Texas Death Trippin'

Welcome to the Texas death trippin movie. I'm stoner Jesus and we should get

this out of the way now. You are all going to hell.

Seriously, this step is pretty messed up. Enjoy the movie.

Hope Texas can handle all this. High-fructose corn syrup.

- You are leaving your breakfast. - I have no time need to meet Muppet.

What's up motherfucker!

- Heeey. - Great, how are you doing?

Good.

What's up? I gotta go?

Are you ready?

Greatest trippin in Houston to ever grace the beautiful state of fucking Texas.

Lets get it.

I can't stand him. I mean I hate everyone,

but he's the worst. Fuck Sid you gotta

be kidding me. It's... don't tell me it's...

Andy!!

Hello my brother? Captain my captain.

How is the swing gentlemen?

And why are you two

another tight pot somewhere?

So check it out, I pulled up the big score.

It's an ass. Nice.

Wait, let me see.

Yeah that's a naked booty.

Yep and it's attached to my trip date.

She asked our

fucking Internet and cosplay sensation.

Has over a million followers. Oh wow.

An online model so rare so lucky you are.

I'm gonna be knee-deep in vagina hole while

you're pulling on your joystick bud.

What's up? Left up here.

GPS says we are close. All right.

Don't worry bud, things get bad.

- I'll let you blow me. - Thanks you're the best.

Welcome to the love van. Your chariot awaits.

You guys look like you just played Rock Paper Scissors to see who gets to seduces me.

Basically.

- Don't just stare at it. - Okay.

Oh, I hope you guys don't mind. I told my girl Teresa. She can come along?

What's up bitches.

May I say,

- I got damn dream another in person. - Yeah Randy. Yeah yeah.

Actually it's Andy.

Do you guys want to smoke a joint?

Dude, she said.

Texas woo-ow.

Fuck it.

So Sheena, like Joe average that follows you

gets to see your ass on the daily, right.

Does that mean your premium followers

get to see your butt-hole? And how exactly does that work? Excuse you.

Wow this dude is trippin.

I'm sorry hot chicks, I'm just curious.

And I get really horny when I get stoned.

- We all do. - Oh my god.

Me too. Hashtag oh my God.

- Oh my God. - Holy shit Andy has a double burner.

This rules.

Oh my god.

Who is driving?

So basically, my lnstagram blew up about a year ago and, then I got into modeling.

And that's all I do full-time now. Don't worry I'm good.

Looks like your joint knocks you on your ass a little bit.

Did you doze off? Andy, are you all right?

Are you kidding me right now baby model.

ANDY!! ARE YOU OKAY?

Are you okay, Andy?

Are you ready to party or what?

I got something to the festival.

Woow!

Look at that. What we do.

Your homie is a fun guy.

Most people get the ship's from shrimps. Just saying.

Goddamn it, told you never talk to that scumbag again.

Rodriguez trash cooter.

Damn straight betrayal. I heard he got

this girl pregnant at my old school.

He's cool. It just come back.

So the Muppet comes to me for some candy.

Yeah. I figured you knew where to score

some shrooms. Shut the fuck up pretty boy.

Hear that? That's the sound of adventure.

This will definitely make the trip trippier.

- You want a bump for the roll? - No thanks.

Malkey. No no dear. Today you are here. Glad you are alive!

What's going on here?

Trying to wrap up something kinki.. It looks kind of yam.

- All right, Kelly, I'm supervising drug point. - Drugs? You mean like typods.

Are you serious?

- Wow, you are such a good story teller. - Yes

Don't be filling up on processed bullshit now guys. We are going to the first

spot that's close so we can camp for the night. Now, I'm making my famous bowl chilly.

Where the fuck are we? A small town called... Dark Marsh.

40 miles outside of Galveston.

On your way to Houston.

Google Maps ain't got shit on that.

You know who's the creep a pocketbook.

These are fucking drugs.

Who the fuck are you? God! Don't you understand.

Let me out of this.

Let me go the fuck out of here.

Who the fuck are you?

Do you know me motherfucker?

Your fucking freak show.

What the fuck.

Fuck.

You fucking pussy, if I get the fucking out

of this damn ties, I'll beat you with that fucking hammer.

Fuck. I just want to be a little...

Look down, what the fuck are you looking at.

Move.

You.

You are my favourite.

Come on, get me up. Running out of fucking time.

Where the hell are you going sweethearts?

Fucking about time you let me out.

Fucking let me out of here.

We are fucking short of time. Come on. Come on.

Shut the fuck up!

Quite! Damn it. Shut the fuck up.

Well boy there's a handful out there.

I wouldn't have marked it for you.

It's a really nice blunt treat. Go get it. Go get somebody ass.

I got it here. We are under good control.

It's a really good time.

Oh yeah.

What the fuck was that all about dude?

That creep was right. There have been a

bunch of missing people in this area.

Not even that creepy dirty old Buchan is

gonna stop us from going to the best stoner rock festival to ever grace the

state of Texas.

Hey guys, I got a video call from Wayne.

Hey Wayne,

What's up cool dudes.

God damn this blue berry..

What's up?

So you fuckers ready for the stoner festival or what bro? Check me out.

Am already Burning man. Dude it's like freakin Coachella over here. Do you have

light in my bong Bro?

Tomorrow can't come with enough. Sorry brothers got to

put on the stunner shades man. I can't see my haters bro. Actually I'm just

trying to hide how stoned I am. I got a job interview in like an hour.

But dude it's gonna be fucking sick bro trust me right lump it.

Okay, first of all,

where the fuck are you guys? Why does this look so creepy as shit? This looks

like what attack Bundy's murders. Like somebody what do you guys do together?

Are you guys like out camping and shit?

What is this some sort of Medicine

retreat filming fellas?

Yeah. We just found a cool place to stop and have some

beers and then make my famous chilly for the night.

Yeah. It's a couple of towns

outside of the festival. I think. Sorry guys, taking a piss but

that's fucking weird bro.

You know, shit I can dig it dude.

I can do it and you know what dude,

fuck you Sidwell chili astray bud.

Oh my God.

Am pissing myself, shit.

Fuck.

Aah shit. Guys, don't get you fucked up tonight, okay.

We got a long day tomorrow bro.

And listen, I'll see you stony bronies tomorrow around noon. I'm gonna

be that five Buster sure food posted.

Listen, you know there is bass player Deanna.

I heard he can roll a joint in five seconds one hand dude.

Dude I totally said that earlier.

Actually Andy you said and I quote,

"I've heard he could roll a

joint in under five seconds."

After I said Buffalo bud Buster would be playing.

Like Dino in the rest of the band aren't Buffalo bud buster.

Like buffalo bud Buster is like, a giant human buffalo hybrid that just calls

himself that.

Has a band and can roll joints really fast. Poser.

Weird.