The Middle

Everybody knows you're much cooler

if you're running with a posse.

Even Brick.

Yep, things were going well for my kids.

Brick had a group of friends...

We did it. They approved us. We're officially roommates!

... Sue finally got the roommate she'd been dreaming of,

and Axl was proving himself invaluable

at his first foray into the business world.

What are you doing, intern?

Okay, maybe not exactly invaluable.

Hole-punching quarterly reports

to put them in your binder for you, sir.

Mr. Kershaw. Sir.

Ah.

Taking initiative. Going the extra mile.

Much better idea than using three-hole-punch paper!

Well, on the plus side,

if we ever have a party, we've already got confetti.

Yay.

Come on, let's go.

What? Me? Where are we going?

- To lunch. - What?

Aah.

Ugh.

Can you tell me what this is I just stepped on in the carpet?

Um... I don't know.

It goes to something.

Thanks, Inspector. Case solved.

Maybe it goes to the bottom of the blender?

Yeah.

Nope.

Ooh. Maybe it's that knob to the clock on the stove?

No.

Is it that thing from the other time?

Mm, might be. I'd hate to think there were two of them.

Remember when we used to talk about movies and politics?

Mm.

Well, the Ax-man is rockin' it on all cylinders.

My boss loves me.

I thought you said he hated you.

He did. But now apparently I'm charming, charismatic...

which I already knew,

but I've never been told by somebody in a suit before.

And get this... he says I'm going places.

Like to your own place, where you pay for things?

Ha! You know where I don't pay for things?

Fountains. That's right.

Jack took me to Fountains, and I got to eat anything I wanted.

He even let me order two cokes.

You had lunch at Fountains?

I chased a hard-boiled egg across the carpet.

Jack says I'm trustworthy.

Says I got an authenticity

the spineless toadies around him lack.

That's right... Jack told me to call him Jack,

so Jack he shall be called.

Aww. See?

I knew that once he got to know my sweet...

Hey, whoa, whoa! No, no, no, no.

Why you got to turn everything into an excuse to hug me?

Don't flatter yourself. Nobody wants to hug you anyway!

I'll hug him tonight when he's asleep.

Can you sign this form saying you take full responsibility

for the school camera, editing equipment, the sound equipment,

and lighting packet while it's in my possession?

No, we will not.

Well, then I'll have to do that signature Axl taught me,

'cause I really need it for this project

I'm doing for film class.

Oh, heads up... I'm working on a shoestring budget,

so I'm gonna be shooting it entirely in the house.

A horror movie, is it?

Well, the assignment is to

take an important piece of film history

and interpret it as our own.

I'm thinking either "Battleship Potemkin"

or "Knots Landing."

I love "Knots Landing."

I binge-watched all 14 seasons

when we inherited that box of Aunt Edie's old tapes.

Now, I know what you're thinking...

Sure, "Battleship Potemkin"

was named the greatest film of all time,

but "Knots Landing" just has the undefinable "it."

Plus it's one of the few true historical records we have of the 1980s.

The '80s weren't that long ago, Brick.

It was 30-some years ago.

Holy crap.

Well, I better get on it.

I'll be in Sue's room, scouting locations.

Also, I'm still on the fence, but the episode I'm looking at

may require a small car explosion.

Okay, so, I don't know if you think this is lame,

but I was thinking maybe it could be kind of cool

if we used the memo board

to let each other know where we are at all times.

Okay, shut up!

I was just about to suggest that.

I read about that idea on...

subheading... "dorm keeping for dummies...

101 hacks for rocking life away from home"!

Ohh, my god! I am so happy right now!

Me too! Wait. Okay, close your eyes.

I have something else for the room!

Oh, my god, if it is the sparkly dragon pillow

I saw at the student store, I am seriously gonna pass out!

Better.

Okay, open.

Eeeee... Oh, my god.

What?! A flat-screen TV?!

- Awesome, right? - Yeah.

And it was practically free. It was only $300.

I had to get it.

Heh. How could you not?

Right? So, your half is $150.

What?

Yeah, $150 even.

Oh, sure.

'Cause that would be half of $300.

Mm-hmm. I just put it on my visa,

so you can pay me back whenever.

No rush... just whenever you go to the bank machine.

'Kay.

Okay. Remember, in this scene, Cindy, you're Abby...

a beautiful, calculating temptress

who will stop at nothing to get what she wants.

And, Troy, you're Gary...

a handsome, naive Texas transplant

who used to be married to Valene,

but then Abby stole you,

and now she's trying to make you, Gary,

feel better about cutting your best friend, Kenny,

out of Ciji's recording deal.

Cool.

Uh, Cindy, I'm gonna need you to lose the hat.

I can't lose the hat.

Well, you got to lose the hat. Abby doesn't wear a hat.

I might be willing to tuck up the flaps, but that's it.

Fine.

And... action!

I, uh, just got off the phone with Munson.

He tells me you and Kenny had quite a scene.

Yeah.

Cut! Cut, cut.

Cindy, do you not get what your intention is?

You just got off the phone with Munson.

Munson!

This guy here could blow the whole deal.

And, Troy, I'm seeing the acting all over the place.

This is "Knots Landing."

Let's keep it real.

Didn't you people watch the 14 years of episodes I gave you?

Do you even own a Betamax?!

Again... From the top.

Oh, hey, Jack.

Langdon from the art department sent down some new sketches

for the fruit pie on-the-go packaging.

Am I crazy,

or do all the drawings of fruit pies look like him?

So, where'd we leave off yesterday?

I'm screwed, Heck.

What? No, come on. You're only down by two.

You make a shot on one foot, you're up by five.

No, I'm screwed. We all are.

But... I thought things were going great.

You had that meeting yesterday

where you said, "things are going great."

Oh, it's all a show, Heck.

I can't tell the people out there the truth.

They have mortgages and car payments.

They don't need to know that our profits are in the crapper.

But I know.

I know, Heck.

And now...

so do you.

$142... So, Sue scraped together her birthday money,

her spudsy money,

and even participated in a psychological experiment

to pay for her half of the TV.

... and my lucky $2 bill

my grandpa gave me when I was born...

Makes $150.

Oh. Thank you.

Oh. You have a electrode thingy...

Oh! Oh.

Just covering a zit.

You know, college... heh... stress.

Oh! Wait! Don't move.

I am scheduling us both facials right now.

Oh, and check it out... I got us a popcorn popper.

And these cute little containers that say "popcorn."

They were only $20 each. You can pay me back whenever.

'Kay.

Okay, now, in this scene, Cindy, you'll be playing Karen,

an idealistic widow conflicted by a recent proposal

from the hotheaded but dashing Mack.

And, Troy, you're Teddy, Karen's old high-school flame,

and you'll stop at nothing to get her back.

And action!