The Iguana with the Tongue of Fire

You!

What are you doing? No... no!

Oh, what awful weather!

It may be romantic, mais très emmerdant, huh?

Mais oui.

Ireland is very beautiful but it's raining all the time.

What a bore!

But it's the rain that makes it so green and beautiful.

Yes, yes, I suppose you're right.

Where were you going?

Well, I thought that you were late so I was going to do a little job.

Hm. Thank you for visiting, dear.

I didn't think you could get up so early in the morning.

I could hardly believe it myself.

If I didn't know that my husband was not in Dublin

I would have thought that he was the author of such a miracle.

Now you're getting evil.

Perhaps, but I'm not playing the role of the jealous wife.

- I know. - Come on.

Here, put these parcels in the boot of the car.

Er, perhaps it'd be better to put them next to me, on the seat.

Yes, perhaps it's better.

But if you have something else to do, I'll drive the car myself. Come on.

No, no, madam.

I beg your pardon, but my business is not important.

It can wait.

- Where can I drop you? - I have my own car, thanks.

Oh... Bien alors.

Mandel, stop first at Trinity College, then.

Yes, madam.

Bernard!

Bernard, venez en voiture, chéri.

But... Bernard, what are you doing? Come on, shoo!

Oh, my God!

What happened? Let's call the police.

Yes, let's call the police.

Oh...

Hello? Hello, Jerry, it's you?

Oh, Jerry! Something horrible has happened.

Yes. Yes, here in the embassy.

No, His Excellency is away as always. He's in Switzerland.

- What are you doing? - Jerry? It's me.

No, I came back last night. Listen, you'd better come over right away.

As counsel of the embassy you will have to look after this affair.

Yes.

I don't think there's any need for Bernard to overhear this conversation.

- Ah, but it was he who discovered her. - Well, exactly.

We must make him forget what he has seen.

- Darling. Darling, go. - Bernard.

- Go upstairs. - Go to your room.

I, uh... I came back earlier than I expected.

It never stopped raining in Davos.

Did you call on Marc?

No. No, I didn't stop over in Zürich.

Were you alone?

As always, my darling.

Now, when Jerry comes,

will you please tell him to get in touch with the police immediately?

- Who are you? - My name is Johnson. I'm the doctor.

Oh, I've called for him.

Well, have you written your report?

Yes, it's right here.

And... do you think it is possible to recognize this person?

I would say it's impossible.

The murderer has done a perfect job.

A specialist, I would say.

Like me.

Inspector Lawrence.

Excuse me, sir.

- This letter is for you, sir. - Thank you.

This must be the woman who was in the boot of the Rolls-Royce.

Really? What, and nothing else? Not even a letter?

What did you expect? The murderer's name and address?

And an invitation to drop by for tea between five and six?

- No, but... you never know. - Get a move on.

According to this passport, she was born in Holland.

- So? - Well, it may be a coincidence,

but Mr Sobiesky, before he came to Dublin,

was ambassador to The Hague.

We'd better call him in for questioning.

For God's sake, man, wake up!

Do you think we're enough to call an ambassador in for questioning?

It will be a lot if we get permission to question the members of his staff.

I'd like to see him try and stop us.

He can do it quite easily.

I'll have to get onto the Foreign Ministry if I'm to get to the bottom of this enquiry.

- Will they give us permission? - Let's hope so but it won't be much use.

At the most, all we can do it is to get him declared persona non grata.

While we wait for the bloody bureaucrats to make up their minds

our boy will have time to slit three or four other throats.

Is there nothing else we can do?

Don't worry, Johnson.

I'll go on making my enquiries all the same.

And I couldn't care less if I am accused of being unorthodox.

- Get me? - But how?

You'll find out.

Give her a good rub down.

Your Excellency, Inspector Lawrence is here to see you.

Why didn't you tell me this before?

He arrived without warning. He's in the library.

Inspector Lawrence of the Homicide Squad, Your Excellency.

He insisted on speaking to you.

- Hello, Inspector. Please. - How do you do, Your Excellency?

Oh, uh...

Matches.

I'm sorry to trouble you, Mr Ambassador,

but I find myself in a particularly... embarrassing position.

I quite understand.

And I'm going to collaborate with the police.

Naturally, I expect this investigation to be carried out

- with the utmost discretion. - Yes, Mr Ambassador.

There's a question I should like to ask you.

Did you know that woman?

- Which woman? - I meant the one... the one that was in...

Oh, the one who was in the luggage boot of my car?

Well, I might tell you, Inspector,

after one glance and...

quite frankly I didn't feel like taking a second one,

the lady seemed to me utterly unrecognizable.

Because of that, do you think the man who killed her...

Or woman.

What makes you think the murderer might be a woman?

Well, why not? It's just a thought.

After all, as far as I can see,

there's no evidence one way or the other.

You spoke of the man who committed the murder.

I seem to suggest that it might have been a woman.

Why? Isn't it possible?

Certainly, it is possible.

The use of vitriol does suggest a woman's hand.

Or a colored person's.

They're expert at such things.

I'm grateful for your suggestion.

Don't rely too much on the words of a diplomat, Inspector.

Remember we are all professional liars.

We may do it with a certain amount of style and elegance

but... we are still liars.

So you have no idea who might have put that corpse in your car?

Or why?

No. No, I haven't the faintest idea.

However, if it's any use to you,

I might suggest that this could be an attempt to create a big scandal,

which would compromise relations between our two countries

which right now happen to be excellent.

Yes, I suppose so.

You're most kind, Your Excellency.

- I don't know how to... - Oh, not at all. It's my duty

to collaborate with the authorities of the country of which I'm a guest.

It's a matter of courtesy, hmm?

Would you allow me to question some members of the embassy staff?

Yes, of course.

But not here. Call them to the police station, will you?

Whom do you want to see?

For the moment, it will be enough to talk to the chauffeur.

And the governess. Later, perhaps...

Well, let's hope the matter will end there.

It will be so much better for all of us. I'll take you to your car.

- No, don't worry. - No, it's a pleasure.

- Maggie? - You are here too.

Yes. Who is it they're questioning in there now?

Mandel, the chauffeur.

Listen, Maggie, there is one thing I would like to ask.

You can be sure, Miss,

I know what I have to say and what I haven't.

I'm not so stupid as to tell the police

everything about the ambassador's private life.

That would be quite useless to the police

and dangerous for me.

- So... - What do you want me to say?

You've been making questions now for two hours

and I don't know what I can tell you that I haven't already told you.

You haven't told me much.

I'm sorry. I suffer from conjunctivitis. I can't bear the light.

Rather inconvenient for your kind of job.

- Yes, it is. - You haven't replied.

I've told you everything. That night I went out as usual.

To go to the pictures, wasn't it?

Yes, to the pictures, even if I can't prove it.

You can take your glasses off now. There's not too much light in here.

It was almost midnight.

I got home. I put the car in the garage and locked the doors.

Yes, you told us that.

I'm telling you for the hundredth time.

Take it easy. We're just asking questions.

But you ask questions like you suspect that I'm guilty.

That's your opinion.

He only wants to know if you've forgotten some detail

that might be important to us.

I do not forget anything.

All this means, therefore,

is that when you got back to the embassy,

somebody else could have put the corpse in the boot of the car.

That's what I say, and the next morning I brought the car around

and was waiting for Mrs Sobiesky to come down.

That's not what the governess said.

Why? What the hell did she...?

That stupid...

- And so? - A lot.

She said that when she came out of the embassy with Mrs Sobiesky

it looked as if you were in a hurry to go somewhere