Faking It

Previously on "Faking It"...

I'm Amy, walking pile of contradictions.

I'm transgender.

It doesn't change the way I feel about you.

She can set it to midnight New Year's Eve.

- Do you think she'll like it? - I know I'd melt

if I got something like this.

Does that mean you still want to find a girl to kiss?

I think I already found one.

Why didn't we do this at camp?

It's so much more fun than making friendship bracelets.

But not as much fun as dream catchers.

Mm.

Seriously, these past four days have been...

Thrilling?

Scary?

I was gonna go with magical.

Amy!

How many of your friends are coming

to our annual Ho-Ho-Ho-Holiday party tomorrow?

I need an accurate count for the gingerbread men.

Are you girls bringing dates?

Nope.

What about that adorable Felix?

I'm just not really interested in anyone right now.

You've been in a really good mood lately.

There's got to be someone.

Nope.

Not a one.

Hmm. Shame.

Well, get me that list.

Look,

I know you're not ready to come out

and I don't want to pressure you,

but I've learned that secret relationships

always blow up in your face

and I don't want this to blow up.

Me neither.

So you want to tell your mom?

And Karma.

She's my best friend.

I don't like lying to her.

She's just not exactly my biggest fan.

Who knows what she's gonna say about me?

Sabrina, there's nothing Karma can say

that'll come between us.

I promise.

Faking It (2014) - 03x09 - Ex-Posed

Sabrina is faking it.

That kiss at the diversity assembly: 100 % bogus.

Why would she do that?

Because I told her that she would never have

a connection with Amy the way that I do,

and she's trying to prove me wrong.

She's a psychopath.

Do you hear how crazy you sound?

That kiss looked pretty real to me.

At least help me warn her.

I mean, who knows what lies Sabrina's telling her

to suck her deeper into her web?

The thing is,

is I don't think Sabrina's faking it.

Sorry, Karma, you're on your own.

I've got to talk to you about Sabrina.

You go first.

All right, but you have to hear me out

without interrupting, okay?

Okay.

Sabrina has been questioning her sexuality.

A-and after the diversity assembly,

we kissed.

- Okay, but she is... - Zzt.

I really like her

and I know that you two don't get along,

but I'm really hoping that you're not gonna

trash her character

or try to talk me out of it.

What? I-I wasn't gonna do that.

You do have a history of sabotaging my relationships.

Yeah, but that was the old me.

I love you.

I just want you to be happy.

I am

so, so happy.

So what were you gonna tell me?

I don't even remember what it was.

Boy, I'm spacey today.

Yay!

Man, I am so tired. Late night.

Mm. So I heard.

I need coffee.

Where are your mugs?

Above you.

You can use any, except...

- Oops. - That one.

Okay. Time to go.

But my coffee?

Aw, your Uber's here, sorry.

- Where's Edie? - That's it.

No more one-night-stands traipsing through my place.

Hey, this is my apartment too.

Condo... And you don't pay rent.

- And neither do you. - Irrelevant.

The point is, this isn't a brothel.

Enough with the slut-shaming.

It isn't any less wrong when you do it to a guy.

No one-night-stands is a perfectly reasonable

- roommate rule. - If you're a monk.

Maybe if you put yourself out there,

you'd feel differently.

I'm sorry I don't have low standards

like you.

Do you know how hard it is

to find a handsome, athletic,

ambitious young Libertarian

who wears khakis that actually fit

and is comfortable with a strong woman?

The rule stands.

Wait. Maybe we should slow down.

Why?

You're Shane Harvey; you don't do slow.

Sure, I do.

Besides, I thought you would want to take it slow.

Hey, I don't want to take it slow,

unless you do.

Uh, it's no, then.

Full steam ahead, then.

- Right? - Yeah.

Uh, just not at this exact minute.

Right.

Of course not,

'cause our first time can't be in the band room.

Exactly.

We got to do this right.

- In a bed. - Yeah.

Just not tonight.

Uh, 'cause I have this holiday party.

Oh, yeah.

Uh, I have to study

for this big Reiki healing test.

- And that's super important. - Yes.

So, um, tomorrow night?

Great. Perfect.

It's a... sex date.

- It's a sex date. - Yeah.

I am so on to your twisted game, Sabrina.

And I'm giving you one chance to come clean to Amy yourself.

What are you talking about?

You're straight.

Heterosexual. Unqueer.

Typically, when you're dating a girl,

you're not straight.

Don't play innocent with me, you sick freak.

You're playing with Amy's emotions

just so you can push me out.

Interesting theory.

You should tell Amy about that yourself.

I'm sure you won't seem like a jealous nut-job

trying to sabotage our relationship.

While you're at it,

why don't you tell her that I'm the one that shot Kennedy

and Lincoln and Tupac?

You would love that, wouldn't you?

Looks like you're in a proverbial pickle.

Boo.

So have you, uh, sealed the deal with Noah?

- Not yet. - What?

It's been four days.

You got a groin injury or something?

No.

Not everyone's got to jump in bed

with everyone right away.

Okay, that does not sound like you.

What's going on?

Nothing's going on. There's nothing to discuss.

Not even if I really, really wanted to.

How's your sex life?

About to end.

Lauren said no more girls at the apartment

because she's lonely, bitter, and vindictive.

Just play matchmaker.

Once she's got her own love interest,

- she'll forget about yours. - Yeah, except I'll never find anyone

to meet her impossible standards.

It is an outrage that my beliefs

are being systematically repressed at Hester

just because I'm in a minority.

I already told you, Preston,

there's not enough interest in a Libertarian club.

You are the only Libertarian.

How would you even get a quorum?

Which is exactly why we need a club.

This isn't over, Penelope.

But I respect you as a powerful woman and adversary.

Hey, Preston, buddy.

What are you doing tonight?

Oh, you don't say?

This is the perfect opportunity

to tell my mom about us.

You want to tell her at a party?