Last Man Standing

Hey.

Four more days till Turkey Day. Who's excited?

Obviously not the turkeys.

Well, if they want to die, they shouldn't taste so good.

This is for Thursday.

Kyle, that is so sweet of you.

Yeah, whatever it is, it's from me, too.

Just, it's my first Thanksgiving as a part of the family,

and I want to contribute like everyone else does.

Even Boyd does those amazing hand turkeys.

I mean, what genius thought of that?

Oh.

Yeah, no. That's not from me.

So... So Kyle gets all the... credit?

His name is Mr. Gobbles.

He was always the centerpiece at my family's Thanksgivings.

And no one else in your family wanted it?

Even when everybody was fighting, you know,

Mr. Gobbles was always there to make me smile and feel good.

Aww! You never told me that story.

That's really sweet.

I can tell because it wasn't about me but I still got heart tingles.

- Bye, Mom. - See you later.

Oh, you are ug-ly!

What a day at work.

Hey, love. How are you?

Hey. Hi. Good.

Hi.

Oh, Boyd make that?

Boy, tell you what...

Art is just not that kid's thing, right?

No, it's Kyle's.

Mr. Gobbles, meet Mr. Baxter.

Mr. Baxter, meet Mr. Gobbles.

Has Mr. Gobbles met Mr. Garbage?

Have you... Have you talked to Chuck since he got back?

I didn't know that he was back.

Yeah. Carol said last night.

You might want to go over and see how he's doing.

Why?

Because he just buried his father.

He might want to talk about it.

Why the hell would anybody want to talk about something like that?

Well, Chuck might.

I mean, you're... you're his friend.

Eh...

Listen, I talked to him before he left.

Said when he gets back he could take some time off.

I gave him the best possible gift... space.

You give that gift a lot.

Why do men keep everything bottled up?

Well, because the best things come in bottles?

Yeah?

Beer, those little ships...

light beer.

Why don't you take him this pie, huh, and just say hello.

You know, when my dad dies,

I hope people are sensitive enough just to leave me alone.

Hey, uh, Chuck.

Hey. Hey, Baxter.

Carol said you were out in the garage.

I was.

Now I'm standing outside it.

Uh...

H-How was the...

Minnesota?

Cold.

Yeah, that's Minnesota.

I-I brought you a pie.

Ah. Yeah, what kind is it?

Um...

Apple.

So, um, listen, if, um, Vanessa asks, we talked, okay?

Same with Carol.

Yeah.

How... How... You know, how, uh...

Look... Look, man, I'm fine.

I'm fine. My dad and I weren't close.

He's been sick for a while. He's in a better place now.

An expensive urn.

Well, if you need any more time off, it's okay with me.

I'll take a few days. Next June, at your cabin.

What are you doing out here in the garage?

Oh, I'm just, uh, cleaning up an old car my dad left me,

trying to figure out what to do with it.

Car? What kind? What year?

Get out of the way. Hold a second.

Looky there.

'63 Corvair Monza convertible Spyder!

Ah.

You may not know the names of your employees, but you do know your cars.

Well, I like cars.

Can I open it up?

Go ahead, yeah.

I had one of these, man.

I had the hardtop version of this, and Ralph Nader was wrong.

They don't flip. You can't get 'em to flip.

Although, it would be a lot of fun.

Wow!

I drove it back from Minnesota.

You drove a 50-year-old classic car 1,000 miles in the winter.

What were you thinking?

Well, mostly I was thinking, "This car was not made for a man my size."

You're more of the Bonneville kind of guy.

Boy, this thing would fit me like a glove.

Uh-huh. So you give me a pie.

Now you want me to give you a car?

Nah, I was talking about selling it, but I like your idea better.

I don't know, Baxter.

I'm not sure what I'm gonna do with it.

Well, this brings back some good memories.

If you want to sell it, I'd consider buying it.

I do enjoy taking your money, Baxter, which is really the only reason

why I invite you to my poker night,

but, uh, I think I'm gonna keep the car for now.

Uh-huh.

Hey, listen. I'll be back to get ya.

And I would never drive you in the winter. No, I wouldn't.

Stop talking to the car, Baxter!

Is it a turbo?

Yeah, yeah. 160 horse, four-speed.

Got the original top on it.

One owner, and that was his dad.

And Chuck drove it in the snow?

You got to fire him.

We're firing someone?

Let me do it. It's been a while.

Who is it?

Chuck.

Chuck?

What are you, heartless?

The man just lost his father.

We wait two weeks.

We're not firing anybody.

His dad left him a car, which I'd like to buy, but he doesn't want to sell it.

Everything in the world is for sale at the right price,

which is why I own Richard Nixon's pitching wedge.

You know, he probably thinks you're trying to lowball him.

You know, there's a rumor you're cheap.

I know that 'cause I started it.

There's a rumor you're getting fired.

I know because I'm the boss.

I offered him 10 grand. I think that's very fair.

10 grand? That's too much.

You're not cheap... You're an idiot.

Chuck's a proud man.

Probably thinks you made an overly generous offer

because you feel sorry for him.

Could be. I had just given him a pie.

Would you help me out here?

Come on. Do you even have to ask?

No!

Look, you buy and sell cars all the time.

You stop by, look at his Corvair, tell him what you think it's worth,

I'll offer him a fair price.

You're itching to buy something?

I've got an historic pitching wedge for sale.

Really, Mike? Like you need another car.

I don't need it... I want it.

I want it, so I need it. Capiche?

It's like you with shoes, Mom.

No, you mean like you with shoes.

Okay, whatever, the point is it's like shoes.

Just like Mandy said, and I want this shoe.

I can't look at this thing another minute.

Yeah.

You know what, tonight Mr. Gobbles sleeps in the garage with the car running.

What have you done to Mr. Gobbles?!

It was an accident!

Tell her! Tell her, Mike!

I don't know.

You hated Mr. Gobbles, Mr. Gobbles is dead.

I'm just sayin'.

Honey, it slipped out of my hands!

Oh, don't you mean your claws, you monster?

All right, look, look, look. Don't... Don't tell Kyle.

I can fix this. I just need some time.

Yeah. And I just need a new pair of shoes.

I'm just sayin'.

Hey, Joe. Come on in.

Hope you're here about the Corvair and not selling denim shirts door to door.

You could never pull off this look.

I couldn't because I'm not Cool Hand Luke.

Well, did you talk to Chuck?

Yeah, I convinced him to sell the car.

I knew he wanted to sell that thing.

Well, what about the price?

$8,500.

Saved me 1,500 bucks.

I say we go to the garage, get ourselves a beer.

Come on.

Actually, uh, I saved me $1,500.

I'm buying the Corvair.

Wow.

Y-You betrayed me.

You're like, uh, Benedict Arnold.

No, you're worse than Benedict Arnold.

You're like Tom Arnold.

I told you to go over there to get a good price,

not to stab me in the back, you sneaky bastard.