The Lady from Shanghai

When I start out to make a fool of myself...

...there's very little can stop me.

If I'd known where it would end, I'd have never let anything start...

...if I'd been in my right mind, that is.

But once I'd seen her...

...I was not in my right mind, for quite some time.

“Good evening,“ says I, thinking myself a very gay dog, indeed.

Here was a beautiful girl all by herself, and me...

...with plenty of time. Nothing to do but get myself into trouble.

Some people can smell danger. Not me.

I asked her if she'd have a cigarette.

It's my last, I've been looking forward to it. Don't disappoint me.

But I don't smoke.

That's how I found her. And from that moment on...

...I did not use my head very much, except to be thinking of her.

But in the park, in those days...

...the rough young fellas used to be staging hold-ups and the like.

Help! Help!

However, these young fellas were not professionals.

And that's maybe the reason why I start out in this story...

...a little bit like a hero, which I most certainly am not.

The cab driver was waking up. He was okay.

So I borrowed his carriage to drive the lady home.

In a short while, she recovered herself...

...and brightened up, what with the things I told her...

...to get her mind off the scare she'd had and to set her thinking...

...as well, of the brave fella that had rescued her.

Rosalie, fair Rosalie.

A name I'm after calling you. - Rosalie?

Why not? It's a gorgeous, romantical name entirely.

I'm Michael. - You're a character.

I'm just a poor sailor man...

...and him with the Princess of Central Park at his side.

Princess Rosalie. I wonder now:

Where does the princess come from?

I don't know why she should tell you, but...

Well, her parents were Russian, White Russian.

You never heard of the place where she comes from.

Would Her Highness care to gamble? - Gamble? She's done it for a living.

I'll bet you a dollar I've been to the place of your birth.

Zhifu. - It's on the China coast, Zhifu.

The second wickedest city in the world.

The first? - Macau. Wouldn't you say?

I would. I worked there.

You worked in Macau?

Here's your dollar. How do you rate Shanghai?

I worked there, too. - Yeah, as a gambler?

Well... - I hope you were luckier than tonight.

You need more than luck in Shanghai.

Do you know what? - What?

I bet I could drive the car from down there inside with you.

There's a police car on the other road. - Let's get out of the park.

The horse and cart will make it easy for the cops to find us.

You don't like them very much.

They can struggle without our doing their work for them.

Watch where you're going, Mac! Get that nag out of here!

Now the cops are bound to pick us up.

We'd best leave the cab here and walk.

You certainly don't like the police. - I do not.

My car's right there in the garage, anyway.

Tell me, Michael...

...is there a reason why the police don't like you?

Well, they've never put me in jail in America.

You know, the nicest jails are in Australia.

The worst are in Spain.

What law did you break in Spain? - I killed a man.

Just now, you almost killed a girl.

Is there a law against that? - Try it. You won't like the jails here.

They put you in jail for murder here? I didn't think so.

A man killed his wife in Frisco last week.

She'd gone to the icebox for a bit of supper.

He thought she was a burglar, he said. He shot her five times in the head.

Number 47! - He had a good lawyer.

I saw his picture in the paper. Bainbridge or something.

Bannister. - Arthur Bannister.

It said he was the greatest criminal lawyer, the greatest criminal.

Some people think he is. - Here's your car, ma'am.

Send the bill to my husband.

If you're a sailor, Michael, there's a job for you.

Would you like to work for me?

I-d like it.

I'm shipping out tomorrow.

So are we. To the West Coast, by way of the Canal.

We're short a man on the crew.

I'll make it worth your while.

Could it be this you're looking for?

You were smart to carry a gun, travelling alone in the park, but...

...if you knew you had the gun in your bag...

...why throw away the bag?

I meant for you to find it.

I don't know how to shoot.

It's easy. You just pull the trigger.

Some dame, ain't she?

Yeah, and some car.

Evening, Mr. Grisby.

Mr. Bannister sent it all the way from San Francisco...

...just so she could have it here.

Bannister? - Arthur Bannister himself.

Some guys have all the luck.

Personally, I don't like a girlfriend to have a husband.

If she'll fool her husband, I figure she'll fool me.

