Reaper

Is that better?

What's that?

I just went for some takeout.

I wasn't expecting company, not that I mind a surprise visit.

So, what's up?

I was on my way to work, and I decided

I want to introduce you to my friends.

Really? That's great!

Yeah. It is great.

Well, here's the story we're gonna tell them.

- There's a story? - We met at a mall.

I was shopping for pants, and you and I got into a fight for the last pair.

It was instant chemistry. Boom!

Boom. Ben, I don't think that's gonna be a very good story.

It is. It happens all the time.

And after some time passes

and the guys get to know you and see how awesome you are,

then we'll tell them you're a demon from hell and all that.

You're ashamed of me. You're ashamed of me, aren't you?

- You're ashamed that I'm a demon. - What? No, that's crazy. No.

I just my friends might have a problem with the fact that

you tried to kill Sam that one time, but that's all.

It's not like I tried to murder your friend for fun.

I was rebelling against Satan, and Sam is his right hand.

I was basically being a hero.

Anyway, can we please move past this?

It would just be for a little while,

and I'll know that they'll be crazy about you the way I am.

Will you do this for me, please?

OK, fine.

I'll do it, but the second

that they think they're crazy about me, we tell them.

Absolutely. Thank you so much.

- Tastes like pennies. - That's just blood, silly.

I'm gonna go wash up.

Say, are you just washing your hands or taking a full shower?

Because I could help.

Actually, I'm late for work.

Reaper

Season 2 Episode 3

" The Sweet Science "

It's difficult when a member of your family is removed from your life,

forcibly or otherwise,

and we want to make this time of transition

as smooth and painless as possible.

With that in mind, we looked over the personnel from this store,

and we feel that we have made an excellent decision...

Surprise.

- What? - The floor is yours.

No way. You're our new manager?

No way, Sam. You're banging our new manager. Shut up.

Hey, everybody... Listen, I just want to say that I know first-hand

how hard everybody works here, and

don't worry, you know, i'm not gonna get all crazy with power or anything.

Also, I'm not above buying your affection,

so why don't we just kick the day off with a prize?

A prize?

I've got one gift certificate to the coffee shack for one lucky winner.

And that winner is...

Les Nessman.

Yeah! Les, where are you? Les, get up. He's not here. OK.

Hey, everybody,

Les Nessman couldn't be here today 'cause he's out on a lumber delivery, so

I am glad to accept this gift certificate on his behalf.

- Thank you. - Who is Les Nessman?

He and I have a squash game later on. I will make sure that he gets this.

Don't you worry.

I got you a little something to say congratulations.

Sorry, we were out of number one boss mugs.

Thank you. That's very sweet.

I'm sorry that I sprung this on you.

Corporate made me promise not to say anything until official announcement.

Are you mad? Really? OK, so you're cool with this?

I mean, me being your boss and everything.

Yeah, definitely. I mean, nothing's gonna change between us, right?

Of course not.

OK. Actually...

Do you know this Les Nessman guy? I mean, I've never even heard of him.

Les N... yeah.

He's great. Good. I got to get back to work. Good talk, OK?

- Hey, guys. - Hey, Benji.

- You guys want to go get a drink? - Hells yes.

No, not now. Tonight.

There's somebody i'd like you to meet.

- Ben, did you meet a girl? - When did you meet a girl?

I need a little me time, so I went to the mall alone...

- Sure. - To buy a couple pair of pants.

You bought a couple pair of pants?

Since when do you need more than one pair of pants? What are you, Jude Law?

Point is, I went to the mall and met a girl,

nice, normal girl, and I'd like her to meet you.

- Yeah, we would love to. - That sounds lovely.

- Set it up, all right? - Where are you going?

Benji got me all psyched for a drink. I'm gonna go have a cocktail break.

- Come on. - Why would I go?

Because you, my friend, make a grasshopper like nobody else can, OK?

- Don't ask questions. - Yeah, you guys go ahead.

I'll just stay here and work. That's cool.

And I had to go around the house collecting the hidden whiskey bottles,

one by one.

I guess that's all I have to say tonight.

