Workin' Moms

Previously on "Workin' Moms".

I don't know why they gave Mo the Montreal gig?

- What? - You like that?

I'm freaking out here, Okay?

I'm going to councilors, I'm going to sex stores,

and meanwhile, you're just putting your head

in the everything's okay sand.

Just talk about how blessed you feel being married

- to a stay at home dad. - Right.

And Nathan, does he know what's happening?

Secrets in a marriage are like fleas in a bed.

They'll both have you sleeping on the couch.

Mmm.

This... this right here, definitely Formula.

Thick, funky, slightly fermented.

Yup. Been using it for years.

It's the sweet smell of science.

Sort of smells strikingly like a homeless woman

from my park. Kind eyes, but

oh, a scent that could bring you to your knees.

Well ladies, number four is actually breast milk.

Alicia's breast milk.

What happened to this being anonymous?!

You should really think about changing your diet.

- Your milk stanks. - Word.

Okay. I think we can all agree,

that some of the feeding stereotypes out there

- are problematic. - Yeah. yeah.

For example, number two, a crowd favorite...

I'd seriously put it in my cereal.

Yep, that one's actually mine.

Haven't breast fed in years,

but I slapped on the old breast pump look what came out!

Geez, who knew.

People seriously pay you to consult them about lactation?

Sorry I'm late.

Please try not to be late.

So guys, I had a few too many drinks last night

and was gonna pump and dump,

but then Zoe was being real fussy,

so I gave her some of my tainted milk,

she was out the whole night!

Yeah, we put skull and crossbones

on all of my tainted pump'n dump milk,

store it for when Charlie's being a real "A-hole".

- Plus, helps the sleep training. - Genius.

Oh, you guys sleep train?

You got a problem with that?

Okay, okay, this was not on the list of topics for today,

but let's explore. Right?

Look, sleep training works for us.

We let Charlie cry it out and our bed stays our bed.

Preach.

But they're so sweet cuddled up in bed with you.

And the best part is, it gets me out of having to deal

with my husband's erection pressed into my back

- every night. - I can relate.

- My husband sleeps with a gun. - Jesus Christ.

Good morning, sweet cheeks.

I'm sorry, okay? I had to stay 'til we were done.

Which meant I had to host both of our parents

for dinner by myself.

Well, how can I make it up to you?

Well, a new nanny would help.

Your mom's driving me insane.

She asked in front of my folks

if Charlie had started reaching for my teat yet?

My teat, Kate.

Okay. I'm all over it.

Tsk, tsk, tsk.

Looks like your mother was right to be concerned.

Her only son has become a house husband.

All over it.

Sorry.

This is the only thing helping combat the virus in my body.

Ah, she's pregnant.

I vomited a glass of water

directly back into the cup this morning.

I apologize, why don't we begin? Hm?

Giselle, I'm very glad that you decided

to come in this morning. How are you feeling?

- I'm fine. - Frankie,

would you like to tell Giselle what you shared with me?

I've tried, man.

Giselle, I'm feeling really disconnected from you.

We never have sex anymore.

It's like there's this vast,

growing nothingness between us.

Mhmm. I know. I know.

Giselle, perhaps you can put Rhoda down for a little while.

Fine.

- How do you feel now? - Naked. Worried.

I think the problem here is pretty loud

and there's nothing wrong with that.

You get to go out and have this separate life.

I'm "Mom" all the time, even when you get home.

And Rhoda's always there, always on my mind.

And does that not shut off at all,

when she goes down for the night?

No, not really. She sleeps in our room.

Oh, okay.

And why not go in another room to connect with Frankie?

I... I don't want to be away from her.

Okay, hear me out:

if you are feeling unable to connect away from Rhoda,

how about "connecting"

in front of her?

- Wow?! - What? Sex?

Okay, that's not where I thought you were going.

It's important to create a safe environment

that you feel that you connect with Frankie

with Rhoda present. There is absolutely nothing wrong

with having sex in front of a sleeping infant.

I do it all the time.

All... the... time.

We can do this, Gee. Okay?

Let's just, you know, let her fall asleep

and then we'll make some beautiful lady love.

- Hmm. - Lady love. Sure.

Yes, all hair and nails.

Yup, I can picture it.

That is too much. I apologize.

Rosie, can you get in here, please?

- Hi-hi-hi. Um... - Yeah, what's up?

I need you to look up a bunch of nanny services

and get me a ton of interviews for this afternoon.

You have no free time today.

Okay, the board's here for their annual report

and then specified bikes is coming in at three...

Right, right, right, right, right.

Okay, uh...

Could you maybe run some interviews?

Maybe I could give you a list.

You could put your hair in a pony tail.

You could just sort of act a little more...

I would love to help you, I would. It's just...

- I have that colposcopy today. - Col-what?

Colposcopy.

You know, because I had that abnormal pap...

Oh. Yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah. No-no, I get it.

Uh, you go get yourself colposcopied...

- Yeah. Okay. - And I will figure this out.

- Good luck. Sorry. - Thank you. You, good luck.

- Good luck with you. - Thanks.

This could be it.

Should we face her away from us?

Maybe we could put a blanket over her?

She's not a parakeet.

Do you think that she can breathe in there?

Okay, come on, Gee, just... just try and relax.

Okay? Yeah, come here.

Just focus.

Maybe she can't see us, but she can definitely hear us.

You're not even trying.

- She's so musical. - Mm, she gets that from you.

We both know that my genetics are not in that baby.

You're right. I guess they're Mortimers.

Hmm?

Mortimer is the name I gave the imaginary donor dad.

He's a 45 year old scientist with arthritis.

If he's imaginary, why give him arthritis?

Because it makes him more relatable. More human.

- Okay. - Anyway, it doesn't matter,

she gets all her good stuff from you.

- Frankie... - Well, it's true.

I see it all the time.

She is so lucky to have you

and so am I.

Hey, I'm headed in, you coming?

Uh, yeah, give me a sec, I'll walk with you.

You know what, I will meet you in there actually.

Coo'.

- Hi Mom, what's up? - Kate, I'm bored.

You're bored? I am the opposite of bored.

Busy, busy, busy. Always so busy.

Yes, I'm so busy.

I'm so busy I don't even have time to find a...

Mom, do you wanna do something for me?

It might be a little bit awkward though.

- Please, Kate, I bathed you. - Mm-hmm.

I need you to find me a new nanny.

I see, so you want me to find my own replacement.

Well, yeah.

So you need me? Is that what you're saying?

Yes, I, I need you.

It's just so nice to hear you say that.

Okay, Charlie needs the best nanny

and like they say, it takes one to find one.

Yeah, I've never heard that saying,

but it sounds true, so lets go with that.

- Anyway, I gotta... - I'm very busy now.

Can't talk. Buh-bye.

Unbelievable.

Hey.

Uh, Gena, uh,

could you get me those network upgrade reports

by the end of the day, t-thank you?

Sure. What format do you want that in?

Um...

Uh, yeah, exactly. Thanks. Bye.