Castle

Remind me, why am I doing this?

Because I saved your ass in marrakesh.

Uh, I let you save my ass, old man,

So that you could impress little miss naughty-knickers,

Who you had a crush on.

You know, for a couple of ex-spies,

You sound a lot like sorority girls at spring break.

Hayley, this is marcus. He's going in with you.

Bryce told me you were a badass,

But he didn't say you were an x-rated fantasy.

It's very hard to focus on how charming you are

When your breath smells like a festival toilet.

Please tell me he's a better sneak

Than he is a pickup artist.

A simple job. 20 minutes tops.

My client is married

To the vp of manchester energy international...

Paul halston.

She's convinced he's cheating.

So, marcus will bypass building security,

While hayley puts spyware on his office computer.

All right. Let's do this.

Thanks again. I owe you.

Yes, you do.

What kind of spyware is this?

It's taking forever to upload.

Shh! This is my office.

It's so fancy. Oh, my goodness.

Look at that. That's where I sit.

Mm.

Oh!

Ah.

Talk about a breach of security.

I'd like to breach hers, that's for sure.

You cannot.

Yes, I can.

Oh, wow. That's so cool.

I guess it's only fair, right?

You gonna show me?

She's way out of his league.

And yours, by the way.

Hmm? Uh...

Is this nice? Whoop!

10 bucks he can't even figure out

How to get that thing off.

Pass.

Oh, ooh. It's okay.

All right. Here, let's go. Hold on.

They're just getting to the good part.

Uh...

I'm leaving.

You're up early. Sleep okay?

No, no, no, no.

No.

Oh, did I snore?

Yeah, but that's not the problem.

What was?

You betrayed me.

What? How? When?

Last night, in my dreams.

But that's... I-I... What's, uh... how...

What could I have possibly done that was so wrong?

You know what? Never mind.

I-I don't even want to relive it.

Well, technically, you didn't live it. You just dreamed it.

That's... but I...

Whatever I did, I am so sorry.

It's the precinct.

Why do I feel like a murder just saved my life?

Beckett.

Martha: Okay, ladies, I have decided

That I should change my autograph.

So... What do you think?

Gram, that looks exactly like your usual autograph.

No, no, no, no, no.

My usual autograph, when I am merely an actress,

Is like this, sort of carefree and... and whimsical,

Whereas the other conveys insight, wisdom.

They're completely different. Can't you see that?

Insight. Wisdom.

Sure. Yes, absolutely.

Good job.

Now, if you'll excuse me,

I have a business to run,

Especially since you-know-who is completely useless.

I heard that.

And if I'm so useless, why would beckett ask me

To consult on a murder?

- Oh, mother, new autograph. - Yeah.

Nice. Conveys wisdom, insight.

I like it.

All right, I just need my car keys,

And I'm off to the manchester energy building.

Wait, murder at manchester energy?

Who's the victim?

All they said was "dead male."

Ah. You know, rick, I have never seen you in action

At an nypd crime scene.

Well, perhaps you'd like to tag along

And watch the crime-scene jedi master at work.

Please tell me you do not refer to yourself as that.

Do you really?

Perhaps you should come watch another time.

No, no, no. Lead on, castle wan kenobi.

You are my only hope.

I like that, but save it.

Say it in front of the guys.

Esposito: Hayley, what happened?

Did you lose a bet, and now castle gets

To drag you everywhere he goes?

Quite the contrary.

Hayley actually wanted to watch me solve yet another murder.

You mean help solve. You... Help.

Yeah, remember, bro, you cannot solve a homicide without us.

While we sure as hell can solve one without you.

Really? Because on the ride over here,

Rick was bragging about how the nypd can't close a case.

Eh, t-those were just jokes that...

Out of context, it's not as funny.

I was rolling my eyes when I said it.

Thank you for stabbing me in the back.

You weren't the only one.

Our victim took his

Right between his t4 and t5 vertebrae.

Severed his spinal cord. Died instantly.

I'm guessing from his outfit, he wasn't an employee?

Esposito: Most likely some kind of thief.

Ryan: Pretty good one at that.

None of the security was tripped.

All the cameras were shut down.

Castle: Was anything stolen?

What's there to steal?

I mean, this is an energy-company office building.

The only thing of value are the furniture and the computers.

May I?

Esposito: Clearly, we're helpless.

So, come on, castle, please, solve this case for us.

Castle: Well, the only thing we know for sure is...

He was killed at 3:27 a.M.

Very good, hayley.

Whoa, wait. What? How did you know that?

Broken watch.

He must have busted it when he hit the ground.

Ryan: Esposito, we have hayley.

What do we need castle for? Yeah.

Castle: Super funny, guys.

That was lucky, and I can still help I.D. This victim,

Thank you very much.

Lanie, run a fingerprint scan.

Lanie: Okay, look, castle,

I don't know what all of this is about,

But I don't tell you how to write your books,

So don't tell me how to I.D. A body.

I've already performed a scan.

I'm just waiting for the results.

Uh, do you think it's possible to identify the victim

From the purchase of these mints?

I guess we could.

It's far more efficient to use a fingerprint scanner.

Oh! Oh!

I-I just bolloxed up a piece of evidence.

I'm so sorry. Rookie move, right?

Because you've never touched anything at a crime scene.

Make note that this is contaminated with hayley's prints.

So sorry.

Oh, here we go. We got an I.D. On our victim.

His name is marcus janek.

He's, uh, yeah... A second-story man

With a history of priors.

Looks like somebody caught marcus in the act and killed him.

Or perhaps marcus had a partner.

Partner?

Well, marcus is a burglar. He would be on high alert.

The only reason he'd let someone behind him

Is if he trusted that person, I.E. A partner.

We find the person marcus broke in here with,

We find his killer.

Ryan: Very good, castle.

Esposito: Yeah, that makes a lot of sense.

Why are you acting surprised?

I don't know if it's important at all,

But all those chairs are tucked in, except for that one.

Except for that one there.

Yep, I noticed that, too.

On the way in, way before she did.

So, ned werner.

Perhaps ned was working late last night.

Maybe he saw something,

Or maybe he's marcus' partner, an inside man.

Please, detective ryan.

Thank you, detective esposito.

After you boys.

Bryce: Hello?

Bryce, marcus is dead.

What the hell is going on?

Does this have anything to do with your client?

Hayley, I'm sorry.

I lied about everything.

There is no cheating husband, nor an angry wife.

What?