Sallywood

The nominees for Best Performance by an Actress

in a Motion Picture -- Drama are...

Glenn Close, "Fatal Attraction."

Faye Dunaway, "Barfly."

Sally Kirkland, "Anna."

Rachel Levin, "Gaby: A True Story."

Barbra Streisand, "Nuts."

And the winner is...

...Sally Kirkland.

I can’t believe this.

I’ve been acting 25 years,

and everyone’s been saying hang in, and now I know why.

Oh, I am so honored.

This is to the Hollywood Foreign Press.

I know it's supposed to be short.

All eight-- eight-- 88 of you.

I want to take each one of you home tonight.

You have made my day, my week, my month,

my year, my lifetime.

In every humdrum life, there is a muse,

someone who ignites inspiration.

Matisse had the Cone sisters.

Andrew Wyeth had Helga.

And me, I had Sally Kirkland.

It all started when our video store in Maine closed down

after a moose jumped through the window, killing the owner,

so all the VHSes were sold at a bargain price.

Dad bought a dozen of them, but his selections

were the ones that no one else wanted.

Of these, "Anna," starring Sally Kirkland,

was my favorite.

"Anna" is a 1987 movie about a depressed,

middle-aged Czech actress

who struggles to resurrect her fading career.

-Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall! Shout it at us!

Humpty Dumpty had a great fall!

All the king’s horses...

Obviously, I’m gonna have to find a new hiding spot

for these R-rated movies.

I’m gonna kill your father

for bringing these into the house.

How do you meet the people on TV?

You don’t. They all live in California.

And nobody from Maine ever goes there.

You have everything you need right here.

Even at nine years old, I knew a great performance

when I saw it.

I couldn’t get enough of it.

I had no idea my life would change

over some wayward moose.

I’m doing whites today.

You never need to worry about laundry

when you’re with your mother.

-Mom... Mm-hmm?

You’d support me if I went for what I really want, right?

Oh...

Sweetie, working in the lumberyard

with your father

is money in the bank.

When I was your age, I was married

and I had a child.

Mom, what I want to do is write for movies and TV shows.

Okay, I’ve already started looking for movie jobs online.

Nothing good ever came from going online.

Mom, I need to move to Hollywood.

I don’t want to talk about it any longer.

-I’m gonna go do the laundry. -I’m moving to Hollywood.

Okay!

Greetings, everybody.

Zack, honey, who are you talking to?

Say hello. You are on camera.

No, no. Don’t film me. I don’t want to be on camera.

Here, you can practice on me, son.

When I was your age,

I wanted to be a sports newscaster,

like on TV.

Oh, I talked about it, but...

just seemed like an impossible dream.

Because it was an impossible dream.

No. It wasn’t.

I could have done it, but I didn’t have the support.

Now, you go out there and you don’t come back

until you make it. I know you can.

You’re right. I’m gonna go out to Hollywood,

and I’m not coming back until I make it.

-Yes, you are! -Oh, for God's sake!

Doesn’t anyone care what I have to say?

Turn that camera on me now!

I have something I want to say.

Zack, honey,

I went through the pains of hell giving birth to you.

You were in my uterus for ten months, so I...

I want you to have this.

-It’ll protect you. -Oh, I...

Oh, hell. Take both of them.

Thank you. -Two's better than one, right?

Thank you, Mom.

You’re welcome.

Oh!

Honey, I’m so worried about you.

Los Angeles is a terrible place.

I watch the news -- there's drugs

and fires and earthquakes

and Kardashians.

-And porn. -Oh, honey. Yes, porn.

Promise me you won’t fall into a bad crowd.

-Promise me! -I-I-I promise.

Oh, it's a horrible place.

But...

m-maybe you’ll meet Reba McEntire.

She seems like a nice person.

Or, I could meet Sally Kirkland.

Sally Kirkland.

Right. Like that’s gonna happen.

-It could. -No, I don’t think so.

Look, good luck, son, and keep your eye on the road.

This town has been attracting dreamers from the get-go.

People think a generation is 20 years.

No, a generation for -- for movies is four years,

five years maybe.

You have to be possessed of both

the tenderness of the artist

and the skin of the rhinoceros to be able to deal with,

you know, what this business is about.

You have to reinvent yourself

literally every four to six years.

You have to do something monumentally different.

So, trying to become successful

in this career is very up and down.

It’s gambling. It’s all a gamble.

When you make it, you go very, very high.

But then for -- for X reason, you can go down.

It’s like a roller coaster.

I happen to like roller coasters.

Oh, and here’s a blast from the past --

Sally Kirkland.

What brings you to the awards tonight?

I never miss a red carpet.

As a former Oscar nominee, I still get

invited to all these events.

Which year were you nominated?

I’m not sure I remember back that far.

Oh, and here’s someone we all know --

Dinah Bouchet.

Dinah, looking the most fabulous.

My life is amazing.

It’s been such a journey for me.

I finally just hit 20 million followers on Instagram,

and my album drops next month.

I’m so excited.

What’s the best thing about being famous?

I mean, I was famous.

I don’t know if I’m famous now,

but yeah, I’ve been famous in my life.

Men! You get any man you want.

I mean, they come from all over.

We're expecting partly cloudy skies

with a high of 70 degrees...

I must have been born under a lucky star.

My roommate, who you’re about to meet,

is a creative genius and filmmaker.

He said so on his Craigslist ad.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

Who might you be, then?

Uh, I’m Zack. I called. Are you Tom?

I’m your new roommate. And are you British?

My mom is gonna love that.

Oh, yeah. Mums love me.

You don’t smell too bad. Quite nice, actually.

Okay, you can stay. House rules on the fridge.

Number one rule -- Do not drink my beer.

Oh, I don’t drink.

Give it time, mate.

Mm, yes.

Oh, that’s so good.

Oh, you look so hot. Ooh, right there.

That’s good. That’s so good. Okay, wait. Wait right there.

-So hot. -Are you sure this is my room?

Girls, I said get out of here! This boy is moving in.

You’re cute. Wanna do a foursome?

I’ve never even done a twosome before.

- -Is he for real?

I said out now, you dozy bint.

I swear, guys in jail have better manners

than girls in L.A.

Uh, you’ve been to jail?

In and out.

First in, then out.

-Can I ask what for? -Which time?

Tom broke into bank machines.

Oh, it’s so easy, a baby could do it.

-I can show you how -I’m good.

You look very clean. I like that.

I’m from Maine.

Main Street? In Santa Monica?