Gravity Falls

I just ate a bag of cheese boodles

without using my hands.

Lazy Tuesday, you are delivering in a big way.

Yeah, it's nice to finally have a day

where nothing interesting happens whatsoever.

Everyone get down!

Don't let it taste human flesh.

- What is it? - Can we keep it?

Kill it, kill it!

Patience.

Gotcha!

Great. Now get it outta here.

Smells like if death could barf.

Great-unkle Ford, need any help with that?

I've read all about these creatures in your journal,

- and I think I know how to-- - No!

I'm sorry, Dipper.

On the dark, weird road I travel,

I'm afraid you cannot follow.

Well, call me for dinner.

Maybe next time then? Or not.

Or never.

Oh, Dipper, don't take it so hard.

No, do take it hard.

Take it hard and serious.

My brother is a dangerous know-it-all

and the stuff he's messing with is even worse.

Do yourself a favor and stay away from him, you hear me?

But Grunkle Stan, all summer long,

I've wanted to know who the author of the journal was.

Now the guy lives in our basement,

and I can't even talk to him.

Don't worry about what's on the basement.

- You belong up here with me and Mabel. - Yeah!

Besides, the season finale of Duck-tective is airing this Friday.

That's all the mystery you need this week.

Come on, quack with us, Dipper.

Quack, quack, quack.

Yeah. Quack, quack, quack.

Quack, quack, quack!

Why isn't he quacking?

Dear Mom and Dad,

we've been in Gravity Falls for a few months,

and so much has happened.

Just yesterday, gravity reversed itself,

almost destroying the universe,

and totally wrecking the whole town.

Well they say it was an earthquake,

but you know what I think?

I think I'm gonna have to start serving

pineapple right-side up cake.

Am I right?

Am I right?

Let the rebuilding of the town begin.

Wrecking ball, start wrecking things.

But he coolest part of the summer

was when Grunkle Stan's twin brother

came out of this portal thingy

Now we have two grunkles for the price of one.

And they are adorable together.

"We love each other so much!"

Mabel, you'll never guess what I found

at the store today.

Dogs. Dogs with hats!

No. It's my favorite fantasy-talking, level-counting,

statistics and graph-paper involving game of all time:

Dungeons, Dungeons, and More Dungeons!

You wanna play it with me?

Well, I do like unicorns,

and that hot elf looks promising.

- How do you play? - The rules are simple.

First, you roll a 38-sided die

to determine the level of each player's

statistical analysis power orb.

These orbs relate directly to the amount of quadrants

that your team has dominion over,

which is inverse to the anti-quadrants

in your quadrant satchel.

And then we ride unicorns?

Yes!

And no.

First, we make a graph.

This is like Homework the Game.

Come on, Mabel. I need at least two people to play.

Oh, wow, would you look at that?

Two people.

Hey, Soos, up for a little game of D & D & More D?

Sorry, Dipper, I don't go in for

that pen-and-paper kinda stuff.

- I'm more of an FCLORP-er. - A what?

FCLORP.

Foam & Cardboard Legitimate Outdoor Role Playing.

It is where a passionate brethren of craftsmen

bring their dreams to magical reality.

Let yon priestess go, Elf Mage.

Never, Paladin Radmaster.

Fireball, fireball, fireball.

I'm a fortress.

Well, thanks anyways, Soos.

Say, is this that game that's mostly math and writing

and isn't anything like the picture on the box?

Yes, it is! You wanna play with me, Grunkle Stan?

Ha! Look, kid, I prefer to do my dice rolling in Vegas.

Besides, only a game designed by nerds

would have "Charisma" as a fantasy power.

Check this out.

"When facing yon adversaries,

shield thyself under an elfan buttress."

Ha ha, say it again.

Buttress.

Hey, laugh all you want.

You guys just aren't smart enough to understand it.

Sorry, dude, but it is kinda nerdy.

Well, I'm off to lay siege to a goblin fortress.

To my grandma's backyard!

Oh, nice, you rolled a 17.

And this is sad.

Maybe I should start obsessing over Wendy again.

Hey, give it back.

Come on, Gompers. Let go.

Oh, man, my 38-sided die!

Dipper, stop!

Great-uncle Ford.

What did I say about coming down here?

My work is far too dangerous for a single living soul

to spend even one second--

Wait. Is that a 38-sided die

from Dungeons, Dungeons, And More Dungeons?

Yeah. You know that game?

With pen and paper, shield and sword...

...our quest shall be our sweet reward!

This is my favorite game in the whole multi-verse.

I can't believe they still make it.

They do, and I've been looking all day

for someone to play with me.

My boy, do you know what this means?

We must stop everything I've been working on at once,

and play!

That's going to leave a mark.

Okay, I think we've got everything we need to watch

the season finale of Duck-tective tomorrow.

I even made mouth ramps

so we can pour food into our mouths

without taking our eyes off the screen.

And I recreated the main character

out of some spare taxidermy parts.

Quack, quack, I'm the duck detective.

Who stole my bread loaf?

That is so messed up.

Dipper would love that.

Yeah, where is the little squirt anyway?

I haven't seen him all afternoon.

All right, you enter the chamber.

Princess Unattainabelle beckons you.

But wait, it's a trap.

An illusion cast by Probabilitor the Annoying.

You know his weakness, right?

Prime statistical anomalies over 37

but not exceeding 51.

Yes! In your face,

you cardboard wizard.

Hmm, the old boy looks a bit different

than he did back in my day.

Yeah, they change the art every few years.

Thankfully, you missed the period

when the creators of the game tried to make it "cooler."

Man, this game is boring.

You dare challenge Probabilitizzle?

...updated for the nine double-deuce!

- Available wherever dope games are sold. - Peace!

Must've been dark times, those '90s.

Sounds like a good time to be stuck between dimensions.

Great-uncle Ford, I've been meaning to ask you.

Where were you before you came out of that machine,

and what have you been doing down here?

Are you working on something behind that curtain?

Dipper, it's best if you and the family

stay away from that subject.

Honestly, I'm not sure any of you could handle the real answer.

- But-but I could handle it. - Ah!

But I can show you a little something

I brought back with me.

An infinity-sided die.

That's so cool... and impossible.

These things are outlawed in 9,000 dimensions.

You wanna know why? Look at those symbols.

Infinite sides means infinite outcomes.

If I rolled it, anything could happen.

Our faces could melt into jelly.

The world could turn into an egg.

Or you could just roll an eight. Who knows?

That's why I have to keep it in this protective cheap plastic case.

Now, back to the game.

You've got Probabilitor on the ropes.

Oh, man.

And then, if I had a drag in here, and then a plus-three--

Dipper, are you gonna go to sleep?

You've been saying dork words for hours.

Sorry, Mabel. I gotta finish this dungeon.

It's gonna totally stump Great-uncle Ford tomorrow.