The Star Wars Holiday Special

That's it I'm turning back.

I know your family's waiting.

I know it's an important day.

All right. We'll give it a try. I'll set short coordinates.

We won't jump far.

I'll get you back there in time, pal. Trust me.

Our only hope now, is to outrun that Imperial garbage scow, tho'. I'm going to lightspeed.

That's the spirit! You'll be celebrating Life Day before you know it!

Standby, here's where we say goodbye to our unpleasant friends.

A long time ago in a galaxy far far away...

The STAR WARS HOLIDAY SPECIAL

Starring Mark Hamill as Luke Skywalker.

Harrison Ford as Han Solo.

Carrie Fisher as Princess Leia.

With Anthony Daniels as C-3PO.

Peter Mayhew as Chewbacca.

R2-D2 as R2-D2.

And, James Earl Jones as the voice of Darth Vader.

Introducing Chewbacca's family,

His wife, Malla.

His father, Itchy.

His son, Lumpy.

With special guest stars

Beatrice Arthur.

Art Carney.

Diahann Carroll.

The Jefferson Starship.

Harvey Korman.

And an animated Star Wars story on...

The Star Wars Holiday Special.

YOU HAVE REACHED TRAFFIC CONTROL

NO STARSHIPS IN AREA

What's that?

Oh, Artoo, look. It's Chewbacca's family.

Here, keep working on it.

Hello Malla, Itchy.

Hiya Lumpy.

Where's Chewbacca?

Whoa, wait a minute! One at a time.

Yeah...

Not now, Artoo.

Uh, wait a minute, I don't like the looks of this. Let me get this fixed.

Oh, Artoo, you're supposed to be watching that...

There, that ought to hold it. I think.

What's up?

Chewbacca...

Yeah, well, bring him to the screen. I want to say hello to him.

You don't know where he is?

Oh, he's not there yet. Is that it?

Oh boy.

Well, all I can tell you is that, uh, he and Han left here on schedule.

If he's not there now, they're way overdue.

There must've been trouble.

Artoo, please, this is important.

Now, now listen. Calm down. I mean...

you know how Han and Chewbacca are. Anything

could've happened - they could've, they could've stopped off somewhere

or been held up by an asteroid storm.

Listen,

I wouldn't worry about Chewbacca, I know him and he hasn't missed a Life Day yet, right?

Well, there you go! He's not going to miss this one either.

It's just taking him a little bit longer to get there, that's all. He'll make it.

Come on, don't look so worried.

Now, Chewie's not gonna wanna come home to a house full of long faces, is he?

Come on, Malla. Let's see a little smile.

Come on...

There, that's better.

Try to enjoy your Life Day.

I gotta get back to this engine. I think we might have it solved.

OH! ARTOO! What are you doing?!

What are you doing?!

Oh no...

It's alright. Nobody's perfect.

SUB TERMINAL 446B

STANDBY

CONNECT

TRADING POST WOOKIEE PLANET C

Hello, an Imperial Guard.

I suppose you want to see my identification.

No, I'm off duty. I've come to look around your shop.

Well, good, good, good.

Look around, browse around, make yourself at home...

As you can see I've got just about everything a man or wookiee would want.

Oh here,

let me show you this; I really love this.

No...

Ah, here we are. Here it is.

A pocket sized aquarium.

Wonderful, isn't it?

And, you can take it with you anywhere.

And the tank is a snap to clean.

I hate fish.

Well, so do I, as a matter of fact.

I take a drink once and a while,

but I just thought I'd show you some of the stupid stuff those wookiees purchase from me.

Oh, here...

Here's a hot little item that seems to be moving pretty rapidly these days.

Excuse me, I got a wall screen customer.

Good to see you again.

Don't say a word Malla.

I know just why you're calling.

You're wondering when that shaggy carpet you ordered will arrive at your home.

Let me assure you madam, it's on its way.

You know, it was made especially for you by a little old woman four planets away.

