Open Season: Scared Silly

It was a dark and stormy night.

The storm was electrical, No rain.

Too bad, because we could use some.

Okay, everybody.

Joke's over. Come on out.

Ian? Is that you? I'm pretty vulnerable out here.

I'm just a doe, a deer, a female deer, out in the woods all alone.

Where are you going, you simple lass?

To check on that noise. I want to make sure it isn't a scary monster.

Only a buffoon in a horror movie investigates creepy sounds...

...instead of running away.

Now stand back while I investigate instead of running away.

By those claw marks, I'd wager that's none other...

...than the Wailing Wampus Werewolf. Hold me.

I thought that was a legend.

Aye, the legend lives!

They needed a hero, and they were about to get one.

Who can protect us?

I can!

Elliot! You're just in time, lad.

Oh, Elliot. I don't know how you find the courage.

It comes with being a Wailing Wampus Werewolf whisperer.

Say that three times fast.

Wailing Wampus Werewolf Whisperer, Wailing Rumpus Rufleaf Rolips.

Weeling Rimpless Roplips- Ugh, I can't do it! I'm not as skilled as you.

It's okay, McSquizzy. I'll handle this.

The werewolf communicates through interpretive dance, and so can I.

Elliot, please be careful. It's so dangerous.

Danger is my maiden name. Now, stay here while I defend our home.

There goes the bravest and most handsomest muledeer...

...that ever graced this earth.

Moose pUCKY!

Your story's a sack of wee jobbies...

...you daft tube! Oi!

Who tells a story in black and white anyways, you jug-eared galoot!

Hello? It's called atmosphere.

Only a complete imbecile would ever believe...

...such a ridiculous story about a werewolf.

Uh, actually, I find his story quite convincing.

Thanks, Boog. I can always count on you.

There was no doubt about it, that werewolf meant business.

Blood business.

Now, werewolves aren't like you and me.

Unless you enjoy ripping lungs out of things. But hey, who am I to judge?

I'm sure there are some perfectly nice werewolves out there...

...just waiting to be friends. But not this werewolf. Oh, no.

The Wailing Wampus Werewolf is a different breed.

He stalks the forest, looking for the biggest...

...juiciest tub of lard he can find.

One thing's for sure, this werewolf wanted to devour me!

- Okay. All right. Time to turn in. Aww.

But he was just getting to the best part.

Yeah, Bong, this is when I really bring the scares home.

I stood face to face with the rabid beast.

Oh, you poor deer.

- I could smell its smelly breath. -Ew. I bet it smelled awful.

Its claws were long and sharp.

Well, you sure can paint a picture, Elliot. On that note--

There was only one thing sharper than the werewolfs claws.

Keep it together, Boog. Come on, go to your happy place.

Its deadly fangs!

He's worse than the bunnies.

Let's take a short intermission. There's refreshments at the lake.

And by that, I mean you can drink the lake, which is refreshing.

I'll be right back.

Boog, that was awesome. You made the story so real.

When you wet yourself, that really pushed it over the top.

Yeah. Yeah, that's it. I was trying to help you sell your story.

Thanks to you, that was the scariest one I told all week.

These werewolf stories aren't actually true. Are they?

- You have nothing to worry about. -Ah...

They're absolutely true.

The Wailing Wampus Werewolf is real and ready to pounce.

- That's what I was worried about. -Wait a minute. You're actually afraid.

- Am not. -Am too.

- Am not. -Am too, am too, am too, am too.

Am not?

All right. I'm afraid. Happy now?

Aha! I knew it! Wait, what are you afraid of'?

Listen, I didn't grow up in the woods. I lived in a cozy garage, remember?

I had a comfy bed with my awn blanky,.

A bowl with my name on it, I think. Fishy crackers.

And Wheel of Fonune on TV.

Hey, is that a unicycle'? You got the best flashbacks, Bong.

Point is, I was safe.

You'll be fine. You're the fattest animal in the forest.

That's why the werewolf will come for me first.

I'm its main competition. I've gotta get away.

You are getting away. We're going on that camping trip. Remember?

