Elmer Gantry

Anyway, this guy comes home, you see,

- and he finds his wife with his best friend. - Yeah.

And the husband says, "Harry, how could you do this?"

And the wife, she says, "Why should you complain?

"Harry didn't do it to you!"

What did I tell you? Is he a card or is he a card?

Class. Real class.

Oh, with his gift of gab he could really go places with our outfit.

Hey, pal, you ought to quit that punk job of yours.

Yeah. Why don't you hook up with a livewire sales outfit like ours?

Oh, it's no use, boys.

Every time I'm in town,

I ask him to go on the road for our company.

Right, pal?

- Sure, Ed, sure. Listen, fellas, listen. - Yeah.

- Two dames at a bar. See? - Yeah.

And one dame says to another,

"If I don't get to bed pretty soon,

"I'm goin' home and go to sleep!"

Would you make it a merry Christmas for some poor orphan?

- Someone that... - Here you are, lady. Here you are.

That ought not to be allowed in a place like this.

Yeah. Religion don't belong in any speakeasy.

I know it's Christmas, but after all...

Mac, wait a minute. Excuse me, sister.

Excuse me. Excuse me.

Now, don't tell me we're gonna let these two little angels of mercy

go away from here empty-handed on Christmas Eve.

This joint is the home of fine bourbon and fast women,

and we need plenty of religion to keep 'em both in line.

So, come on, folks. How about it?

Get it up, now. Come on.

Oh, come on. A little action here.

Well, what's the matter?

Hey!

Hey, Lord? Can you hear me up there, Jesus?

You didn't think we'd forget your birthday, did you, boy?

There you are, Jesus.

And if I had any more, you'd be welcome to it.

Thank you, brother.

The Bible says, "Never let your left hand

"know what your right hand is doing."

What's your beef, mister?

You ashamed of bein' a Christian?

Oh, I see.

You think religion is for suckers and easy marks and mollycoddles, huh?

You think Jesus was some kind of a sissy, eh?

Well, let me tell you,

Jesus wouldn't be afraid to walk into this joint

or any other speakeasy to preach the Gospel.

Jesus had guts!

He wasn't afraid of the whole Roman army.

Think that quarterback's hot stuff?

Well, let me tell you,

Jesus would have made the best little all-American quarterback

in history of football.

Jesus was a real fighter.

The best little scrapper, pound-for-pound, you ever saw.

And why, gentlemen?

Love, gentlemen.

Jesus had love in both fists.

And what is love?

Love is the morning and the evening star

that shines on the cradle of the babe.

Hear ye, sinners!

Love is the inspiration of poets and philosophers.

Love is the voice of music.

I'm talkin' about divine love, not carnal love.

That was a beautiful sermon, Parson.

- Beautiful, beautiful. - Thank you, sister.

That reminds me, I gotta get home to the little woman.

- Yeah, me, too. - Here you are, sister.

- Merry Christmas. - Thank you very much.

Thank the Lord, sister. Thank the Lord.

Well, gotta go. So long.

- Gotta catch a rattler. - Me, too.

Time to take up a little female companionship.

Wait a minute now.

That's a swell preacher act you got there, pal.

See you next Christmas, pal.

I gotta catch a rattler in the morning myself.

So long, pal.

Ed, we still got the whole night ahead of us.

Whatever you do, never lose that little black address book.

Merry Christmas!

Mr. Gantry?

And a Merry Christmas to you, too, sir.

You'll have to chalk it up, Mac.

The rest of these drinks, too.

Charity.

I ought to get myself a tambourine.

That's the trouble with this stinking world.

Nobody loves nobody.

Mac, the lady's glass is empty.

Yeah?

Okay.

Long-distance phone call, Mr. Gantry.

What time is it?

The phone call you put through to Mrs. Gantry last night?

Oh, oh. Oh, yeah, thanks.

Merry Christmas, Mr. Gantry.

You, too.

And a happy New Year, Mr. Gantry.

Well, I'll take... I'll take care of you downstairs.

Get my bags out now.

Hello? Hello?

Ready with your call, Mr. Gantry.

Hello? Oh, hello, Mom. Merry Christmas.

Me, Elm!

Just a sec, Mom.

I just got back from church myself.

I prayed for you, too.

How'd you like my present?

You sure? Gee, that's funny.

Well, maybe it got held up in the holiday rush.

I just called up to wish you Merry Christmas, that's all.

To tell you I love you.

Don't start crying.

Ma...

I know I promised, but I couldn't get away.

I've been busy. Yeah, business.

Guaranteed and delivered. I'll be home next Easter.

My absolute promise.

Ma, don't cry.

Look, Ma, I gotta go.

I really gotta go, Ma. I gotta catch a train.

Sure. Sure. I'll talk to you. Take care.

Bye.

I'm on my way

Off to Canaan land

I'm on my way

Off to Canaan land

I'm on my way

Off to Canaan land

I'm on my way

Glory, hallelujah

I'm on my way

- Well, I'm on my way - I'm on my way

Off to Canaan land

Off to Canaan land

I'm on my way

Off to Canaan land

Off to Canaan land

I'm on my way

Off to Canaan land

I'm on my way

Glory, hallelujah

I'm on my way

Had a mighty hard time

But I'm on my way

Had a mighty hard time

But I'm on my way

It's a mighty hard climb

But I'm on my way

On my way

Glory, hallelujah

I'm on my way

All along the way

Satan lies a-waitin'

Every night and day

Satan lies a-waitin'

Hear me shout and say

"Get behind me, Satan!"

"Get behind me, Satan"

I'm on my way

Glory, hallelujah

I'm on my way

Fight the devil and pray

Fight the devil and pray

Take another step higher

Higher, higher

Fight the devil and pray

Lord, I want to climb higher

Higher, higher

Chase the devil away

Lord, I'm caught in his fire!

I'm on my way

Glory, hallelujah

I'm on my way

Lord, I'm on my way

Lord, I'm on my way

Lord, Lord

Lord, I'm on my way

I'm on my way

Mr. Gantry, you'd better get at this while it's still hot.

Thank you, brother.

Would you look at this filthy magazine, Reverend?

Shameful. Shameful.

Burn, ye naked Jezebel, burn.

Like a blindin' flash.

"And suddenly there shined round about him a light from heaven,

"and he heard a voice say unto him..."

"Saul. Saul."

"Why persecutest thou me?"

Saul of Tarsus.

Acts, Chapter 9.

"And straightaway he preached.

"Christ is the son of God."

"And all who heard him were amazed."

"Amazed."