Parks and Recreation

.

OKAY, RON, ENOUGH'S ENOUGH.

LET'S TALK PLANS FOR DIANE'S BABY SHOWER.

- DEAR GOD, WOMAN. - THREE MAIN ACTIVITIES--

BABY BINGO, BABY FOOD TASTING,

AND MY PERSONAL FAVORITE-- BABY ONESIE DECORATING STATION.

I'M GONNA MAKE MINE LOOK LIKE AN ASTRONAUT.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING UP THERE IN SPACE, BABY?

AH! SO CUTE! OKAY.

I HAVE SOME... LOOKING AT A VERY ADORABLE STROLLER.

WE ALREADY HAVE A STROLLER.

OH, SHOOT. REALLY?

I'M GONNA HAVE TO THINK OF SOMETHING ELSE.

OH, MY GOD, WHOSE BABY IS THAT?

THAT WOULD BE MINE.

- GUYS, GET IN HERE! RON HAS A BABY!

- OH, RON, COOL BABY. - THANK YOU, ANDREW.

EVERYONE, I'D LIKE TO INTRODUCE YOU

TO MY SON, JOHN MIDDLE NAME REDACTED SWANSON.

JOHN WAS BORN SOME TIME AGO,

WEIGHING MULTIPLE POUNDS AND SEVERAL OUNCES.

MUCH LIKE HIS FATHER, HE IS A FAN OF SILENCE.

PLEASE KEEP YOUR VOICES DOWN.

- HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KEEP MY VOICE DOWN

WHEN YOU HAD YOUR BABY,

AND YOU DIDN'T TELL ME THAT YOU HAD YOUR BABY?

- WHY WOULD YOU NEED TO KNOW SOMETHING LIKE THAT?

- WHY WOULD I-- OH, MY GOD.

I HAVE NOT EVEN SENT DIANE A GIFT.

SHE'S JUST WALKING AROUND,

WONDERING WHY I HAVEN'T SENT HER A GIFT YET.

SHOULD WE DO SOMETHING?

- JUST LET HER TIRE HERSELF OUT.

- IF YOU NEED ANYTHING FROM US, RON, PLEASE JUST LET US KNOW.

ACTUALLY THERE IS SOMETHING.

COULD ONE OF YOU PLEASE STOP BY THE PET STORE

AND PICK UP SOME FISH FOOD FOR ME?

WHEN DID YOU GET A FISH?

*

OKAY, YOUTH COMMITTEE.

UPDATE ON THE UNITY CONCERT. MADISON.

- SO FAR, 12 BANDS HAVE SAID YES.

AND WE ASKED THEM ALL TO SUBMIT A SONG

FOR THE NEW TOWN ANTHEM CONTEST.

- I THINK WE SHOULD BOOK ORIN AS A HEADLINER.

I THINK IT'S A NO-BRAINER.

UM, HE DISLOCATES HIS SHOULDER TO THE MUSIC OF BILLY JOEL.

THE PAWNEE JOURNAL CALLED IT,

"WHY WOULD ANYONE DO THIS?"

STOP SUGGESTING ORIN.

CRAIG, ANY UPDATE ON THE ART TENTS?

- 14 LOCAL ARTISTS HAVE SIGNED UP TO SHOW THEIR WORK.

IT WAS GOING TO BE 15, BUT THEN THIS ONE GUY

DESCRIBED HIMSELF AS "JACKSON POLLOCK-ESQUE"

AND I TOLD HIM THAT'S FINGER PAINTING FOR ADULTS

AND I HATE IT!

- THE PAWNEE-EAGLETON MERGER HAS MADE FOR A ROUGH YEAR,

BOTH FOR ME AND FOR THE TOWN.

BUT IF I CAN PULL OFF THIS UNITY CONCERT

AND PROVE THAT THIS MERGER WAS A SUCCESS,

PAWNEE MIGHT ONCE AGAIN TOLERATE-SLASH-IGNORE ME.

I KNOW THAT SOUNDS BAD, BUT FOR A POLITICIAN

IT'S PRETTY MUCH THE BEST-CASE SCENARIO.

YOU GUYS MIGHT AS WELL BE A PILE OF LEAVES

BECAUSE YOU'RE ABOUT TO GET BLOWN AWAY.

