More Than Only

Justin (voice Over): My Father wanted only two things. Straight A's and a straight son.

These were the two non-negotiables in our relationship

Standard by which all decisions must be made.

Any deviation was quickly corrected.

My father never had to say a word

I learned quickly that I was not to express my... socially unacepatable traits.

Despite the fact I still felt compelled to share them,

So, I started to write. I wrote down everything.

I also learned, if I was to keep my father on my side. And, eventually just his wallet.

My first arranged date, I was 15.

I'm sure the enamored look I wore was a sure sign of hope

I never told them it wasn't the girl that had captured my attention.

Although I could never grow one on my face. Finding a beard for every dance and social event was a simple enough task.

All I asked for in return was to be popular. And to carry the reputation of a proud, but maybe a little handsy philanderer.

As soon as I graduated, I couldn't wait to get out.

I moved far enough away I was out of sight. But not far enough from the financial support.

Justin: I'm telling you man, with the right take off pattern I can clear ten feet easy this time.

Mark: If you need to take a break from studying, please go run the track, recite a sonet in the commons, go to the shower and jack off. but do not jump out that window.

Justin: Aww, you do care.

Mark: No, I don't. I just don't want to have to take you to the hospital - Again. I have a physics midterm tomorrow and some of us need to study.

Justin: Mark, if you don't stop studdying for like a minute.

The molecules in your brain are going to start racing away from each other.

Till your brain matter literally expands beyond the cranial cavity

Justin: And (popping noise) All over the walls.

Justin: Who's gonna clean that up, Mark? We both know that's your thing.

Justin: And how are we going to get rid of the body? My dad's rich, but not that rich.

Justin: I'm just gonna have to grind your body up into hot dog paste. Feed it to the students on meal plan.

Mark: You are seriously disgusting. No wonder people are afraid of you.

Justin: they're just jelous of me.

Justin: (into phone) Justin Johnson

Greg Johnson: Studying?

Justin: Right now.

Greg Johnson: Staying out of trouble?

Justin: Of Course.

Greg Johnson: Keeping your nose clean.

Justin: Sparking sir.

Greg Johnson: Watch it.

Justin: I'm sorry... Sir.

Greg Johnson: I'd hate to have to cut you off Justin.

Justin: I know you would.

Greg Johnson: Straight A's. Not a question.

Justin: As always, Sir.

Greg Johnson: And the other?

Justin: Under control.

Greg Johnson: It better be, Justin.

Justin: I won't let you down.

Greg Johnson: I know you won't.

Greg Johnson: Studying.

Justin: Right now.

Justin: Finals in six weeks.

Greg Johnson: I'll call back.

Justin: Talk then.

Justin: Good night... (Greg hangs up phone)

Mark: Justin.

Justin: As I was Saying. My parents support and encourage my journey of the soul.

Mark: I'm pretty sure your soul doesn't reside in your pants. Since that is the only part of you that has had any journey.

Justin: I can't help it if I'm irresistable.

Mark: Well, you and your sould need to get out of here so I can study and you can go find yourself.

Justin: No soul finders tonight.

Justin: And I don't feel like flying solo.

Mark: Aww. Did you finally develop carpel tunel. I warned you.

Justin: (laughs) I know. And I appriciate all the times you tried to step in as a pinch hitter.

Justin: But your grip on the bat... Not so good for a home run slugger.

Mark: Asshole. Get out of here.

Justin: By your command.

Justin: My fellow countrymen.

Student: Shut up Justin.

Justin: It is with great regret and a heavy heart I must inform you that I will travel to a far away place tonight to satisfy my... soul.

Student: Do it already!

Justin: a place where only those with the highest of intelect!

Mark: Questionable.

Justin: Superior Looks!

Mark: Now I now your talking about me!

Justin: And an unwavering thirst, to find the human soul!

Mark: Or, a descent piece of ass.

Justin: Or a descent piece of ass. Thank you Sire, Tobin.

Justin: And so, I travel to the great unknown.

Student: Jump already and put us out of our misery.

Justin: What a world. What a cruel, cruel, cruel world.

Justin: I added that third cruel to avoid plagerism.

Mark: How thoughtful.

Student below: Jump! Jump! Jump! Jump!

Justin: The people have spoken Sire Tobin. I must take my leave of you now.

Justin: (Jumping out window - grunting noise)

Justin: (Laughing at his sucess)

Justin: (Screaming while falling)

Justin: (Grunts w/thud hitting the ground)

Justin: (Calling out from below) Sire Tobin!

Justin: I do believe I will be needing the services of your noble steed this night.

Mark: Are you shitting me?

Justin: I am most definately not shitting you sir.

Justin: I do feel the pain of a thousand seering suns burning my leg but good.

Mark: Goddammit, Shit. You know, this is why freshman year lotteries for roommates is a bad idea.

Justin: Your college experience would have been so dull wihtout me.

Mark: Stay there. I'll be right down.

Justin: Where would I go?

Mark: Asshole!

Justin (Voice Over) OK, so I don't write everything down. Sometimes I just out of a window.

Justin (Voice Over) Sometimes I laugh when I should cry.

