Being Erica

Previously on "Being Erica":

You've built an impressive business.

Might just be time to take the money and run.

50/50 is not for sale.

Sam! Okay, you're killing me, what is it?

I'm pregnant.

You seem different. Softer, I think.

Warmer.

I tried to find you in 2019

and I can't, Erica.

Nine years from now,

something awful is gonna happen here in the city.

Okay, we're alone.

You don't have to act like last night didn't happen.

I mean do you wanna be with me or not?

I've wanted you since the first day I met you.

Erica, I just wanna tell you I think that Adam's an idiot

for letting you go. Seriously.

Kai!

Erica!

What is it? Are you okay?

Okay, Erica, as much as I love being on a test-drive with you,

I, uh, think we have to get back to work

at some point today.

Mmm!

What is it the two of you do anyway?

Uh, we run a publishing company.

Shut up!

Me? I'm an aspiring author.

Who isn't?

Julianne...

No, no. I'm serious.

I sell cars by day,

and by night, I write.

Oh. Oh!

Erica, I think you have a voicemail.

- Really? - Yeah, it's probably just Ray-Ray stalking us.

Do you want me to check it?

I actually synched Erica's phone already.

So all you gotta do is press that button right there

- and say the magic words. You have voicemail.

Call voicemail. Hmm!

Calling voicemail.

Hey, gorgeous. Ah, just confirming tonight.

I'll see you at 9:00, and don't be late.

Who was that?

Oh, you know, it was just...

It was just someone.

Someone who?

Um...

It's a secret.

A secret?

Since when do you keep secrets?

Since now.

Okay, time for the coolest feature.

Let's park between those two cars.

What, right there?!

That's... That's a little bit tight.

I kinda... kinda suck at parallel parking.

Trust me, so do I.

Which is why the Focus...

Can parallel park itself!

Huh? - No way!

Way!

All you gotta do is press the park assist button

and drive ahead.

Now you'll hear a ding

when the car finds its sweet spot.

There we go.

Now, let go of the steering wheel

and this baby will ease into the spot all on its own.

What?

Pretty neat, eh?

So let me tell you about my book.

It's called "The Secret Life of a Salesman."

It's kinda like "Death of a Salesman"

Only funny.

That sounds interesting.

Oh yeah. Best-seller in the making.

I'd love to send you the manuscript.

But first, madame,

I need you to put this car in park.

Yay!

So high-tech!

Jason Knight.

Lovely meeting both of you.

Consider the car-- great fuel economy--

and, hey, consider the pitch--

we all have secret lives.

Even you, it seems.

Secrets, they say, are all revealed in time.

Most of us know this;

That almost all secrets have a way of getting out...

Eventually.

Thanks, Jason. The secret lives of book publishers.

Maybe there's a book in that.

Being Erica 04x08 "Please, Please Tell Me Know" Original air date: November 14, 2011.

So was the guy's voice more baritone,

or was it more tenor?

I don't know! I heard it for 10 seconds.

Well, I won't be able to get a wink of sleep tonight

unless I find who this mystery man is.

Well, I'm sorry I asked,

but Erica was pleading the fifth, so...

Mmm... since when do you take no for an answer?

Um, hello? Hypocrite.

I mean, how can I grill her,

when you and me are... You know.

Having hot, crazy sex behind her back?

Well, yes, that.

Jules, we've been together for weeks now.

I, for one, would like to start shouting it

from the rooftops.

Well, uh, Erica's my business partner,

and, I mean, I'm sleeping with one of our two employees.

It's just not gonna go over well, so...

Oh, see, oh, oh, oh...

- Hey, you two! - Hey!

What's with the pow-wow?

No! No pow-wow. We were... we were...

We were just drooling over your new wheels.

Oh.

I call shotgun

on the first spin around the block.

Well, you might have to wait on that.

I mean, I want a car and I need a car,

but it's just...

It's a big purchase.

Where's Rachel?

Uh, she went home with the flu.

It was like "The Exorcist" in here,

minus the spinning head.

Eek.

Good morning! 50/50.

E-Strange, how's it hanging?

Scott. This is unexpected.

Julie-Jack in the house?

Put me on speaker, I wanna speak to 51 and 52.

Okay, you're on with both of us.

So, what's up?

Your fortunes,

as I'm sure Brent has told you.

Howdy, BK.

Hello, Scott.

Listen, the Rock has put our focus on the dudes,

and while we've enjoyed some success,

I gotta admit,

our slate has become too much of a sausage fest.

Okay, how does that affect us?

I'm glad you asked.

Word on the street is 50/50 is cornering the estro-market.

You got some primo women's titles in the pipeline.

Well, the Rock wants a pie of your pie.

Scott--

Now, look, before you say no,

why don't you pop by this week and hear me out.

You open your kimonos, I'll open mine.

You might just like what you see.

Yeah, we'll noodle on that, Scott.

Sure thing.

And although my noodle is long, it is not patient.

Later.

Bye.

Okay, so if you can't bankrupt the competition,

you might as well buy them?

Dream on, Scott.

Anyways, um, I'm gonna go next door

and join Sam and Lenin.

Her baby's overdue

and she's kinda getting a little stir crazy.

So I'll be back in 20 minutes.

Is that cool?

- Of course! - Great!

...Some things that you can do

and there's certain things that I can do.

Are you seriously...

Hey, guys.

Your sister's here. Can we just stop, please?

Stop what?

Nonothing, nothing. How are you?

Oh, good.

Why nothing? Is it a secret?

Are you asking me to keep this a secret

from my sister?

No, no, I'm not asking you to do anything, Sam.

I'm just trying to be supportive

because you're very grumpy

and, uh, I recognize I have no idea

what it's like to be pregnant.

Bingo! You don't.

By the way, patronizing me?

Not the same as being supportive.

Uh, well, I've attended every midwife appointment,

I've read all the pregnancy books,

I have supported your decision to have a home water birth

at your mother's house.

You know what? I'm just gonna leave you guys.

No, no, no. You're not leaving.

- Here. Just... - Okay, okay, I got it.

You wanna support me? Supporting me would be--