Fictitious Marriage (Nisuim Fiktiveem)

25.000

Tom Productions Presents:

A Michael Shrepstein film

"Fictious Marriage"

Be careful, Yoav

My turn.

Don't bother mom. Do you hear?

I will. -Do you hear?

I will bother mom. You will? I'll show you.

I'll bother you.

Shlomo Bar-Aba

Irit Sheleg

Ofra Vaingerten, Yosi Soia

Idit Teperson, Adiv Shagen Eli Yatzpan

Theme: Shmulik Kraus, Ya'acov Rotblit

Music: ltzhak Klepter

Photographer: Amnon Solomon

Hello, Sir.

Where are you from? Jerusalem.

Have you served in the army? Yes.

Are you carrying any weapons? No.

Did you receive any parcel? No.

You have no luggage?

No, none. Thank you.

Excuse me sir, is this your suitcase? No.

Girls, is this your suitcase?

Last call... flight to New York

Producer: Michael Sherfshtein.

Director: Haim Buzaglo.

Last call to flight 031 to New York

Last passengers report to gate 7. Thank you

8 calling 1, 8 calling 1 There's a missing passenger.

Check the terminal and delay the plane.

Looking for a good hotel?

I've got one for you, California.

Something cheap, nice and good.

Part one, three, one, good. One, two, three, part.

Forward, backward, part, front,

side, watch it, three, four. Good, forward,

don't quit. Don't quit, 1, 2, 3, forward, plier, relever

Excuse me, please. Forward, plier.

forward, watch it, don't break.

Legs, 3, legs, harder.

part, one, two Excuse me, please.

Hi. Hi.

A little workout. Great.

Yes, what can I do for you?

I'd like a room, please. A room?

Let me check.

For how long? -I haven't decided yet.

OK. Let me know by tomorrow. It's for the record. -Fine.

Alright, it can be arranged.

I'll just give you a form.

Form, form, form...

Form. Do you happen to have a pen?

No, I forgot it.

How do you pay? Credit cards?

Are dollars alright? -Green dollars?

Yes. Completely green.

Yes, dollars are fine.

Please. -Mr. Eli. OK.

Bashir. - Hi. - Hi.

Please show the gentleman to room 1 8.

OK. Fine. This way please.

Any luggage? No, I don't have any.

You'll never see the hotel dirty.

Life, all the time is great here.

You see no carpet here? Will be.

We'll fill the place up.

It's a little far. We're nearly there.

Seek you'll find! Walk! and you'll arrive!

You speak Arabic? -Yes.

Right. Keep well, whatever, welcome.

This picture for example, you see?

We take care to put up pictures.

There's a couch to sit on, read something.

Please, this is the room.

If you want shower, here it is.

You push a little and it opens.

Towels are here, and there's hot water.

To your left, the toilet.

Yes, that's the bed.

It's very comfortable.

If you want, it's also a double.

Here we put a picture of The Wall.

Of what? -The Wall... where you pray.

Oh, Jerusalem, yes. -Yes.

From here you see the sea.

Where's the sea? -Behind the house.

Behind the house?

Thank you. -Thank you very much.

If you need anything, you call me, Bashir,

and I come. OK? See you.

That's for you.

Eldad Nathan,

13 Mordehai St.

Jerusalem. The bastard's from Jerusalem.

A teacher. Place of work: High school, near the University.

Married plus 2.

E. Eldad, Eldad, Eldad.

How many times have I told you to grease this?

Eldad, Abuzaglo...? Eshri?

Hi. -Hi, how are you?

You want to sit down? -Yes.

Please come sit here, OK.

D'you know what? Maybe you sit there.

Maybe over here, it's better here.

Please.

That's because of the sun, you feel it?

Yes. -Get a tan.

You like to eat something? -Yes.

I'd like something light to eat.

The waitress will come in a minute. -OK. Fine.

Hi. -Hi, how are you?

I see that you do everything here.

Sort of. In the season we keep a staff.

But now it's a little quiet.

What do you feel like eating? -I'd like something...

Brunch? That's what you eat there.

There? Where? -ln America.

In America? Brunch, right, yes.

Fine, fine. Whatever. I trust you. -OK? -OK.

Is everything alright? -Yes, fine.

Here's the Jerusalem Post.

The Jerusalem Post? Yes.

OK. Fine.

Any other guests in the hotel?

The three of us. You, her, and me.

Bashir. The occupancy has dropped,

but in the season we have charters.

Have what? -Charters You don't know?

The Crusaders They come to pray here.

The Crusaders come here? I see.

But thank God.

Nehama, I'm going.

Where can I reach you later on?

In the cafeteria at the Forensic Lab.

Want anything? A sandwich, please.

A leg, kidneys, liver, lungs?

Whatever?

Pickles and stuff.

A near hit! Nehama! -Yes.

If my wife phones, tell her that I got the chickens.

OK. Bye.

I see that you've missed home.

Why? How do you know? By the oranges.

The first thing an lsraeli does,

he goes after an orange.

Really? Is everyone like that?

Have you eaten? -No, thank you.

I'm learning at home from casettes.

Have you ever been to America? -No, No.

But I'll get there. -Sure.

Someone's at reception. You want it?

Bon Appetit, Mr. Eli. -Thank you.

Say, Bashir, do you remember Ruchik?

The short one who used to work here?

Yeah, I remember. Anyway,

she caught an lsraeli emigrant. Believe me she's playing it big.

She's got a Mexican maid,

a limousine with a chauffeur,

jacuzzi on each floor.

Her whole house is General Electric.

Milionnaire, huh? -Toaster oven, microwave,

Maxi Mixer, food processor,

dish washer, disk jocking, perculator,

vibrator, you just name it.

Vibrator? -The thing. that makes juice.

Watch it.

Say, Bashir,

do you think that he likes me?

Who? -Eli, the American.

Don't know...what can I say? But be careful.

Anyway, if you fall, Bashir is here.

Let's go upstairs.

Let me help you.

Now you remember? When I faint?

I've got a feeling that I'll make it, just like Ruchik. -Go ahead.

Hi. -Hello there.

You can speak French if you want to.

Speak French? -lf you want to.

If you have a good line. -But I don't know any French.

Oh! So Hebrew, too.

How are you? -Fine, thank you.

I should be in New York right now. -What?

I should be in New York... -Oh, yes.

And... never mind. -Why?

No, I'm too confused.

The weather is good here. -Yes, it is.

It's nice here, but...

But it's a bloody country.

Makes no sense, and has no solution.

So how do you cope? What do you do?

You do the simple and usual things.

Hi, Judi. -Hi! You did some shopping.

I went for a walk, bought some things.

Are you having a good time in lsrael?

Yes. Very much.

Have you been to the new promenade?

By the sea? -Yes. -Yeah, real nice.