Parks and Recreation

OH, HEY, BEN.

HAVE YOU SEEN MY COMPLETE COLLECTION

OF ALL 193 NATIONAL FLAGS?

OH, HERE THEY ARE.

- WOW! - SO I'VE BEEN ASKED TO RUN

THIS YEAR'S MODEL U.N. AT PAWNEE CENTRAL HIGH SCHOOL.

ATTENDANCE HAS BEEN LOW,

AND IF I DON'T MAKE IT AWESOME, THEY MAY CANCEL IT.

I WONDER IF I'M GONNA MAKE IT AWESOME.

OR I COULD BE SOUTH KOREA. YOU COULD BE BANGLADESH.

WE COULD FORM LIKE A TRANS-ASIATIC ALLIANCE.

- I LIKE IT. AND I SEE THE MERITS OF IT.

I JUST WORRY IF WE'RE BOTH IN ASIA,

IT MIGHT LIMIT OUR SCOPE. - MM.

- I KINDA WANT TO ROLL UP MY SLEEVES

AND MAKE GEOPOLITICAL PROBLEM-SOLVING MY BITCH.

AMEN, BROTHER.

LET'S GO BACK TO PLAN "A." I'LL BE DENMARK, YOU BE PERU.

YES!

OH, I DIDN'T REALLY DO

MODEL UNITED NATIONS IN HIGH SCHOOL, SO...

OH, WAIT. I SUPER-DID.

- I NEED A FEW MORE VOLUNTEERS.

ANDY, WILL YOU BE ICELAND?

- THE BAD GUYS FROM MIGHTY DUCKS 2?

DON'T THINK SO. - OKAY, HOW ABOUT JAPAN?

- THE BAD GUYS FROM KARATE KID 2?

EVEN WORSE. HOW 'BOUT GERMANY?

THEY'VE NEVER BEEN THE BAD GUYS.

WHY DON'T YOU BE FINLAND?

- OKAY. - OKAY?

AND I'LL BE THE MOON.

- NO, YOU'RE GONNA BE SOUTH AFRICA OR...

PAKISTAN. - I'M THE MOON, OR I QUIT.

- APRIL. - MOON OR QUIT, MAN.

FINE. YOU BE SOUTH AFRICA,

AND THEN YOU CAN ALSO SECRETLY RUN THE MOON.

- THE MOON ACCEPTS YOUR RIDICULOUS PROPOSAL.

RON! YOU WANNA JOIN US?

LOOK! I'LL LET YOU BE AMERICA.

AND TEACH KIDS THAT NOT ONLY IS GOVERNMENT GOOD

BUT THAT THERE SHOULD BE A WORLD-WIDE SUPER-GOVERNMENT?

I'D RATHER SAND DOWN MY TOENAILS.

EVERY THREE WEEKS, I HAVE TO SAND DOWN MY TOENAILS.

THEY'RE TOO STRONG FOR CLIPPERS.

*

EXCUSE ME.

ARE YOU LESLIE KNOPE? OH, WHAT AM I TALKING ABOUT?

OF COURSE YOU ARE. - BONJOUR, MADAME AMBASSADEUR.

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR COMING

AND TRYING TO HELP SAVE OUR CLUB.

WE'RE SO EXCITED TO SEE

A TRUE PAWNEE MODEL U.N. LEGEND IN ACTION.

- THANK YOU. I REALLY WOULDN'T DESCRIBE MYSELF

AS A MODEL U.N. LEGEND.

I'D GO WITH ICON. OR HERO.

- LOOK, IF YOU ASK ME, ENRON IS DOWN BUT NOT OUT.

WHO DOESN'T LIKE A COMEBACK STORY?

ALL RIGHT, YOU WANNA HEAR MY PLAN, GET AT ME LATER.

I GOTTA MEET UP WITH AN OLD FRIEND.

ALL RIGHT, PEACE, MAN.

LET'S GO DO THIS LUNCH THING.

- I JUST HAVE ONE MORE QUICK INTERVIEW.

