Darkwing Duck

3, 2, 1!

Let's get dangerous.

Darkwing, Darkwing... Duck!

Look out!

Let's get dangerous.

There are 1,000 stories in the City of St. Canard.

Some are mundane, some exotic,

some stranger than others,

but one thing remains the same...

I'm in all the good ones.

I could use a good story.

Gosalyn!

Aren't you supposed to be home... in bed?

Couldn't sleep. Come on, Dad...

tell me a story.

It'll help me relax.

Oh, since it is educational.

This story is a tale of courage and derring-do.

I call it...

I want to relax, not go comatose.

How about something a little more interesting,

like...

Uh, do we have to be that interesting?

Yes, that wasn't one

of my f-f-favorite cases.

I don't know what you're upset about.

It was just a curse of a haunted Jack-in-the-Box!

It started when my cheapskate dad

copped out on a trip to Whirling Water World

and took us to the museum instead.

Hey, do you know what admission prices are now?

Now Gosalyn, see here. You should be happy.

You love toys!

They're not toys. They're relics!

This one doesn't even have batteries.

Look with your eyes, not with your hands.

I don't need you breaking any of these antiques.

It's bad enough we have to worry about

Quackerjack stealing them.

Ahem. I knew he was there the whole time.

Who's telling the story?

As usual, Dad wasn't taking time out from crime-fighting

to have any fun. That's where I come in.

Whoa, I'm impressed! A first edition electrozapper joy buzzer!

Perfect!

Isn't this where all the trouble started?

I was trying to get Dad to lighten up.

Huh?

What?

Ooh! Yes, yes!

Gee, that wasn't very nice.

Oh, Dad loves a good practical joke!

Practical jokes! Yes!

Don't worry, Dad! I'll get you down!

Oh-whoa-whoa-whoa whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa

whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa!

Oops.

Well, I guess I got him down, all right.

Mama!

Mama!

Oh, tasty! Yum yum yum yum!

Aren't you a little big to play with dolls?

Aah!

Gosalyn,

I do not appreciate being embarrassed!

I just wanted to get your mind off your work.

It's time you had a little fun!

Let's hit the arcade and play some video games.

Video games?

You're leaving to play video games?

It's just that sort of talk that drove me

out of the toy business and into the looney bin!

Yep! This guy's nuttier

than a bag of cashews, and it's playtime!

Ooh... who's this? Who's this?

Hold it right there, Quackerjack!

Tennis, anyone?

Gee, I'd ask you guys to play,

but...hee-hee-hee-ha-ha... you're all tied up!

Where's a phone booth when you need one?

Having a ball, are we?

Simply scrumptious!

You know? This case was a lot funnier than I remembered it!

Yeah, Dad was pretty goofy!

I was merely protecting my secret identity

and giving the clown a false sense of security.

Yeah, right.

Hey, well, anyway we can skip over the next part.

What? You will not!

This is the good part where I trounce that looney Quackerjack!

Yeah, yeah. Dad did his Darkwing

"for I am the yo-yo that keeps coming back" or something.

Wait! Wait! Wait! Wait!

Why are you going so fast?

Nice curve ball, D.W.

Would you please stop going so fast?

Slow down! Slow down!

Okay.

Not here!

Aah!

Oh, goody, goody, goody, goody, goody!

Now this is when it started getting really weird.

Aren't...aren't you relaxed now, Gos? It's awful late.

The thing in the box seemed to feed off of

every mean-spirited joke.

You know, you're missing a great rerun of Pelican's Island.

Whatever it was, it was getting stronger, and stronger...

You're not gonna stop, are ya?

And stronger, until...

Well, now here's a childhood favorite...

Wacky putty, for that extra sticky fun!

Uh, what hit me?

See ya on the playground!

Woo-hoo-hah-hah-haaah!

Get this stuff off of me!

I'm trying!

Hoo-hoo-hah-hah-hah! Hoo-hoo-hah-hah-hah!

You're a riot, Darkwing!

You and the doll guy

should team up for a stooge act! Heh-heh-heh!

Hey, you're killing them, D.W.!

Maybe you should consider showbiz!

I'll keep that in mind.

Quackerjack thought he was safe...

But he was wrong!

So that's why it was chained.

Ohh, it's broken!

Oh, well, I should be working on my own toys.

They're much better.

Hoo-hoo-hoo! Hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!

Mmm... yes!

Free at last!

Ooh, yes! This will do nicely!

Quackerjack, you insane genius!

You've created the perfect doll...

to make little girls scream!

In delight, of course. Hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!

Will you play with me?

Mr. Banana Brain, your voice has changed.

I like it!

Nice flying trick, too!

Please play with me.

Well, just name your game, partner.

Ooh! Ooh! How about my global destruction bingo?

Or perhaps you'd prefer my demolition derby game?

Oh, say, we could use our neighbor's new car!

Oh, we could do something much more fun.

Uh, heh, heh, heh. Yeah. Uh-huh, uh-huh.

Ooh, yes!

This is perfect!

This is just the place to tie on the old feed bag!

Eat, eat, eat. That's all you talk about!

Do you know what pizza can do to your complexion?

Oh, I don't eat... pizza.

Allow me.

- What goes up... - Aah!

must cause frowns.

Heh, heh, heh, heh! Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!

Hmmph!

But... but Melinda!

Mmm, delicious...

the sweet honey of human suffering.

Boo!

Aah!

Yey, heh, heh, heh, heh, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!

Oh, hoo, hoo, hoo! Like they say,

"the apple doesn't fall far from the tree."

This goony doll is as goofy as me!

Yaaa!

Hee, hee, hee, hee, hee, hee, hee, hee, hee!

Ha, ha! Ha, ha, ha, ha!

- Waa, waa! Waa, waa! - Ha, ha, ha, ha!

Well, when do I get to have some fun?

Heh, heh, heh! Well, how about now?

It's about time you took me to a decent restaurant.

Huh?

All right!

Food fight!

Gee, you think this might be a job for Darkwing Duck?

Launchpad, Launchpad, Launchpad.

Darkwing Duck has better things to do

than get involved in a silly food fight!

Now that it's gotten personal... charge!

Quackerjack?

Oh, you were expecting maybe

the Gulping Gourmet?

When did you switch

from playthings to pizza?

Oh, you know me. Game for anything!

Well, I'll put a stop to your food fetish,

you fickle felon!

He has such a way with words!