Justin (Voice Over) like Heilein says, "We laugh because it's the only thing that will keep it from hurting"

Justin (Voice Over): Well, that and pain killers.

Michael: Mr Johnson. You seem to have had an accident.

Justin: Justin. And who are you, Michael, RN? You Must be new?

Michael: No, I'm not new. I just drew the short straw.

Justin: Cute and cleaver. What a rare combination.

Michael: So what happened, Mr Johnson?

Justin: Mr. Johnson is my father's name. I think I'm a little young to be a Mister anybody, don't you?

Justin: You can call me Justin. I think we're pretty much the same age.

Michael: We're the exact same age actually. What happened?

Justin: Apparently they don't make tree limbs like they used to.

Justin. Wait. If were the same age, how do you get to be a nurse?

Justin: Doesn't that take like 12 years of college? or something?

Justin: Are you Doogie Howser?

Michael: Apparently you missed the common sense portion of the tree limb surfing class.

Michael: Doogie Howser is a fictional teenage doctor. I'm a real life nurse.

Michael: Skipped high school. Went to college at sixteen. graduated when I was 20.

Justin: wow, that's impressive. I didn't even know you could do that.

Michael: So, you jumped out of a window?

Michael: Into a tree.

Michael: And the limb broke.

Michael: Are you in any pain?

Justin: Just right here.

Michael: You're having chest pain?

Justin: My heart stops when you look at me.

Michael: Did you just quote a Lady Gaga song to me?

Justin: Katy Perry, dude. How do you not know that?

Michael: You say that like she's Judy Gardland.

Michael: Are you having any leg pain?

Justin: Nice deflection Michael, RN.

Justin. I took some T3 on the way over... So, I guess I'm like a six on the pain scale.

Michael: Should I be impressed or worried about your knowledge of our pain scale? Or the fact that you have T3 in stock.

Justin: I just seem to be accident prone.

Michael: Is that what we're calling it now?

Justin: I just miss you all so much.

Michael: Tough way to get friends.

Justin: I just figure it's easier than actually sending letters home.

Justin: Nothing says I Love you to the parentals, like a new Explaination of Benefits and an ER bill, right?

Justin: Mom gets confirmation of my wereabouts and dad gets assurance that I'm just being a guy and not a gay.

Michael: Justin. Mr. Johnson.

Justin: They can bring you into this world but they sure don't have to love you.

Michael: I'm..sorry.

Michael: (Clears throat) Gonna take you to Xray, make sure you don't have a break.

Justin: Another adventure. Another ER bill. Double the love coming their way.

Justin: You're welcome mom and dad!

Justin: There's no way

Brooke: Or Maybe he tried and it's still stuck up there.

Ben: That explains the constipated personality traits.

Justin: Ok, Screw you all. I'm gonna get another drink.

Justin: Oh my God, look who it is.

Brooke: Where?

Justin: Over by the piano.

Mark: Aw, Shit.

Mark: It's the nurse from the ER.

Brooke: There are a lot of nurses in an ER, Mark.

Mark: I bet your medical record is a few encyclopedias deep.

Ben: He's probably got a picture on a poster in the med room that says, "Beware of horny gay man!"

Justin: You know what. I'll have you all know, I am not that desperate.

Justin: Most of the time I'm not that desperate. He's just particularly cute.

Brooke: Ok, and which ER visit is this one from?

Mark: Jumped!

Justin: So cute! and he plays piano!

Ben: Boom!

Brooke: See this is why we can't play poker. You've got no game face. Man up.

Justin: Whatever. You're already more man than the rest of us B.

Brooke: Damn Right!

Justin: no, you want this one.

Brooke: Come on!

Mark: Nurse, Justin.

Justin: Shut up.

Justin: Michael, RN

Michael: You remembered my name.

Justin: I'm just really good with names is all.

Michael: Surprising, considering faces don't seem to be your primary focus.

Justin: Do you take requests?

Michael: Do you tip?

Justin: I might.

Michael: Then I might take a request.

Michael: It will be my final song of the night.

Justin: I wanna hear something that's gonnna get my body moving and show off my sexy dance moves.

Michael: K

Michael: I have a request for you all from...

Justin: Oh my God, Justin!

Michael: Oh my God Justin! He wishes to move his body for you all!

Michael: (Plays and sings) "You put your right hand in, you put your right hand out."

Michael: Aww. Come on everybody. He's gone shy - help him out.

Michael: You put your right hand in and you shake it all about.

Michael & Justin: You do the hokey pokey and you turn yourself around. That's what it's all about.

Justin: You do the Hooookey Pokey. You do the Ho-oy-oy-o-key Pokey

Justin: Come on Michael, RN - Big finish! That's what it's all about!

Crowd claps Justin: Thank you. Thank you so much.

Justin: Well played Michael, RN.

Justin: You know, I still don't know your last name.

Michael: No. No you don't.

Justin: Does that mean I have to beg?

Michael: I'd rather not have to watch.

Justin: So you will tell me your last name.

Michael: No.

Justin: They how am I going to track you down?

Michael: Are you the stalker type?

Justin: No. Just the interested type.