I am not going camping with a monster out there.

You can't bail on this trip. We've been planning it for three years.

Think of the river rafting. The boogie boards!

Perfect for a guy named Boog. Zip lines!

Snorkeling. Parasailing. It'll be relaxing.

You expect me to relax when a werewolf is after me?

But you promised you'd go.

And when you make a promise to a friend, that's a promise to the end.

Because you never ever abandon your friend. Everyone knows that.

I'm sorry, Elliot. I can't. I'm gonna build a panic room...

...and hide until the werewolf dies from old age.

So what's a panic room?

It's a safe place you can lock yourself into to keep the werewolves out.

First, you dig a hole. Say this acorn is me...

...and this ladybug is the werewolf.

So the ladybug tries to eat me, see? But she can't.

So you're afraid of Iadybugs too?

Therapy.

L, Elliot Deer Esquire Junior the Third, née Danger, am hereby making it...

...my mission to help you overcome...

...your fear of the werewolf and ladybugs. -Please don't do anything.

Don't worry, Boog. Nothing bad is gonna happen.

Something bad has happened! Something really, really bad!

- Mr. Weenie! -What are you doing out here?

- Is it the werewolf? -Worse!

My beloved owner Bobbie is gone.

So is Bob, who I get along with but I'm not as close to.

- What happened? -I woke up in the RV...

...and they were not there.

- I will obviously never see them again. -Maybe they went on a trip.

Or maybe the Wailing Wampus Werewolf got them.

You're really not helping.

The unihorn is right. That has to be it. There can be no other explanation.

Don't worry. We'll get to the bottom of this.

We'll take cut that bloodthirsty, impossibly large and vicious...

...werewolf, and then we'll go on that camping trip.

See you in the morning, Boogster. Sweet dreams.

- Elliot? -Yeah, Boog?

Don't tell anyone I'm afraid of the werewolf.

Don't worry. We're speaking in the pine cone of silence.

Guess what, everybody, Boog is afraid of the werewolf!

You mean that was not an act?

- Nope. He's genuinely terrified. -Your stories aren't even true.

What? How can you say that? They're totally true.

You've never even seen this so-called werewolf.

I've never seen my so-called brain, but I'm pretty sure I've got one.

If you ask me, I saw this coming a long time ago.

I knew that bear couldn't hack it out here.

He's more like an em-bear-assment. Get it? Em-bear-assment. Ha, ha!

Go easy on Boog. We all have our fears.

- Ah! McSquizzy fears nothing! -See what I mean?

And, Maria, you're afraid you're never gonna find someone...

...that you'll end up a spinster living with two pet bobcats.

Actually I wasn't afraid of that, until now.

Mr. Weenie, you're afraid of hot dog buns.

Yeah, and pickle relish. And mustard!

Serge, you're afraid of duct tape.

Reilly, you're afraid of splinters.

And, Buddy, balloons scare the quills off of you.

Balloons.

And I'm afraid of whatever crazy thing you're gonna do...

...to help Boog overcome his fear.

You see, even Giselle is afraid.

- But I've got a brilliant plan. -Ugh.

- It involves all of us. -Here we go.

We're gonna scare the fear out of Boog.

Uh, and how exactly are we gonna do that?

Here's the plan. Ian, you're gonna be the star.

Naturally.

We'll take some skunks, throw in some ducks...

Beth! Dinkelman! We're home! It was all just a real long bad dream!

Oh, Beth, I'm so glad to see you! I knew you would never dump me in the woods.

Beth?

Nightmare.

Oh.

- Boo! -Aah! Are you trying to scare me?

I was trying to say your name, but you jumped before I got to the "guh" sound.

Boo-guh. You're so impatient.

I'm really not in the mood.

I've got something that will make you happy.

- Woo-hoo. -Where'd you find that?

My main bear, Dinkelman. Actually, you're my main bear.

Dinkelman's my second main bear. Smokey's my third.

Uh...

Aww. Do you want your baby doll back?

No one touches my Dinkelman.

Hey! That was my last one.