Two Rabbits (2 Coelhos)

Subtitle By 4H5@N

I always wanted

to be many things.

A doctor...

...astronaut...

...a diver.

To start a band,

be a hugely successful Latin music star...

Create a blog...

that I'd sell a year later for a million dollars.

To adopt a stray dog,

paint a picture, learn Spanish...

“Yo no hablo espanhol pero me encanta Rio”.

To invest in the stock market...

Start a campaign against land mines...

and cluster bombs.

Write a book...

A book?

No. A movie script?

Start a revolution, be a Che!

Or maybe not...

while in doubt, I enjoy my favorite pastimes...

...pornography...

...and video games.

Or, if you prefer,

videogames and pornography.

“KICKING ASS IN MIAMI BEACH"

I have just come back from a short time abroad.

I spent two years there.

It was fun.

But it was time to come back.

And now that I'm back...

I've just found a purpose...

...a path...

...mission to accomplish.

It's Edgar.

Hey, What's up?

A long time ago, in a galaxy far away...

...I had a bright future.

I always had a connection to electronic stuff.

It started with remote controls...

Atari, Odyssey, Master System,

then MSX, 286, 386.

I was the family genius, a big nerd.

When I was in college...

while my friends were drowning in booze and women...

I practiced things that were absolutely useless.

Then, my first job.

Say... What are you doing this weekend?

Well... ...let's just say that.

I felt a certain incompatibility with the corporate world.

Good morning. So, is everything ready?

Wait a minute. Fuck me!!!

You call this shit a layout?

And a certain difficulty to cope with critics.

“My boss”.

"Me."

People called him the bomb-man!

He is an evil visionary!

He asked me to tie him up and slap him also...

I like his insanity a little bit.

Asshole! Douche!

He's an antichrist! Liar!

A loser, loser. Totally a loser!

They even said he was a faggot, I don't know.

I'm out of it...

A guy like that has no plan for his life?

I do have a plan.

A fucked up plan, to be honest, but it is a plan.

- What's up? - How are you, kid? You're back?

Yeah, I guess.

So, Ching-Ling brought my stuff?

Let's go there.

Ching, you've got a customer.

How are you?

Your toy!

Open it. I'm curious to see.

Look at this beauty.

I'll tell you.

- Hold this. - Okay.

Now, walk that way.

Go ahead.

Right there, it's ok!

Now, come slowly...

What is this, man?

This one...

...when it gets near to this one...

It discharges an electric current,

a proximity sensor.

And what are you doing with it?

What I'm gonna do?

My idea is quite simple: justice.

To kill two rabbits with just one blow.

“TWO RABBITS"

This plan has been dancing in my mind for quite a while-.

It was before I went to Miami.

But I perfected it there.

I just need some sort of a click,

to find that last piece of the puzzle and see the whole picture.

Hey, you! Punk!

You moron!

Retarded!

Nice to meet you. My name is Edgar.

Wake up, man! Give me your watch. Hurry up, you ass!

You wanna die? Wanna be shot at? In the head? That's it.

Where's the money? I said money! You call this money?

Give me your money, come one! What is that thing over there?

- My cell phone. - Give me that.

- What else do you have? What else? - Nothing.

Nothing? Have a nice day, pal.

Shit! I was mugged!

What if he'd get a shot off? It could've been fun.

What could I have done for him to shoot me?

What if I did this?

Or this?

Oh! FON FON, the teddy bear.

You fucking vagabonds!

Hey, D’Artagnan. Wake up. Come eat something.

Man, drop that fucking magazine and come eat something.

I'm coming, bro.

- Come on! - Just a second, man.

- Mrs. Te. I'm here. - Come on in.

I've brought food for the guys.

It's all there.

At least the food, I'm starving.

You don't work And you wanna eat?

Maicon called.

He said it's all good. Business is up.

- So? - Uncle Maicon's words: close shop.

- Close shop? - God knows what he means.

This is Bola, aka Carioca. He's Maicon's right hand man.

Who's Maicon? I'll tell you later.

The right question now is: what are these guys doing...

looking at the Persian carpet in their living room?

Take the carpet up. Come on, hurry.

Take her, guys.

This is Miss Puhn.

P + U + H + N

But, why is Miss Puhn buried alive in this fethid hole?

It was because of her mother Mrs. Célia, or Mrs. Puhn.

P + U + H + N

Bling, Bling! Bling, bling! The Geush Brothers!

Mrs. Celia is a trusted employee of the Geush Twins...

who got rich with a cheap TV auction show.

Mrs. Celia is particularly close to Sasha...

The oldest and the gayest of them.

So, it happens that Sasha besides trusting Miss. Celia

her love affair secrets,

trusted also the company's vault secret.

And it was exactly that secret that ended up placing Miss. Celia and her daughter

in that, let's say, difficult situation.

Now you have your money, where's my daughter?

Where's my daughter?

Easy, easy!

Gimme the glasses!

Fucking coward.

You've shit your pants.

Fuck!

Answer the fucking door!

Everybody quiet!

Hands on your heads, come on!

Easy, man! There's a child here.

Shut the fuck up!

What's this?

Where's Maicon in all this shit?

Wait, wait, it's not the time to reveal who Maicon is.

Later...

DISTRICT ATTORNEY'S OFFICE

I need 144, please.

I think it's December if I'm not mistaken.

Thank you.

Julia?

- How are you? - Hi, Rodrigues.

- I'm fine. You? - Where did you have lunch?

In that new Indian restaurant down the street.

Is the Indian good?

- It's okay. - I know, very spicy stuff.

- Shoot, say it. - I'm gonna have to transfer you.

Internal affairs.

They're pressing for an administrative investigation.

It's come from the top.

But why?

They've found evidence against the Maicon guy's gang.

We've been after him for 3 years. Now things will be tough for him.

We've linked him to the jewelry robbery, the Jew's case...

At least eight homicides, armed robbery, kidnapping and more.

That's okay by me. If they want it like that, it's their call.

Nobody doubts your honesty...

but many people are annoyed by this whole story.

Who else will be transferred with me?

I don't know yet. But I'll keep you posted.

Okay.

Hi, hi, it's me.

Things got ugly here. Yeah, come here, now.

No, come here, now. I'm not waiting.

We must see him, alright?

Okay, we.

Julia thinks she's dying, but she isn't.

She's just having a panic attack.

Julia loves the sea...