I HAVE BOOKED A MEETING WITH NONE OTHER THAN GRANT LARSON.

NO ONE KNOWS WHO THAT IS? - UM, I DO.

"GRANT LARSON," OTHERWISE KNOWN AS ELTON JOHN.

CONGRATULATIONS, LESLIE.

- NO, GRANT LARSON IS THE DIRECTOR

OF THE MIDWEST BRANCH OF THE NATIONAL PARK SERVICE.

HE'S BASICALLY THE LIAM BONNEVILLE

OF THE MIDWEST.

LIAM BONNEVILLE?

THE DEPARTMENT OF THE INTERIOR'S RESIDENT BAD BOY?

HE'S BASICALLY THE TIM DWECK-- OKAY, NEVER MIND.

I HAVE ASKED GRANT TO DECLARE EAGLETON HILLS

A NATIONAL PARK

AS THE GRAND FINALE OF OUR UNITY CONCERT.

GREAT IDEA, LESLIE.

AND WITH THAT UPDATE,

THE PAWNEE NEW FOUNDER'S DAY UNITY CONCERT

IS NOW OFFICIALLY...

AHEAD OF SCHEDULE!

AND THAT BANNER UNFURLING MARKS THE 100TH TIME

THAT ONE OF MY PROJECTS HAS BEEN...

AHEAD OF SCHEDULE.

- THIS IS YOUR CHANCE TO PUT YOUR NAMES

ON THE PAWNEE UNITY CONCERT, THE BIGGEST EVENT OF 2014...

BESIDES THE UNVEILING OF TRICIA'S NEW HIGHLIGHTS.

YOU THINK I WOULDN'T NOTICE? YOU LOOK FLY AS HELL, GIRL!

THIS UNITY CONCERT NEEDS CORPORATE SPONSORSHIP,

SO BEN AND I ARE MEETING WITH LOCAL BIGWIGS.

I'M GONNA DO WHAT I DO BEST-- LOCK DOWN DEALS.

AND DORK-ASAURUS OVER HERE IS GONNA HANDLE THE BORING STUFF.

- YOU SAID YOU GENUINELY VALUED MY BUSINESS ACUMEN.

ALSO, I'M YOUR BOSS.

OH, MY GOD, HE'S SO CUTE.

YOU'RE THE CUTEST LITTLE BOO-BEAR I'VE EVER SEEN.

- YOU ARE THE WORLD'S MOST ADORABLE BABY

AND I LOVE YOU!

YOU ARE SO FREAKING PRECIOUS! -

- LOOK WHAT GAYLE MADE FOR THE BABY.

IT SAYS "PROPERTY OF PAWNEE GOVERNMENT."

ISN'T THAT ADORABLE?

COME ON, JOHN.

JEEZ.

HERE WE ARE...

THE PARK THAT BORDERS PAWNEE AND EAGLETON.

THIS IS THE PERFECT PLACE FOR THE PRESS CONFERENCE

TO ANNOUNCE OUR UNITY CONCERT.

PEOPLE ARE GONNA CLAP, THEY'RE GONNA CHEER.

TODAY MIGHT BE THE DAY THAT I FINALLY CROWD SURF.

I SHOULD PROBABLY EMPTY MY POCKETS JUST IN CASE.

HEY, ONE QUESTION.

UM, WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GONNA STAND,

IN FRONT OF THE GRAFFITI THAT SAYS "PAWNEE, YOU SUCK,"

OR "GO HOME, EAGLETON SNOBS"?

- I PAINTED OVER THAT GRAFFITI A WEEK AGO.

THESE PEOPLE ARE THE WORST!

I CANNOT ANNOUNCE A UNITY CONCERT

IN FRONT OF A PICTURE OF A BALD EAGLE

GIVING THE MIDDLE FINGER.

- YEAH, YOU PROBABLY WANNA STAND TO THE SIDE

SO PEOPLE CAN SEE IT.

- YOU KNOW, WHY DO WE EVEN HAVE THIS WALL?

WE'RE SUPPOSED TO BE UNITING THE TWO TOWNS,

AND THIS LITERALLY DIVIDES THEM.

WE SHOULD JUST KNOCK IT DOWN.

