Joey

And strike three!

So unrealistic!

Derek Jeter doesn't strike out on three curve balls in a row.

Do you know that the laws of physics suggest that

curve ball is actually impossible.

Why do you have to ruin stuff like that?

"A curve ball is impossible. "

"Don't eat that, it's solid mold. "

"That's not a dog, it's a possum! Stop letting it lick your face!" Why?

Okay, I gotta get to school.

Dude, let me let you in on a little secret.

You don't live with your mom anymore.

You don't have to go to school.

Stay here. We'll have fun.

I really have to finish some work.

So? You can work here.

There's a comfy couch.

A lamp.

Pens.

What else do you need?

A Cray T-3E 1200 Super-computer.

The lamp has three settings.

Look, I don't have anyone to hang out with here.

Do you have to go to school every day?

Isn't the teacher ever sick or you get, like, a snow day or something?

There are not too many snow days in L.A.

Although it's funny you mention that,

'cause I'm studying a climate-change scenario right now,

where the polar ice caps melt...

Oh, just go!

I know I can beat you.

Ah... stee-rike!

This is a new low.

Did you break another piece off the wall?

It's just begging to be climbed!

I just want to drop off Michael's laundry.

I need to get back to the salon.

You're going in this late?

Yeah, my 1st client cacelled. God rest her soul.

I was hoping you could stay.

I was thinking maybe we could hang out.

Why, is something wrong?

I don't know.

I mean, I like L.A. and all, but

being between projects and not knowing that many people yet,

I'm kind of lonely.

How are you supposed to make friends as an adult?

Have you met anybody nice in the building?

Well, there actually is this one guy, Jake.

He lives across the courtyard. He seems really cool.

Well, have you talked to him?

Kinda, yeah.

I've run into him a couple times by the mailboxes.

He's always going out to play basketball with his friends.

Man, if I knew him, I could play ball with them, too.

Assuming they also suck.

So why don't you be friends with him?

Yeah, why don't I just catch a rainbow and put it in my pocket?

Oh, come on, it should be easy for you:

it's like picking up a girl.

How do you do that?

I don't know.

I kinda go into a zone, you know.

I just start talking to a girl, and next thing I know,

I'm sneaking out of her appartement.

Hey, maybe and Michael should have a party. Like a house warming.

Invite the whole buiding. Have Jake come.

Yeah!

That's a great idea.

I can call Jake right now.

I know from the mailboxes that his last name is Morgan.

Huh? More than just a hat rack, Gina.

Okay, Morgan, Morgan...

Shoot, there's, like, ten "J. Morgans. "

If only I knew his address.

Ah! There's a guy with the same address as me!

Right! Got it. I'm on it.

You hear that?

That might be, Jake. Should I go talk t him?

Go, Joey. Go grab your rainbow.

Jake! Jake! Jake!

Hey, what's up, man?

Joey, right?

Well, my friends call me J-Bird.

Anyway, my roomate and I are having a little party this Thursday for everyone in the building.

Yeah, sure. I'll stop by.

Awesome, you won't be sorry. The J-Bird throws a great party.

Why do I keep calling myself that?

Hold it together, J-Bird.

- Hey, Joey. - Hey.

You don't say hello to me?

Oh! I didn't even see you there. Hello! Hello!

Your skin is so beautiful.

- Enough. - Okay.

So, listen, I know you're having a party tonight,

so I just wanted to drop off a list of rules about noise and parking and stuff.

You know're invited, right?

Oh Okay!

Oh, hey, Alex.

Hi, Michael!

Who were you on the phone with?

Did you ever meet Seth from college?

Was he the home-school kid with the glasses

or the asian kid allergic to light?

I don't think you ever met him. He's this super-competitive guy.

He just called to gloat about this fellowhip he won...

like I haven't already read about it in the American Journal of Astrophysics.

By the way, can we please get some new magazinesfor the bathroom?

I mentioned the party to him, thinking he's never gonna come.

Not only is he coming now,

he wants to bring his girlfriend.

So?

You don't understand.

If Seth has a girlfriend, it means...

Oh god, it means I'm the last guy from my group of friends that has no serious relationship.

Even after the allergic-to-light guy?

Arthur Trang does all right.

I mean, if you tell a girl

"We have to sit here in the dark or I'll die"...

Stuff happens.

That is going right in the arsenal.

God, I'm so sick of Seth beating me all the time.

You know what it's like to have someone who's like but

just a little bit better?

Yeah! Johnny Depp!

I don't even wantc to go tonight.

What?!

This is our party.

The whole reason to have it was to do something together.

I thought this party was for Jake.

That's right! Jake is coming!

You know what?

You need a girlfriend tonight?

I don't know this Seth guy.

I'll be your girlfriend.

Okay, Mom, no!

What, we could be a couple!

Aren't we a cute couple?

People go to jail for things like that.

Serously, mom, stop!

You don't think I'm sexy enough?

I mean, cone on, this is the body of a 22-year-old.

- I mean, look how tight my... - Please stop!

What did you say?

Well, first of all, "Oh, so tight... "

And I could do it.

You'd really do that for me?

Yeah, I could be your girlfriend.

I mean, after all, my hkfband's out of town. I could use a date.

Alex, you're a married woman.

Is that really appropriate?

You know the word "appropriate"?

Well, um, Alex, I mean...

if-if you'd come with me tonight,

I-I-I-I'd really appreciate that.

Big step down but whatever!

Hey!

Your girlfriend's here!

Oh, is what you're wearing?

I just thought you were gonna show a little more skin.

Well, sometimes, what you don't see is sexier.

Ah! Only women think that.

No, I'm sorry. You look great.

I'm just... I'm a little nervous about tonight, that's all.

I mean, if we blow this Seth... he'll never let me hear the end of it.

Okay, my middle name is Julia.

- I grew up in... - Actually...

I had some thoughts about you backstory.

My backstory?

Veronica Rockafeller.

Neuro-surgeon/bikini model.

I'm sorry. Am I not good enough for you?

No!

For believability, please lower your age to 30.

Right...

I'm 28!

Hey, guys!

Could you not stand by the door when Jake comes in.

I don't want you two to be the first two people he sees.

Come on.

- Hi. - No, no, no, no.

In you go, in you go.

Seth.

Sorry I'm late I had a congratulatory phone call from Stephen Awking.

An honor, sure, but just...

This is my girlfriend Molly Wintall.

Hi. This is my girlfriend Alex Garrett.

I diddn't know you were seeing anyone.

How long have you guys been together?

Uh...

Well, it's hard to say, in a way,

because, for a long time, he didn't want to be exclusive.

This dog's gotta run!

But I guess we've together about three months.

We've been together five. That's two months more. 61 days.

1464 hours.

- 87,840 minutes! - 87,840 minutes!

How could you?

What?

First you break up with me, and then you show up here with this tramp?!