3000 Miles to Graceland

Nice car.

Sweet!

Done.

Nice.

Hey.

Ow! You little maggot!

Hey! Hey, you get back here!

What do you think you're doing?

- Hey, is this your kid? - Yeah.

Take a look at his hands.

- You're gonna find the valve caps to my '59 Caddy. - Is that true, Jesse?

How many times have I told you to stop stealing parts of people's cars?

Look at me!

Go on inside. Go!

I'm really sorry about this.

You know how kids can be.

That's all right. No harm done.

- So where are you from? I've never seen you before. - Just sort of passing through.

I remember saying that very same thing.

That was about four years ago. Heh, heh. You from L.A.?

No, ma'am. Jersey City mostly.

What's with this ma'am stuff?

Am I looking that old already?

- No, ma'am. - Ha!

- There you go again. - I'm just playing around.

Mm-hm.

I'm Cybil Waingrow.

Well, very nice name.

Well, that's Cybil with a C, not Sybil with an S.

Really?

Well, it's a pleasure to meet you, Cybil, with or without a C.

It's nice to meet you. You drink coffee?

- That's a start. - You got any money?

Heh.

Wow. Jersey's like 3000 miles from here.

Mom, can I have a Coke or something?

- Jesse, can't you see I'm talking here? - But, Mom, why can't--?

Sweetie, I didn't bring my purse with me.

Hey, hang on a second.

Here.

Go get yourself whatever you want.

Wow, 5 bucks. Thanks, mister.

- Hey, Dorth. Yeah, Jesse?

- You like kids? - Uh...

Not much the fathering type,

-tell you the truth. - No?

Austin, my ex,

named him after Jesse James, the bank robber.

A hell of a role model. That's what I said.

I have 5 bucks.

- Mm-mm. - So where's Daddy now?

I don't know. It's hard to keep track after a while, you know? When you write them and they don't write you back. Heh.

- Who cares, anyhow? - Heh, heh.

Not me.

Wow, you must think I'm some cheap date, huh?

Yeah. No, sir. No, sir. I don't know how you city folks work,

but around here, it takes a hell of a lot more than a cup of coffee

and a plate of chow

to get a sophisticated woman like me into the sack.

That's for damn sure.

Mm. You sure do make that cigarette look good.

- And you make that dress look good. - You're so sweet.

Oh, God.

Oh, Jesus.

Oh, Jesus Christ!

Okay. Okay, wait.

- Wait. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Oh, good. - Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah!

Oh, hey.

Do I owe you anything?

You know, like...?

I didn't mean to offend, I just...

Look, I haven't been with a woman in a really long time, okay?

- Right. - No, I'm serious.

Like five-and-a-half-years serious, you know what I mean?

Oh, my God.

You just got out!

Well, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. Well, I guess we're even.

Hey, wait a minute.

Michael, you don't offer a woman money if it's been nice.

You give her flowers or chocolate or something.

You know what I mean?

Hey, Murph!

This must be our singer.

Yeah. Because we know you can't sing.

Yeah, but play a mean guitar.

Mike.

Hey, man. You're looking...

- Yeah. - You look good.

- You feel good? - Yeah.

- Enjoying your freedom? - Ain't free yet.

Come on, Mike. It's a whole lot better than that cage we shared.

Big sky.

Lots of space.

Not enough water.

Not enough water. It's always gonna be something with you, Mike.

Well, you know me.

Who's the kid?

I don't know.

Looks like he knows you.

Murph, just because that kid's packing heat,

doesn't make him my partner.

That's right.

I'm your partner.

- You ready to play? - Always ready to play, Murph.

Hey.

- Hey! What's up, Michael? - These your new girlfriends?

What's happening, man?

Franklin. Get in the back.

- Move over, Gus. - I got window, man.

- Move over, Gus. - Great, so I get bitch.

That's nice.

Whoa. What's up?

- Hey, kid. - Yeah?

You ever shoot anybody with them things?

Didn't think so.

Hey, Murphy.

What's the smartest thing ever come out a bitch's mouth?

What? - Einstein's cock!

That's a good one.

What are you so quiet about?

I told you, I hate the desert.

Yeah, I know, for the second time now.

All right, check it out.

Deathmatch 3000.

In the red corner, Frank Sinatra!

And in the blue corner, Elvis Presley!

All right, I'm not talking about no cartoon shit. The real deal!

Real cats scrapping it out.

Now, who's going down?

Well, the Chairman of the Board and the King are looking mighty mean tonight!

Mighty mean!

I'll tell you, the King lands one right in the Chairman's nuts!

Damn!

Hot tamale. - There it is, baby.

Oh, but the King slips!

He goes down and OI' Blue Eyes goes in for the Italian Necktie!

Wah! The King is down!

The King is down. No! No!

Whoa, whoa. Ow!

What the hell's going on, man? Let me know when you're gonna do that.

Who said "the King's down"?

Oh, come on, man.

- Let it go. - Did I say something to you?

Shit.

- Then shut the fuck up. Yeah.

- So who said "the King is down"? - Come on, man. We were just having a little fun here.

I know. So who said it?

I said it, Murphy.

Don't say it any-fucking-more.

It was just a joke.

Well, it wasn't fucking funny.

Okay.

Sinatra. Fuck Sinatra.

Nobody fucks with the King and nobody ever says he's down.

Hey, Murphy, we all love the King.

That's right.

- Elvis'd beat Sinatra's ass. - That's fucking right.

Hey, what's the best thing about dating homeless girls?

What? - You can drop them off anywhere. Ha, ha!

Come on, man, let me out. Damn, my ass is all sweaty.

Murph.

Good to see you, Jack.

It's really good to see you.

- Michael. - Hey, Jack, how you doing?

- How's it feel to be out? - You know how it feels.

Yes, I do.

- You got them? - Inside.

- Hey, Franklin. Yeah?

Stop. You're killing me, man. You're killing me.

Pretty loose group you got there.

Check me out, Franklin. I'm gonna dance.

Dance.

- Rock star! - Bang, bang, bang.

Don't shoot me!

Dance, fucker! Don't shoot me!

They dialed in? - They're good on-stage.

Gonna be some show.

The snakeskin's mine.

I got that one.

That's mine.

- Hey, Michael. - Hey.

Hey, it's good to see you.

- You wanna come in? - No, I can't.

Really, I just wanted to ask you...

Well, you know, maybe for a second or two.

You haven't seen my wallet, by any chance, have you?

- Your wallet? - Yeah, I had it yesterday

when I paid the check at the coffee shop.

I was just backtracking my steps.

No, I haven't seen it.

Jesse. Jesse, get back here.

Jesse, did you take this man's wallet?

Don't shut that door on me. Don't lock it.

He does this all the time. Sorry.

Would you hand me that stepladder over there, please?

Thank you.

Yeah, he's like a ferret.

Takes anything he can get his hands on. And he hides it all...