Now, New York is not as big a city as it pretends to be...

...so I spent the next day in the hiring hall, waiting for a ship.

That way, big boob that I am, I thought I could escape her.

Don't eat that cigarette. It'll stunt your growth. Come here.

Excuse me.

I wonder if you could help me locate a Mr. O'Hara.

Michael O'Hara -. Mike O'Hara?

You mean, Black Irish, the big harp that talks fancy?

I don't know him myself-- - Black Irish?

Yeah, I know him.

Joe. Call Mike O'Hara. A guy here wants to see him.

Michael O'Hara!

Please step to the bulletin board. A man wants to see you.

Shipmates? - We was in Spain together.

They called him Black Irish after what he did...

...to them finks back in '39.

Mike's got a lot of blarney in him...

...but he knows how to hurt a man when he gets mad.

You were asking for me?

O'Hara -? O'Hara.

You're what they call an able-bodied seaman?

Well, that's what they call it.

You ever work on a yacht? - No.

I presume you can handle a speedboat? - Well, I presume so.

Do you drink?

I beg your pardon? - I asked you if you drink?

Whatever's set in front of me. Doesn't have to be wholesome...

...just as long as it's strong.

Do you drink habitually?

May I ask, mister, if you're extending an invitation?

Well, I guess it might as well be.

Now, Mr. O'Hara, if you'll show me to the nearest bar...

...we'll sit down together and discuss your coming to work for me.

My name is Bannister.

Bannister.

Boys, may I present Mr. Arthur Bannister, the world's greatest criminal lawyer.

He'll get you out of anything. Jake Björnson and Goldie, right?

Goldfish is the name. Glad to know you.

Mr. Bannister's wife sent him to get me. Isn't that right, Mr. Bannister?

Now Mr. Bannister's going to buy us all a few drinks...

...while I entertain myself by refusing to go to work for him.

You know, Mike saved my wife's life.

Here. Would you mind inserting these coins?

Number four.

That's all we like to hear.

Mike's quite a hero, quite a tough guy.

Mister, there ain't no such thing.

No such thing as a tough guy?

What's a tough guy?

I don't know.

A guy with an edge.

What makes him sing better than me? Something in here.

What makes it loud? A microphone. That's his edge.

Edge?

A gun or a knife, a nightstick or a razor, something the other guy ain't got.

A little extra reach on a punch, a set of brass knuckles...

...a stripe on the sleeve, a badge that says cop on it, a rock...

...in your hand, or a bankroll in your pocket.

That's an edge, brother.

Without an edge, he ain't no tough guy.

You hear that, Black Irish? - It's true.

Well, bear it in mind.

But what makes him sing prettier than you?

Naturally, someone had to take Mr. Bannister home.

I told myself I couldn't leave a helpless man lying unconscious in a saloon.

Well, it was me that was unconscious...

...and he was exactly as helpless as a sleeping rattlesnake.

Say, it's nice of you, Michael, to be so nice to me while I'm so drunk.

Lover!

I wasn't sure you'd come.

I'm not staying.

You've got to stay.

Lover!

Gonna be a real nice cruise.

First, the Panama Canal, then up the Mexican coast.

We need a bosun, Danny-boy.

Ever done any sailing? - A bit of it.

I saw you last night at the garage, it was.

Somebody else, Danny-boy, not me.

Don't go. She needs you bad. You stay.

Mike, if you play your cards right, we can get a job for us both.

I think we'll take it.

And what was I, Mike O'Hara, doing on a luxury yacht...

...pleasure cruising in the sunny Caribbean Sea?

But it's clear now, I was chasing a married woman.

But that's not the way I wanted to look at it. No.

To be a real prize fathead like Mike O'Hara...

...you've got to swallow whole all the lies you can think up to tell yourself.

Our little expedition spent some weeks in the West Indies...

...dawdling around, seeing the sights, laying in supplies...

...and getting into more trouble.

Hi, on board the Cercie!

You there...

...why don't you go swimming?

I beg your pardon?

I said, why don't you go swimming?

I didn't bring a swimming suit along on the job, sir.

You ought to the next time.

There won't be a next time, sir. I'm quitting.