ON IT, BOSS.

AHH!

OW.

THE KOOL-AID GUY MAKES IT LOOK SO EASY.

- IN THE TIME I'VE WORKED HERE,

I'VE TAKEN GREAT PAINS

TO SEE AS LITTLE OF THIS BUILDING AS POSSIBLE.

TURNS OUT THE THIRD FLOOR IS SILENT, EMPTY,

AND COMPLETELY FREE OF GOVERNMENT WORK.

I CAN'T THINK OF ANYTHING MORE BEAUTIFUL

TO SHARE WITH MY SON.

IF I HAD A TOOLBOX

I COULD TAKE CARE OF THAT FAULTY RADIATOR.

OOH! THIS PLACE IS A PARADISE!

- NICELY DONE, TOM. WE HAVE 15 SPONSORSHIP OFFERS.

- MAKE THAT 16. MITCH SAVNER.

- SAVNER BLEACHES AND CHEMICALS! - THAT'S IT.

- YOU GUYS MAKE MY FAVORITE TEETH-WHITENING STRIPS--

PEARLIES FOR GIRLIES.

IT'S UNISEX.

THE CARTOON PRINCESS ON THE LABEL SAYS SO.

I'LL SPONSOR YOUR CONCERT.

BUT I'M ALSO LOOKING TO INVEST IN OTHER VENTURES.

I HAVE A FEELING A BRIGHT GUY LIKE YOU

HAS SOME IDEAS OF HIS OWN.

- I MAY HAVE A FEW EGGS READY TO HATCH

IN THE PERSONAL IDEA NEST.

- WHY DON'T YOU COME TO MY OFFICE TOMORROW

AND PITCH ME YOUR HOTTEST IDEA?

- PERFECT! I'LL SEE YOU THEN.

OH, THAT'S PRETTY COOL.

IT'S ALL HAPPENING, BEN.

SOON I'LL HAVE A NEW CAREER, NEW CRIB, NEW FRIENDS.

IF ALL GOES WELL, THIS MAY BE ONE OF THE LAST TIMES

I EVER HAVE TO SPEAK TO YOU.

COME WITH ME, I NEED YOUR HELP.

- THANK YOU SO MUCH, EVERYONE, FOR COMING.

AND A SPECIAL THANK YOU TO THE CITY COUNCIL

FOR THEIR SUPPORT.

- I WAS TOLD THERE'D BE A FREE BARBECUE BUFFET?

- JUST TAKE SOME BEEF JERKY AND...HUSH!

THIS SPRING WE WILL BE HOLDING A MASSIVE UNITY CONCERT

TO COMMEMORATE THE MERGER BETWEEN PAWNEE AND EAGLETON.

THIS THREE-DAY MUSIC AND ARTS FESTIVAL

WILL END ON A DAY WE WILL CALL "NEW FOUNDER'S DAY,"

AN OFFICIAL BEGINNING TO OUR NEW TOWN.

A FEW YEARS AGO,

EAGLETON PUT UP THIS WALL ALONG THE BORDER.

NOW IT IS TIME TO TEAR DOWN THIS WALL.

IN THE NAME OF UNITY,

I HAVE GIVEN SOME FORMER EAGLETONIANS THE FIRST STRIKE.

TAKE IT AWAY, GUYS.

THIS IS SUCH A GREAT DAY FOR--

BEES!

BEES! OH!

NOBODY PANIC!

OHHH, NOOOO!

- AH! IT STUNG ME IN THE EYEBALL!

- OH, MAN, THIS IS AMAZING, MAN.

THE STUPID EAGLETONIANS

ARE TOTALLY GETTING THE PWNED BY THESE BEES.

I'M GONNA SEND THIS STRAIGHT TO TOSH.

OW, ! !

- DON'T WORRY, BABE, I'LL PROTECT YOU.

I GOT STUNG ONCE, I'M IMMUNE.

.

LESLIE, IT APPEARS THAT MOST

OF THE PEOPLE WHO WERE STUNG WERE FROM EAGLETON.

HOW DID YOU PULL THAT OFF?

I DIDN'T PULL ANYTHING OFF.

THE EAGLETONIANS WERE SIMPLY CLOSEST TO THE WALL.