I'M STILL TRYING TO FIND YOUR REPLACEMENT.

THAT IS, UNLESS YOU WANT YOUR OLD JOB BACK.

- I TOLD YOU BEFORE, RONSEPH, I MOVED ON TO BIGGER THINGS.

E720 GOING UNDER WAS A BLESSING.

I'M TEARING IT UP ALL OVER TOWN LIKE A BOSS.

SOUNDS GREAT, TOMMY.

I'VE OFFERED TOM HIS JOB BACK SEVERAL TIMES,

AND EACH TIME HE'S TOLD ME HE'S JUST TOO BUSY

BEING AN ENTREPRENEUR.

THEN TWO DAYS AGO,

I SAW HIM SPRAYING COLOGNE SAMPLES AT MACY'S.

THE YOUNG MAN HAS A LOT OF PRIDE.

THIS ISN'T GONNA BE EASY.

ANN PERKINS.

- HEY, CHRIS, HOW'S IT GOING? - NOT GOOD.

CAN I TALK TO YOU? - OKAY.

- I'M NOT SURE IF YOU'RE AWARE,

BUT I AM ROMANTICALLY INVOLVED

WITH JERRY GERGICH'S SURPRISINGLY HOT DAUGHTER

MILLICENT GERGICH. - YEAH.

YOU WERE GRINDING WITH HER PRETTY HARD

AT APRIL'S HALLOWEEN PARTY.

- THAT'S CORRECT. ANYWAY, WE'VE BEEN ON FOUR DATES,

BUT NOW MILLICENT GERGICH

HASN'T RETURNED MY LAST TWO PHONE CALLS.

I THINK THE RELATIONSHIP MAY BE IN TROUBLE,

AND I DON'T KNOW WHY.

- WOW. A FOUR-DATE-LONG RELATIONSHIP

MIGHT NOT BE 100% PERFECT?

I THINK YOU SHOULD LAUNCH A FULL-SCALE INVESTIGATION.

- THE ROOT OF SARCASM IS TRUTH, ANN.

I AM GOING TO LAUNCH A FULL-SCALE INVESTIGATION.

AND I SINCERELY THANK YOU FOR THAT SUGGESTION.

- GLAD I COULD HELP IN THESE TRYING TIMES.

- SARCASM AGAIN!

YOU'RE A DELIGHT.

- YOU'VE ALL BEEN PREPARING FOR MONTHS

FOR THIS YEAR'S GEOPOLITICAL SCENARIO--

GLOBAL FOOD CRISIS.

SECURITY COUNCIL, WE NEED YOU TO LEAD US,

OR BILLIONS OF PEOPLE WILL STARVE TO DEATH.

BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY, HAVE FUN.

DUE TO MY CAMPAIGN,

THE ROMANTIC ASPECT OF OUR RELATIONSHIP IS OVER.

AND I'M TOTALLY FINE WITH THAT.

BUT BEN AND I HAVE SO MUCH IN COMMON.

I MEAN, WE'RE AMAZING FRIENDS.

AND FRIENDSHIP IS BETTER

BECAUSE FRIENDS HELP YOU MOVE.

THEY DRIVE YOU TO THE AIRPORT.

BOYFRIENDS JUST... LOVE YOU AND MARRY YOU.

- JERRY! I AM LAUNCHING A FULL-SCALE INVESTIGATION

INTO MY ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR DAUGHTER

MILLICENT GERGICH,

AND I THOUGHT I COULD PICK YOUR BRAIN.

- AW, JEEZ, I REALLY SHOULDN'T BE INVOLVED IN SOMETH--

- QUICK RECAP-- THINGS WERE GOING WONDERFULLY.

WE CLICKED ON AN EMOTIONAL LEVEL.

AND THEN SUDDENLY, I JUST STOPPED HEARING FROM HER.

NOW, YOU MUST KNOW HER PRETTY WELL--WHAT GIVES?

HERE'S WHAT I SAW GO DOWN.

- DONNA! YEAH! GET IN ON THIS.

