Life Unexpected

Previously on Life Unexpected...

You've met Mr. Daniels.

- You're a... - Teacher.

You don't have to be alone.

I mean, there's plenty of guys who would date you for real.

You seem to forget I'm your boss.

So, um, Julia's your ex.

Yes, Julia and I dated.

According to Paige, she was the love of your life,

which is a pretty big thing to never mention in three years.

When you and I broke up, Julia and I slept together.

We didn't even really talk after that...

until the day before our wedding.

Julia came to me,

and she said that she thought she was pregnant.

What if she had been pregnant?

Would you have called off the wedding?

I don't know.

Baze told me everything, Cate.

He said you were over at his loft.

He said it was you that was having doubts.

He said you were afraid that you were in love with him? No!

I-I put those feelings to bed the second that I said "I do".

What would you have done?

Not now, but then? If he had told you that he loved you?

I don't know.

Um...

I was... I was going to shower,

but you know, you... you go ahead.

Yeah. I guess the days of us

showering together are over, huh?

Well, I hope not.

Um, I mean, that's why we have couple's counseling today.

Well, you know, you could just sneak over to Baze's

and use his shower.

Do you really want to start this again?

Because I am not the only one that did something wrong.

Okay, see, now, I slept with someone

while we were broken up.

You went over to Baze's

the night before our wedding,

and you said you loved him.

No, I said,

"What if a part of me was in love with him?" is what I said.

A part of you?

Do you hear how crazy that sounds?

Okay, so what, so now you think I'm crazy?

Uh, yeah, "part of me" does.

You... you going to use the bathroom, or...

No, I'm too upset to shower.

I'm too upset to even be in the same house with you.

Well, you know what, soon you won't have to be,

because you have Lux's school camping trip.

No, we have Lux's school camping trip.

But you know what? If we can't even share a bathroom,

I don't know how we are going to sleep in a tent together.

You know what? You're right.

Count me out.

Knock, knock.

What are you doing?

This is my version of breakfast in bed.

Maybe someday soon, I can bring you the real thing.

After we... You know.

Sex seems a little premature, don't you think?

Guys don't like to hear the words "sex" and "premature"

in the same sentence.

We can't do this here.

Don't most people...

start with dinner?

Actually get to know each other

before falling into bed together?

I'm not most people.

Right.

You're my employee.

And that's complicated.

And I'm looking for something simple.

Oh, I'm so simple, it hurts. Come on.

All right.

Look, if we go out, we have to be discreet.

No one at the office can know about us.

No, I'll find a place that's off the beaten path.

There's a... there's a hoagie hut

halfway between here and Salem.

I was hoping we'd go someplace that required

a little forethought and planning.

Tomorrow night, I will find a nice spot

that requires reservations and shoes.

I'll have my assistant check my calendar.

I'm your assistant.

Yep.

Definitely simple.

Thank you for remembering your permission slips.

In return, I give you your Holy Bible

for this weekend's camping trip.

It says what to pack,

where to be at 8 a.m. sharp tomorrow morning,

a summary of all our activities,

this trip would be completely lame

if it wasn't going to be totally awesome.

Mm-hmm.

It's kind of ironic, right?

We were latchkey, borderline homeless kids,

and now we're signing up to sleep outside?

You realize this'll be

the first time we've gone anywhere together?

You mean when we weren't running away from someplace else?

Yeah.

I don't know, I'm just...

I'm glad you're here

to do this with me.

You know, with everything that's going on

with Cate and Ryan.

They're chaperoning the trip, right? Cate and Ryan?

Yeah. And Baze.

It's going to be like Survivor: Three Stooges Edition.

Hmm. Well, good thing other chaperones are coming.

Mr. Daniels is coming.

What?

Hey.

You can't go camping.

Not only is half my grade going,

but my entire family is, too.

I just want to have fun. I don't want to deal with

this whole red light, green light thing.

That's not what I'm doing.

Really?

Right. 'Cause you kiss me, and then,

and then you start dating Paige.

And you break up with Paige

because you say you care about me and you want to help me.

And then you pawn me off on some special ed therapist...

who, by the way, has given me like 1,000 disability tests

- to figure out why I'm such a moron. - You're not a moron.

I have a thing for a guy

who pulls me in just to push me away.

So, yeah, actually, I am a moron.

Look, I broke up with Paige because...

Okay, you know why I broke up with Paige.

It's the same reason I can't be your tutor anymore.

I thought giving us some distance

would let us both move on.

I'm all for distance.

So get out of camping.

You came because you feel like your marriage is in trouble.

What issues are you trying to resolve?

My only issue is that I don't understand

where the hell my husband is.

I see we're dealing with some anger issues.

What we're dealing with is a guy

that won't admit he is wrong.

yeah, you know, apparently, I can't cross the street

without doing something to screw up my marriage

and yet...

You know, he practically impregnates his ex-girlfriend,

who I never heard of before last week,

and he never mentions that he's dealing with any of this

until he's caught.

I mean, I was putting

my flowers in her vase. How is that not wrong?

Okay, what are you writing?

Cate.

A relationship is a two-way street.

Take a step back,

think about what your expectations were going in...

My expectations were for him to show up here, and he didn't.

I expected my marriage to last longer than 30 seconds.

My expectations were not that high.

Maybe we should reschedule for when you're both available.

Why do I feel like you're already on his side?

That's an interesting question.

Why do you?

We should reschedule.

Do you have a sleeping bag?

Not yet, but Cate's going to take us

to get some supplies after practice.

Can we get a thermos so we can sneak in some booze?

They might search our stuff.

But Cate can't go anywhere without wine,

so we let her sneak it in, and then we'll steal some.

I'm so glad you use your genius for evil instead of good.

So... you're a foodie, right?

Can't tell if that's an insult.

No. I mean, you like food, so

if I really wanted to impress Emma, where should I take her

to dinner, tomorrow night?

Nowhere, because you're chaperoning.

The camping trip.

That's tomorrow?

I thought that was next weekend!

Hey, math, can I talk to you for a second?

It's about the camping trip.

Don't tell me you forgot about it, too.

No, no, no. Something came up, and I just need to get out...

No one is getting out of this weekend.

I've been planning this for months,

and we need eight chaperones.

So if anyone has an issue, I don't want to hear about it!

We're going camping, damn it.

And we're going to have fun!

Hey.