Lyle, Lyle, Crocodile

Ten tiny typists tripped through the tunnel.

Ten tiny typists tripped through the tunnel.

Ten tiny typists...

-You can't be in here. -Compliments of the house. Enjoy it.

-Sir. -It's delicious.

Tell him callbacks are next week and he'll know when he knows.

Okay.

Okay, Show Us What You Got.

Contestant 318, you are up next.

He wasn't next.

-Where's your number? -I have no time to waste.

Magical magic.

Wait a minute, man.

No, no, no.

Hector, we told you after last time, no more.

That was just my song-and-dance routine. My new act will blow your minds.

Prepare yourself for the Dance of a Thousand Pigeons.

Yes.

That's enough.

Thank you.

Maybe...

Maybe go back to singing.

Security.

Seriously, dude?

Ditch the birds.

Show them something they've never seen before.

Because whatever that was, ain't working.

Hi, I'm looking for something...

Something...

Something unusual.

But cute.

Really, really cute.

Also affordable.

That I can fit under my hat,

while I am dancing.

We got a special on bird-eating spiders.

Okay, let's try this again.

Boa constrictor.

Vampire bat.

Might have a lemur in the back.

A lemur.

I like it like that

I like it like that

Like that, baby

Oh, I said I like it like that

I like it like that

Yeah, I like it like

Stomp your feet If you think I'm neat

Clap your hands If you want some more

Yeah, baby

Like it Like it

Like it like

I like it like that

Yeah, I really like it like that...

A singing crocodile.

Baby, I like it like that

LYLE

"Lyle." Lyle.

Hector P. Valenti, star of stage and screen, at your service.

My reptilian friend, welcome home.

We're family now.

Come.

Okay, let's go.

Come on, Lyle.

I know you don't talk, but you can sing.

You can pack your bags And start skipping town

Hang up that hat When the show shuts down

But when the world says You ain't quite world-renowned

Don't count yourself out yet

When you hit that lonely and lowest low

Well, up's the only way left to go

You're meant to reinvent the show

So ain't you glad we met?

Turn that dull and dusty solo

To a dazzling duet

Maybe we started pretty small

But take a look at us now

Take a look at us now

Suddenly standing 10 feet tall

Take a look at us now

Take a look at us now

Though we had no way To stay afloat

We were scared they'd say It was all she wrote

We're ending on a sky-high note Somehow

Buddy, you were all it took

So take a look at us now

You already owe me for the last show.

Yes, but this one's special.

Then you pay me up-front. In cash.

Cash might be a problem.

But I have something far more valuable.

When that perfect plan's Going off the rails

A heap of trouble is on our tails

It's time to polish up those scales

And give it all you got

If you're out of step

If you're out of sync

And you care too much What those critics think

Well, when you find your missing link

They don't get a second thought

'Cause in the center of the spotlight

We just might have found our spot

Trying our luck with every leap

Take a look at us now

Take a look at us now

The road could be steady Could be steep

Take a look at us now

Take a look at us now

Thought we might be sunk Upon first glance

Well, who'd have thunk That we had a chance?

And life could be A song and dance somehow

Buddy, you were all it took

So take a look at us now

Thirty seconds to curtain.

Got a full house out there. Break a leg.

So even when you're terrified

Just smile a smile a mile wide

'Cause, bud, when you and I collide

Standing side by side

We're gonna take a great big bow

Won't you take a look at us now

Give us a spotlight and a crowd

Take a look at us now

Ready to sing our song out loud

Take a look at us now

Lyle.

Lyle.

Lyle, sing.

Sing, Lyle.

Please.

Won't you take a look at us

Take a look at us

Take a look at us

Drop the curtain.

Come on.

What's that look for?

We've had a minor setback, nothing more.

Yes.

I'll go on the road for a bit, and make some cash.

Here, take this.

It's got every song you'll ever need.

The best companion there is.

Okay.

Okay, I'll be back in two shakes of a lamb's tail.

And remember, if anyone asks, tell them you are stuffed.

Okay.

-You got it? -Yeah, I'm good.

-Couple more. -Straight to the living room, brother.

Are we actually gonna be living here?

I think we are.

This is a really bad idea.

Do you realize Manhattan crime statistics have seen a year-on-year increase

of over 18 percent?

Most people move out of the city when they have kids, not into it.

Ready?

And you must be the Primms.

I am so pleased to meet you. I'm Carol from Liberty Day School.

We're so excited to be here.

Your new Math Department chair.

We are very pleased to have you.

If you can just sign these when you get the chance.

Oh, and this is our son Josh.

Plus we haven't even talked about the widespread use of lead paint.

-New city. Little nervous. -Sure.

Oh, can I tell you how much of a fan I am of your cookbooks?

-Right? -I can't wait to see what you do next.

You know, I'm actually scaling it back a bit work-wise,

so I could spend more time with Josh.

And this is Mr. Grumps, your downstairs neighbor.

Hey, how's it going?

The local housing administration has established strict noise abatement rules.

-Make sure you read them. -Yeah, of course.

-We certainly will, won't we, darling? -Of course.

That is the most beautiful cat I've ever seen.

Loretta is not a cat.

She's a Silver Shaded Persian with an extremely delicate constitution.

Do not feed her or let her out of the building.

Why don't we go upstairs? Yeah, come on.

I'll be watching them. My lawyers will be watching them too.

One foot out of place, and they'll be out, and you'll be forced to sell.

Okay?

I'd say his bark's worse than his bite,

but to be honest, his bite's pretty unpleasant too.

Amazing cat, though. Can we have a pet?

Josh, allergies.

I know.

FYI, there's a few leftovers from a previous owner in the attic.

Hopefully they won't get in your way.

Welcome home.

Babe, can I put this here?

You hate it.

No.

New York City.

-Did we just move here? -I think we did.

You think Josh is gonna be okay?

Are you kidding me? He's got his own floor up there.

He's probably having the time of his life.

What was that?

That is an ambulance.

What was that?