That's what it's all about, people staying strong.

Each and every one of us is here for the same reason.

We're weak.

But we must also rember the strength of the individual.

With that in mind, I'd like to step it up a little bit.

Barb, what is your favorite drink?

- I love a nice irish car bomb. - An irish car bomb?

Tonight, I want you to go to your old watering hole,

and I want you to order an irish car bomb.

I know, but that's what I want you all to do.

Tonight, you go to a bar, and I want you to order your favorite poison.

And then I want you to walk away.

That's power, people, power over your addiction.

So let's go do it?

Very good, Barbara. Thank you.

Don't let me down, Carl. Counting on you, babe.

Be strong.

- You are a terrible person, seriously. - That's my job, man.

You know, tempting the weak, culling the herd.

You know the drill.

Now, I want you to make a fist. Go ahead.

Nice. Solid, strong. You're gonna be all right.

Boxing gloves? I'm supposed to box a soul now?

He goes by the name of Michael "red" Sabatino, a real chump.

He took a payoff in the fifties and threw a fight.

They busted him, and they drummed him out of the sport.

And now he's after the one thing that eluded him his whole life.

The championship he never won.

You are aware that I know nothing about boxing, right?

Relax.

Red's got a weak spot. All you have to do is land one punch on the chin.

Lights out. It's gonna be a piece of cake.

All right now. Clear out of here.

I've got a sexaholics group coming in at 5:00.

Tends to be a little messy.

I have never ever had cooked cow before.

- This is so good. - She likes her burgers rare.

So, Nina, where you from?

- I'm from the Kansas. - The State of Kansas. Kansas the State.

OK. Yeah, Ben was telling us that you guys met at the mall.

Boom. Hey, Nina, check this out.

What do you think is your biggest character flaw?

Sock. You don't have to answer that.

Hold on. I just want to find out what we're in for.

I don't want her to crush him like cassidy did.

- Who's Cassidy? - An old flame.

She stepped out on him while he was in the Pokey.

- What's the Pokey? - It's prison.

- Babe, why were you in prison? - It's a long story. I...

My ex-wife double-crossed me. She took my money and

left me holding the bag for our sham green card marriage.

Plus she was a limey. Gross.

You are a horrible judge of character when it comes to women.

So, Anita, what's your deal, then? You some kind of murderer

- or something? - She's not a murder!

OK, Ben. Sorry. I was just kidding.

I am stuffed. Does anybody want half my burger?

- I do. - Nina, no!

Jeez!

Why'd you do that?

I wanted to eat his meat before those guys got it.

Yeah, Nina, nice. I like a girl who eats like a trucker.

Thank you, Sock.

This is where the soul is supposed to be.

Getting a little nervous to throw down with him?

It's just one punch. Besides, the devil said he was a chump.

All right, tough guy, let's do it.

Gym's closed.

We're... We're not here to work out!

The devil sent me!

Well, then, step into my office.

"Step into my office."

You're not gonna start crying on me, are you?

I'm not gonna cry.

- Let's fight. - Go on, knock him. Pop him, pop him.

You know who I am, sluggo?

I'm Red Sabatino,

the same Red Sabatino who racked up a 33-1 record.

And 29 of those were knockouts.

And 11 of those went in the first round.

Walk it off, walk it off!

I was the best there was, pound for pound, kid.

And they sic a Tomato can in after me? I'm insulted.

That was me at about 10%.

You come back again, and I'll kill you.

Tell the devil I ain't going back.

Yes, sir. Thank you, sir. Well done.

At least you won the moral victory.

- Hey, boss. You wanted to see me? - Hey. Yeah. Come in.

I've been trying to find this les nessman guy.

Really? That SOB. Win another latte or what?

No. What I thought was weird is that I've never met him,

and we've both worked here for like, 6 years.

Two years, Andi. Actually, Nessman's been here for two years.

Right. Yeah. Well, you would know since you are him.

- You're high. You're so high. - I went over old paperwork.

You and Les Nessman have worked the same shift ever since his first day.

So what? We're shift mates.

You clock in and out at the exact same times.