Channel Zero

That's every room.

Oh.

Now it's our house.

What do you think? Guest bedroom?

For now.

Here you go, Mrs. Hodgson.

To home.

To home.

What one is unagi again? Eel?

Mmm, oh, my God.

- Mmm. Remind me, okay? - Mm-hmm.

Out front we got, um, climbing roses?

- No roses. - No roses?

- No, I don't like roses. - You don't like roses?

That is new information to me. Never knew that.

Roses are lazy and dishonest.

Dishonest?

Ooh, pretty flower.

And then a minute later, you're bleeding.

Okay, or, you know, you could, like,

pick it carefully and maybe you won't bleed.

Plus it's like, oh, look at me.

I'm a rose.

Well then, you can put in whatever you want

once we get done with the renovation.

I have this image of the house collapsing

in a cloud of dust.

No.

See, Dad,

he knew he was gonna raise a family here.

So, put a lot of work into this place.

Well, your mom gave us the house.

So, you know, let's not look a gift house in the mouth.

I'm just saying, as far as wedding presents go,

you can't do much better than a house.

Yeah, 'cause this one

has strong bones.

- You know I have unagi breath. - I love unagi breath.

Is that the basement?

Hey.

Watch your step.

When your mom said she'd left a couple of things down here,

I thought she meant, like, a box or two.

Watch out for spiders.

This is amazing.

Oh, no.

Jeez.

I found your second grade report card.

- Yeah? - Mm-hmm.

B in language arts.

I'm proud of that.

Oh, there's so much good stuff here.

Hmm.

I found a picture of us.

Wha...

- What is happening? - What?

What is hap... Where did you come from?

Oh, my God. Hey!

- How did that dog just get in? - Oh, my God.

- Babe, did we just get a dog? - Uh, I don't...

I'm gonna name him unagi.

- Unagi! - Wait, wait, wait.

- I like big dogs, baby. - Unagi, where are you?

Can't be seen walking that little thing.

Where did you go? There you are.

Oh, my God.

Hi.

Oh, God.

You know, when I was a kid, I had a stuffed toy animal

who looked just like this.

I left it somewhere when I was, like, five and I never

- saw it again. - Mmm, that's so sad.

Oh, my bad.

Oh, yeah? That's how you feel?

That was an accident. My fault.

Oh, yeah? You wanna...

You wanna start something you can't finish?

No, I'm not trying to start anything.

- Is that what you're gonna do? - Jill, Jill.

Hey, you... you...

Stop it!

Who gonna take that dog for a walk, huh?

Okay.

- Yeah, you laugh. - Uh-huh.

- Thanks, babe. - Yeah.

- Ooh. - Whoo!

All right.

I think you guys are having too much fun in there.

We should start a band.

Uh, uh, uh, uh. Back it up.

Every blow is devastating. Yo, this is the wrong room.

- What? - I'm just kidding.

So you were best friends since you were kids?

I love it. It's so romantic.

So was meeting on Tinder.

So what was it like when you saw each other again?

I dunno, what can I say? It was this immediate thing.

Mm-hmm.

And eventually I convinced her to move back here.

It's true.

I never thought I was gonna come back to this place.

Tom, is it weird living in the same house

that you grew up in?

Uh, yes.

So, um, for example, like, Jill found this trunk

downstairs just full of old stuff from when I was a kid.

Like, spelling tests and shit like that.

Oh, did you notice that one of yours was down there?

- Mmm. - Okay.

Oh, my goodness.

She used to draw these stories...

Like, these made-up characters or whatnot...

And there was this one guy, he was what?

He was a juggler or something?

Um, what was his name?

It was like, uh, Pretzel... Pretzel Man.

Or, like, Pretzel Pete or something like that.

And Pretzel Pete, this guy could just bend

into these positions and just, like, leg...

No, okay, I had gone to the circus,

and I had seen this contortionist.

And I just made up this contortionist clown guy

and drew him in these little stories that I would write.

- Pretzel Jack. - Pretzel Jack.

That was his name.

Anyway, Pretzel Jack.

Ladies wear to register 14, please.

Ladies wear, register 14.

- Hey. - Hey.

All right.

So, what do you wanna do about food, huh?

Should we order something?

What's the matter?

Jill.

Who was that woman?

What woman?

At the store.

Okay, uh, her name's Sarah Winters.

She and her husband, they live out in Mayor Hill,

and we redid their master bedroom.

I guess she wasn't happy.

Did you sleep with her or something?

Don't, okay? Let's... Let's just not.

Did you?

Just answer me.

- Tom. - I'm not your father.

I'm not gonna do what he did.

Even if I had slept with her, for the record,

that would have been, like, way in the past.

So, I mean, look, you can look her up, okay?

You can call her. You can confirm.

We did some work for her. She wasn't happy.

You wanna call her?

- I'm sorry. - No, I shouldn't have snapped.

I love you.

I trust you.

- I really love you. - Mmm.

I love you, too.

Hey, Jill?

What's up?

Hey, can you come down here for a second?

Actually, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, okay.

Don't come down yet.

Just picture the far wall down here.

- Okay. - You got it?

- Got it. - Describe it for me.

- It's just a wall. - But what else?

- I mean, what's on it? - Nothing.

You sure?

Is there a picture on it?

I mean, like, is there a... Like, is there a window?

Is there, uh, maybe, like, a door?

There's no window or door.

Okay, come, come, come.

Come down here.

I just... I don't get it.

I don't remember any door here.

Yeah.

Yeah, I grew up in this house,

and I don't even remember a door.

Why would I never notice this?

There's no keyhole.

There's no air coming through.

This thing is solid.

So, where do... Where does it go?

Beats me. Okay.

My mom's never seen this door, either.

This really freaks me out.

I don't know. Maybe it's, uh...

Maybe it's that "Berenstain Bears" thing.

You know, with a different spelling?

Or, like, that movie "Shazaam" with Sinbad

that everyone swears existed?

I don't... I don't know.

- What the fuck? - Yeah, man.

Screws are hidden. Can't remove the hinges.

It's not some weird memory thing.

There was no door. Now there's a door.

Jason, you understand that's, uh, impossible, right?

Come on. We all remember.