNOW, YOU'RE EXQUISITELY BEAUTIFUL

WHEN YOU'RE ANGRY.

ANYONE EVER TELL YOU THAT?

ONCE.

A LONG TIME AGO.

WELL, MUST HAVE BEEN A SENSITIVE,

PERCEPTIVE KIND OF GUY.

WELL, I WOULDN'T EXACTLY CALL YOU "SENSITIVE."

JOHN D. CORT.

BUT PERCEPTIVE AS HELL.

HOW ARE YOU, C.J.?

OH, I'M TERRIFIC.

WHAT'S THE MATTER?

YOU DON'T LOOK TOO HAPPY TO SEE ME.

I'M NOT SURE.

BUT I'LL LET YOU KNOW.

SHE'LL BE OKAY.

SHE'LL BE ALL RIGHT.

THAT STUFF'LL ROT YOUR TEETH.

HOW MUCH DO I OWE YOU?

THAT IS RAD.

RAD, MAN?

-UHH... -WOW.

MANUEL, THE ARGENTINE GIANT?

"DANGER, STAND CLEAR," STAND CLEAR.

"PARENTS, WATCH YOUR CHILDREN."

THAT IS WILD.

I DON'T KNOW, PAL. HE COULD EAT YOU.

NAH.

-LET'S GO CHECK IT OUT, COME ON. -NO, NO, LET'S GO CH--

WHOA NO, NO, NO, NO.

COME ON.

LOOK, I DON'T WANT TO GO SEE THE GIANT,

...I WANTED TODAY AND I WANT TO GO SEE HIM, COME ON.

-LOOK OUT, LOOK OUT. -WHOA.

COME ON, HE'S GOT TO BE AROUND HERE SOMEWHERE.

I DON'T WANT TO SEE THE GIANT.

WHY NOT?

'CAUSE I WANT TO TALK TO THIS PIG.

NO! COME ON, WE'RE LOOKING FOR A GIANT.

A GIANT'S NOT A PIG.

THERE HE IS.

THE MOST DANGEROUS, MEANEST MAN IN CAPTIVITY.

THAT'S WHY WE KEEP HIM CAGED.

SO EVERYBODY COME IN.

IT'S LIKE THE WILDEST DREAM OF ALL,

OR MAYBE A NIGHTMARE--

AH, LET'S GET OUT OF HERE.

NO! COME ON. LET'S GO IN.

HOBIE, THERE ARE NO SUCH THINGS AS GIANTS.

YOU ALWAYS TELL ME TO BE OPEN-MINDED ABOUT THINGS.

IT'LL ONLY COST YOU A BUCK TO GO IN.

UHH, COST ME TWO BUCKS.

ALL RIGHT!

OKAY, THIS IS THE ONE YOU'VE BEEN WAITING FOR.

GET READY, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.

THE MOST DANGEROUS MAN IN CAPTIVITY.

SO BE CAREFUL,

BECAUSE HE CAN REACH OUT AND GRAB YOU.

YOU DON'T WANT TO GET GRABBED, DO YOU?

YOU DON'T WANT TO GET HURT, DO YOU?

SO GET READY, TAKE A DEEP BREATH,

AND ALL OF A SUDDEN WE'RE GOING TO SEE

MANUEL THE GIANT.

NEXT TIME, YOU CHASE AFTER THOSE KIDS.

YOU MORON.

BE RIGHT BACK.

STUPID.

EXCUSE ME, CAN I SEE YOUR PERMIT.

AND WHO ARE YOU?

MY NAME IS MITCH BUCHANAN,

LIEUTENANT LIFEGUARD, L.A. COUNTY.

LET ME SEE IT.

JUST SHOW ME YOUR PERMIT.

YEAH.

YEAH, I WAS HOPING--

ALL RIGHT.

THE SHOW, DID YOU LIKE IT?

NO, I DIDN'T.

HERE IT IS, I GOT IT, SEE?

HERE'S YOUR PERMIT.

COME ON, PAL, LET'S GO.

DAD.

NO, THERE'S NOTHING WE CAN DO.

HE'S GOT A PERMIT.

THE GUY'S LUCKY I DIDN'T PULL OUT MY BRANDING IRON.

IT'S GOOD TO HEAR YOU LAUGH AGAIN, C.J.

SO THE RUMOR'S TRUE.

OH, MITCH.

-HEY, BUDDY. -BUDDY!

HEY, OH.

-GOOD TO SEE YOU. -GOOD TO SEE YOU, MAN.

LOOK AT YOU, STAYING IN SHAPE.

TRYING TO.

SO WHAT'S THIS I HEAR, YOU ARRIVED ON HORSEBACK?

OH, HE'S GORGEOUS. HIS NAME IS APACHE BOIER.

YEAH, I WAS WORKING THIS CARNIVAL OUT IN NEW MEXICO,

THIS OLD COUPLE I KNOW...

THIS JERK WAS DRUGGING THE HORSE

TO KEEP IT CALM BETWEEN SHOWS SO,

TOOK THE GUY BEHIND THE STANDS ONE NIGHT,

GAVE HIM AN OFFER HE COULDN'T REFUSE

AND VOILA, APACHE WAS MINE.

BRINGING HIM THE COAST TO A FRIENDLY RANCH IN MALIBU.

THAT'S QUITE A RESCUE.

WELL, YOU KNOW ME, LIFEGUARDING'S IN MY BLOOD.

SO OBVIOUSLY YOU'RE BACK FOR YOUR MANDATORY TEN DAYS.

THAT'S TRUE.

AMONG OTHER THINGS.

WELL, YOU'RE IN LUCK.

LIFEGUARD RECHECK IS TOMORROW.

I'VE ALWAYS HAD GREAT TIMING, HAVEN'T I?

NO.

HEY, CORT, MAN, GOOD TO SEE YOU.

HEY, NEWMIE.

WARM GUY.

SO MITCH, IF THE RECHECK IS TOMORROW,

CAN'T AFFORD TO LET ALFALFA GROW UNDER MY FEET.

WHAT DO YOU SAY YOU TOSS ME A TOWER?

YOU GOT IT.

WHAT DO YOU SAY YOU JOIN ME FOR A WORKOUT?

HEY, HEY, HEY, WHOA, BUDDY.

YOU BETTER GET STARTED SOON, YOU ARE LOSING IT.

-YEAH. -YOU ALL RIGHT?

YEAH, I'M OKAY.

I'M OKAY.

YOU GOING TO GO SURFING TODAY, DUDE?

NO WAY, MAN. THE WAVES ARE WAY TOO SMALL.

THAT WOULD BE COOL, MAN.

NO WAY.

WHY NOT?

'CAUSE THE WAVES STINK.

THEY BE RAD, MAN.

WHOA. LOOK AT THESE FOOTPRINTS.

MAN, THEY'RE HUGE.

MAN!

OH, LET'S FOLLOW THEM.

-YEAH. -ALL RIGHT.

SEE WHERE THEY GO.

DUDE, A LIVE PELICAN!

GET OUT OF HERE!

GUYS, STOP! HEY! COME ON! I KNOW HIM!

WHAT?

I SAID HOLD HIM STILL.

CAN YOU CUT THE PLASTIC OFF HIS LEG?

SURE.