Darkwing Duck

3, 2, 1!

Let's get dangerous.

Darkwing, Darkwing... Duck!

Look out!

Let's get dangerous.

This is the city.

It could be any city. It could be your city,

but it's not. It's my city!

For I am the Terror that Flaps in the Night.

I am the fingernail that scrapes the blackboard of your soul!

And, most importantly,

I am the owner of Mallard Gardens

with two hotels on it. Ha!

Yeah, yeah, yeah, huh.

Nothing like playing a friendly parlor game with a loved one

and reducing them to poverty, bankruptcy, and utter humiliation.

Yeah, I know what you mean, Dad.

By the way, I own Mallard Gardens,

and those are my hotels.

Oh.

Oh, don't worry, Dad. There's gotta be a game you can beat me at.

I think we've covered them all,

except for the Swahili edition of Trivial Trivia!

You don't even speak Swahili.

Of course, I don't either, but at least we're starting off even.

I'll get it from your closet.

Uh, no, dad. I'll go get it. I, uh, I-I know just where it is.

Launchpad, how's it goin'?

Ehh, well, I'm just about finished cleaning your room,

but I'm, uh, not too sure about your homework.

Hey, those were the stakes and I won the game, fair and square.

Yeah, but how was I to know you spoke Swahili?

Ooo, all right, I'll help.

You will? Ha-ha, boy, you sure are swell.

Hey, what are friends for?

Boy, here's one that's got my propellers spinning. Heh!

How do you spell... yipes!

Yipes? That's easy. Y-i-p-e... yipes!

For extra credit, why don't you spell it in Swahili?

Ah, wha, why, Dad, I, ulb, I didn't hear you come in!

Well, I heard you.

And you ought to be ashamed using a friend like this.

In fact, you ought to be grounded for...oh, let's say...

My alarm terminal!

Phew! Saved by the bell.

High tech-arama. What is it?

My new crime-fighting apparatus...

The Darkwing remote alarm terminal.

Right now, using a series of strategically placed sensors,

it has detected a crime in progress.

Where?

Oooo, I knew there was something I left out!

Eh, thank goodness we live in the age of instant communication.

This is KRYM... all crime all the time, with a special bulletin.

The botanical research lab on Fleegle Street has been broken into.

And now back to our regularly scheduled program,

America's Funniest Misdemeanors.

Hey, wait for me!

Uh!

Where do you think you're going?

To solve crimes, strike terror into the hearts of evildoers,

and maybe scarf a burger?

Forget it. Zero possibility.

You're grounded until you learn your lesson.

Friendship is a two-way street.

You don't use friends, you help them.

Right.

Lemme get this straight.

I shouldn't use friends.

I should help them.

'Cause it's a two-way street.

Wait a minute.

Fleegle Street is a two-way street,

and Dad and Launchpad are friends.

Hey! That means I should help them!

Do I learn my lessons fast or what?

So, the world thinks I'm a monster, uh? Heh-heh.

A horrible, ugly, mutant, plant monster. Heh-heh-heh!

Well, as soon as formula IQ2U is perfected,

I won't be alone. Hee-hee-hee!

One teensy, tiny little drop

and any vegetation will mutate into an intelligent plant...

like me.

Spike, the final ingredient... plutonium plant plasma.

Spike!

The plasma... fetch the plasma!

And be careful.

Plutonium plant plasma is the world's most powerful growth hormone.

Aaaaaahhh!

Now there's only one thing left to do...

Cackle madly! Ha-ha-ha!

Yif!

I am the Terror that Flaps in the Night!

I am the spinach that sticks to your teeth!

I am Darkwing Duck... and where did everyone go?

Uh, maybe you need to work on a shorter intro, D.W.

Maybe somebody needs a shorter pet fly trap.

Peek-a-boo, Broccoli Brain!

Remind me to prune you when we get home.

Prepare to suck weed killer!

Time for a little tree action, huh, Spike.

Sorry, Bushbrain, but there are no trees in here!

Whoa, now that's what I call little tree action!

Cut that...ow! That hurts!

Ow!

Oof!

As soon as we get home,

you're going on a diet.

Oh, no! My precious formula!

Got you now, you vile veg-head.

Whew, phew! Looks like I got here just in time.

Dad's in trouble.

Don't worry! I'll rescue you!

Gosalyn? I thought I told you...

Aah! Whoa!

Oof!

Um, ahh...thanks for the rescue, whoever you are.

Now come on, Spike. We've got work to do.

Great. We'll never catch Bushroot now!

I thought you were in trouble. I was just trying to help a friend.

I'm not your friend, I'm your father!

Now, come on. You've got work to do.

Just think. One drop of formula IQ2U

and this simple hedge will be as intelligent as a duck!

At last, I'll have a real friend, a soulmate!

Fwend!

Oh, then again, I might end up with

a hungry, drooling lump of slime.

Blaah!

Gosalyn?

I thought I told you to clean up the mess in your room!

Aah! You are the mess in your room!

Cool, huh? Wait'll the kids in school see me.

Or maybe not. You're not going anywhere.

until we find out what happened to you.

I'll write a note saying you can't go to school

because you're a gelatinous glob of algae.

On second thought, I'll say you've got bubonic plague.

Heh, it's more believable.

When you're done taking pictures,

can I get a couple of 8 x 10s for my wall?

This is not a camera.

It's my state-of-the-art computer and slimy matter analyzer.

Aha! According to this,

her genetic structure has metamorphosed

into a photosynthetic primordial atomic structure.

Haam.. what does that mean, D.W.?

it means she's an extraordinary mess of goo.

And she's going to get even bigger if we don't find a cure.

Urp!

Whoops!

This electronic disperser

will separate her slime molecules from her duck molecules, and

voila!

Did separation occur?

Uh, yeah, you might say that.

Get them, Launchpad. If they escape,

we'll never get Gosalyn back to normal.

Hey, come back here, young lady!

Whoa!

Whoa!

Keen gear.

Let's do it again.

That's the remote signal from my crime monitor!

Ah-ha! Another evildoer's doing evil somewhere in St. canard!

Where?

I knew you were going to ask me that,

but this time I'm ready.

All I have to do is simply measure the distance of quadrant a,

divide by the time of day,

count backwards from the initial alarm...

Multiply the hypotenuse by the square root of the city's population.

Subtracting for out-of-town visitors, of course...

What was that?

Huh, it's just the evening paper, D.W.

"Plant doc invades St. Canard nursery"!

Someone's broken into the St. Canard nursery?

Oh, those poor babies!

Not that kind of nursery, Launchpad,

A plant nursery!

Come on, L.P., this time Bushroot won't get away.

Uh, you'd better come with Daddy, Honey.

This plant food and fertilizer ought to do the trick.

Oh, Hedgie, I've got your snack!

Hedgie! Uh-buh, Hedgie!

Where are you?

Er, yoo-hoo!

Yoo-hoo, Hedgie! Yoo-hoo!

Yoo-hoo to you, too!

Hmm, Hedgie's voice is developing a familiar tone.

How odd!

Not as odd as you, Fertilizer Face.