YOU'RE TOO ACCESSIBLE.

EVERY TIME SHE CALLS, YOU ANSWER.

YOU GOTTA DANGLE THE CARROT,

LITERALLY AND METAPHORICALLY.

- THANK YOU, DONNA! - THANKS, DONNA.

SO...COURTNEY.

THIS SAYS YOU RETIRED IN 1968.

NO, NO, NO.

I WAS FIRED BECAUSE I MADE A PASS AT AN ETHNIC WOMAN.

- AND WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN DOING FOR THE LAST 43 YEARS?

- OH, YOU KNOW, HITCHHIKING AROUND.

I WENT TO MEXICO. I MET A LOT OF ETHNIC GIRLS.

THEY GROW ON TREES DOWN THERE.

I WAS IN JAIL FOR A SPELL...

THAT ABOUT BRINGS IT UP TO DATE.

- SOUNDS TO ME LIKE YOU'RE READY

TO GET BACK IN THE GAME, COURTNEY.

WE'LL BE IN TOUCH.

ANOTHER VERY STRONG CANDIDATE.

ARE YOU INSANE?

HE WAS A MILLION-YEAR-OLD RACIST!

- HE SAID HE LIKED ETHNIC GIRLS, TOM.

- I'M SORRY, RON, BUT I CREATED A LEGACY HERE,

AND I NEED TO MAKE SURE IT'S PROTECTED.

LET'S BRING IN SOME MORE PEOPLE.

IN MY FOUR YEARS HERE,

I REVOLUTIONIZED THE POSITION OF ADMINISTRATOR

AND MADE THIS PLACE COOL.

I WAS THE FIRST PERSON

TO ABBREVIATE PARKS AND RECREATION DEPARTMENT.

FIRST IT WAS PARKS AND RECREATION.

THEN PARKS AND REC.

THEN P AND R.

THEN LENGTHENED IT JUST A LITTLE BIT TO...

TOMMY'S PLACE.

- OKAY, WAIT A MINUTE. I THINK I HAVE IT.

WHAT IF WE DROPPED INTEREST RATES.

WOULD THAT HELP YOU? - MAYBE.

BUT WHAT IF BRAZIL AND ARGENTINA

USE THEIR OIL DEPOSITS AS COLLATERAL?

OH, THAT'S REALLY GOOD.

- UNDER-EXAGGERATE MUCH, FRANCE?

HA HA!

NICE!

HEY, LESLIE, YOU READY?

- OH! - OW.

- SORRY. - THAT'S OKAY.

- HI, WILLIAM. - HI. YOU READY?

- YES. ABSOLUTELY. UM...THEY WANT ME TO DO A PHOTO OP

FOR THE CAMPAIGN

SO I CAN BOLSTER MY EDUCATION CREDENTIALS.

CAN WE JUST PRESS PAUSE HERE? - HOW LONG IS IT GONNA TAKE?

I'M NOT REALLY SURE.

CAN YOU JUST TREAD WATER UNTIL I'M READY?

OH, SURE, YEAH.

I'LL JUST TREAD WATER UNTIL YOU'RE READY.

THANKS, BUDDY.

- LESLIE AND I AREN'T DATING ANYMORE,

BUT, UH, WE'RE FRIENDS.

SO IT'S FUN. IT'S JUST FUN.

IT'S FUN-- IT'S...FUN...

IT IS FUN.

THANKS A LOT.

YES!

HONEY! I JUST TRADED FINLAND'S MILITARY TO KENYA

FOR 50 LIONS.

THAT'S PRETTY GOOD, RIGHT?

- YEAH... - OKAY.

- BUT ALSO MILITARIES ARE PRETTY GOOD

AT PROTECTING COUNTRIES.

BUT SO ARE LIONS.

AND YOU DON'T HAVE TO PAY THEM.

THESE KIDS ARE IDIOTS.

I'VE JUST TRADED ALL OF FINLAND'S BORING STUFF

FOR EVERY OTHER COUNTRY'S LIONS?