Another Pair of Aces: Three of a Kind

Your honor, this news comes as a shock

and surprise.

I am very disappointed.

Counselors proceed in your seats please.

This morning, a prison van traveling from Huntsville

to Austin was exploded at a truck stop near Roane's Prairie.

Two deputy sheriffs and Mr. Delbert McKitrick were killed.

The cause of the explosion is unknown,

no suspects have been apprehended.

Since Mr. McKitrick was the prosecution's chief witness,

the state has no choice but to withdraw all seven charges

of murder against the defendant.

It is with the deepest and the most profound regret,

Mr. Slate that I am obligated to set you free.

Now get your despicable butt out of here.

You killed my daughter,

I want you dead, dead, dead!

Order in this court!

Order in this court, bailiff, remove this man!

Get that man out of here!

Stay low, I'll get you out of here, come on.

The coffee's thick as 40 weight oil,

tastes like it to.

Here look out.

You know I don't eat breakfast.

Now listen to me, son, breakfast is the cornerstone

of a man's day, that's what Mama always said.

You ain't my mama, Jack.

I wouldn't take the job if they served dinner afterwards

but someone's got to worry about you

because you have been abandoned by every woman in your life.

- Abandoned. - That's right, abandoned.

Jewel's gone to L.A.

With my blessings.

Well, Debbie's run off to El Paso.

For college, kids leave home, Jack.

Well, Rose ain't kin, she's the finest woman

you'll ever know and she's up and gone to Del Rio,

what the hell's in Del Rio?

Her daddy needs her.

He ain't the only one who needs her.

Family's important.

Ain't nothing more.

That's exactly why I'm bunking here.

I'm just trying to help fill up some of the empty spots

in your life.

Free room and board don't hurt nothing, does it?

That just ain't right.

I was just kidding, Jack.

No, I'm talking about this.

Everybody knows that Slate had McKitrick killed

so he wouldn't testify.

Now Slate's out free as air.

It's a sad story.

It's a story that wouldn't have been

written 100 years ago.

Justice would have been served.

Yeah, well things change.

That's because too many people are afraid

to stand up for what's right.

Thank god, there's some of us who ain't afraid

and never will be.

You want some more potatoes?

Just drive over

to Hoffner campaign headquarters, they're.

Hell, Colonel, I hate politicians worse than taxes.

So do I, rip but Hoffner's making a big stink.

He claims he's had threats against his life.

That comes with the territory in politics, don't it?

That's true enough but Chief,

Vernan asked us to lend a hand

while Hoffner's campaigning in Austin,

it makes him feel safe.

He could be governor and we're gonna have to

take him seriously.

Vote for Bud Hoffner,

Texas can ride tall in the saddle again.

Vote for Bud Hoffner in the capital as governor.

He'll stop the rising crime rate

and he'll turn on his

and then the.

My friends and fellow Texans, it's been four years now,

the governor's been sitting out there in the capital.

- Excuse me Mr. Hoffner. - What do you want!

Can't you see I'm rehearsing.

Get that away from me.

My friends and fellow Texans.

Pardon me sir.

Not now you idiot!

My friends and fellow Texans, it's been four years now,

the governor's been, not while I'm rehearsing dialogue.

Hoffner, we're ready for you on camera now,

ready for you please.

All right, all right, don't push me.

Okay, here he comes, stepping in.

Who's the idiot that go the 16 hand horse?

That's all I need.

All right, we're ready to roll, please,

get ready to slate.

We have speed now and slate it.

Ready please and action.

My friends and fellow Texans.

It's been four years now the governor's

been sitting up there.

What will we do with the horse, John.

That's all right, it happens all the time.

Here we go.

My friends and fellow Texans,

it's been four years now, the governor's been sitting up

- there in the capital. - This is not a commercial

about a microphone!

Here we go.

My friends and fellow Texans,

it's been four years now,

the governor's been sitting up there

in the capital in his big office.

Stop, stop, stop,

that's all right, Mr. Hoffner, it happens, it happens

to the best of them.

This is Rip, Colonel, you remember a hired gun

from Tyler named Danny Schmits?

Wasn't he doing time in Huntsville for attempted murder?

Was, they cut him loose in October,

time off for good behavior, why?

Well, he just showed up, I'm gonna go have a look.

It's four years now the governor's been sitting up there

in the capital in his big office behind his.

Okay, ready for another take,

now can we please have it quiet on the set?

He's got a gun!

I can't shoot like this,

now quiet on the set!

All right, action.

Well, now that things are under control,

only if it ain't the cavalry, how are you doing, Captain?

What the hell are you doing here?

Lying and by god cheating.

We've been playing dominoes four days running

and he ain't lost but two times.

Now that ain't luck and that ain't skill,

that's yellow dog cheating.

And that's a damn lie and you know it.

You all are just bad losers, I'm a good winner.

They even brought the National Guard in here

to steal my money.

They're here because we got a belly full

- of this sidewinder. - Cheating us blind!

I wouldn't do nothing like that, Captain,

I'm a man of integrity and certain spiritual inclinations.

Spiritual my butt.

Check his inside pockets.

Why he even stole my diamond-studded money clip.

Oh, horseshoes.

Let's have a look at that belt buckle, Ace.

I'm really disappointed in you, Captain,

I thought we were a little closer than that.

Okay, boys game's over, get out of here, go home.

- What about our money? - My money, you're both wrong,

it's evidence.

Not so fast, Rodriguez.

Last time around, I told you I never wanted to see you

in Texas again.

Hmm-mm.

Well, why am I seeing you?

Because these gentlemen over here brought me

all the way up from Mexico

to teach them how to play dominoes.

As a true son of Texas, how could I refuse?

Just say no.

Next time I will.

Too late.

You gonna arrest me for playing dominoes?

Well, what the hell am I supposed to do with you?

You're an escaped felon.

Oh, you cleared me of all that stuff.

And you lied to me.

You have been selected to uphold the tradition

begun 150 years ago in this great state.

Then as now the legal system failed the people

and the people joined together to uphold law and order

to ensure justice was done.

What rough beast, it's hour come round at last,

slouches towards Bethlehem to be born.

The beast is alive again and we must stop its progress.

Do you accept this responsibility?

I do.

This body has found Richard Slate guilty of murder

and has sentenced him to death.

Now back to Mister Radio,

the Stanley Aldridge Show.

Speaking of old Sug Campbell,

when I was visiting yesterday

with a favorite football coach,

Sug came from one of.

So, Sug tells me he's got a bunch of young players

coming up size 15 feet, shoulders about the size

of your motorcycle.

God, I hope they can just read numbers good enough

to find their locker, just kidding Sug.

But hey, if you need a helmet for one of them boys.