She did it all by herself.

In fact, you might say she did it by Han... Solo.

Tho' it's going to take some time to get to you.

I know you'll understand.

You understand don't you?

Terrific!

By the way, I'll be by later to drop off that extra proton energy pack.

You're welcome.

What's a matter? Don't you like this?

It's just a groomer.

- Just a groomer? - A groomer.

Just a groomer, you say?

It's a lot more than that.

Evidently, you haven't read the instructions, the warranty, and the guarantee.

Besides shaving and hair trimming, it's guaranteed to lift stains off clothing, faces, and hands.

Cleans teeth, fingers, and toenails.

Washes eyes, pierces ears, calculates, modulates, and syncopates like rhythms

and can repeat the entire Imperial Penal Code, all 17 volumes,

in half the time of the old XP-21.

Just the thing to keep you squeaky clean.

I use one of these all the time.

Really?

Well, not all the time,

but some of the time.

Oh, another outstanding, uh, feature of this little model

you can recharge it by simply plugging it into any ordinary laser outlet.

I'll take it.

Good! I thought you would.

Well, would you like to pay me something

for it or give me something in trade?

I said I'll take it!

That's a load off my mind.

I thought I might embarrass you,

when I told you to accept it as a gift.

I don't like embarrassing people.

I don't like being embarrassed myself that's why I,

uh, don't like to embarrass people.

I just said that...

just a groomer...

We've ordered a blockade and a curfew.

And started a search operation.

It's just a matter of time before we find the Rebels.

I want the Rebels located and identified.

If it means searching every household in the system.

Hello...

Today we are going to be preparing a very succulent dish called "Bantha Surprise".

It's not only a very hearty, nourishing dish,

but it's very economical, too. So all those hungry mouths in your household will be going

"yummy yum for their tummy tum."

If you just follow along with me as I prepare this popular favorite.

Now, today

I'm going to be using the tenderest cut of the bantha: the loin.

The loin is very tasty and serves four nicely.

But, of course, if your family has a hearty appetite,

I would suggest then that old popular holiday favorite: The Bantha Rump.

Um, very tender.

Ah, we just slice into bite-sized pieces.

And only you know the size of a bite in your family!

Oh! Alright,

now it's time to put our chunks

into our pots.

Nicely... nicely...

Add a dash of negavo.

Umm, very good.

A sprig of celentery.

Umm, umm, just a bit of turshum, always nice.

And, uh. Um! Turshum is nice!

And, just a little whisper of chelchum.

Ah, looking very nice.

Guess what I forgot?

A bit of the calarantrum root!

Wonderful! Just adds that touch of piquancy.

Here we go.

Very nice. Um!

Now we add enough liquid to cover.

And guess what we're ready for now:

The cooking! Step one

we stir the mixture.

Stir, stir, stir, stir, stir, stir, stir,

stir, stir, stir, stir, very nice. Now, step two while we're stirring, we also whip.

So it's stir, whip, stir, whip, whip, whip, stir,

stir, whip, stir, whip, whip, whip, stir.

Now, let's try it again together at an increased tempo,

because precision is very important in this recipe

and we do want to have a fine consistency, don't we?

So, and on the count of one

stir, whip, stir, whip, whip, whip, stir, stir, whip, stir, whip, whip, whip, stir.

Come on, faster altogether now. Cooking can be fun.

Stir, whip, stir, whip, whip, whip, stir, stir, whip, stir, whip, whip, whip, stir.

Wah! Having fun, having fun, alright. Having it all nicely, now.

Step three we also have to beat.

So it's: beat, beat, beat, stir, whip, stir, whip, beat, beat, stir.

That's not right. I'm sorry.

Stir, whip, stir, whip, whip, whip, stir, beat, stir, whip, stir, whip, whip, whip, stir, beat.

Coming... coming along nicely. Mmmm, starting to have a fine aroma.

Whew, caught it just in time. Now at this time, I usually like to taste the broth.