Schitt's Creek

- Morning! - Hey! How are you?

- Oh! - Good morning!

Hi. Oh, just continue on inside.

Well, I hope we didn't catch the two of you

with your pants down.

- Oh... - I'm just joking, I can see they're on.

No, we actually listened outside to make sure.

We just brought some leftovers by.

We had a little thing at the house last night

and we didn't want all the food to go to waste, so.

Yeah, and you know what?

We would have invited the two of you

but it was kind of a... Political schmooze-fest.

A lot of pressing of the flesh, and greasing palms,

that kind of thing, you know.

It wasn't as much fun as it sounds.

Oh well, who wants an invitation to big soiree

when you can be met the very next morning

with some table scraps.

You know, people were talking about you too, Moira.

Oh, they were talking about the other candidate?

Yes!

You know, I can't wait for this whole thing to just be over

so we can all just hang out again.

- Yeah, yeah... - Mm-hmm.

Well, we are off to the bank.

We've got lots of donations that we need to deposit.

- Well, thank you. Bye! - Bye!

Those two are not as simple minded as we thought.

He is.

David, Ted said that I had to wear scrubs,

but what does that mean really?

Um, I think it means you have to wear scrubs.

Ugh. I know but look at me.

You look... amazing.

Who designs these things?!

Whatever happened to empowering women's sexuality?

I don't think sex appeal

is the guiding principle behind nursing uniforms.

Obviously you've never been out for Halloween, David.

So are you nervous?

This is like the first job you've ever had.

No it isn't.

Putting your name on a line of edible nail polish

isn't what I would call having a job.

I was very hands on, David.

I came up with all the flavours by myself.

Even the one that poisoned all those people?

David, the factory in Guangzhou assured us

that it was lead-free. Ugh!

Anyway, I'm actually really looking forward to this.

You look like a stick of gum.

Like... what? David!

Well how much did she take?

Um, I'm gonna go get a latte. Do you need anything?

She's an IT manager, Gerald.

She makes more money than both of us combined.

I shouldn't be worrying about these things.

I would love a hot tea.

Okay. Um...

Is everything okay?

Yup. Just chatting.

Listen, let me give you some cash for that.

I don't think that expense card is long for this world.

Mm, okay. It's just I have, um,

four more taxidermy peacocks coming this afternoon.

Oh, I can pay cash for those. That's fine.

Don't answer that.

It's either Gerald or the school

and I can't deal with either right now.

Okay. Um, this is really intense,

so I'm gonna go get that tea.

You're a doll. You're a doll!

Hey! Sorry I'm a bit late.

Um, I wasn't sure what the etiquette was

for this kind of thing,

so I walked around the block a little bit.

Oh, you can show up early, or on time.

Early is probably even better.

Okay, great.

Alexis, you wanted to be treated professionally,

so I have to ask,

where are the rest of your scrubs?

Oh. I thought this was kind of an either/or thing.

No, they come as a set. That's why I gave you both.

Those bare legs are dangerous.

Ted!

No, I'm serious.

The animals carry bugs or ticks

that can burrow into your bare skin.

Ew!

Don't worry, we'll just have you focus on filing for today.

Um, okay. Awesome!

Thank you. So many files!

I'll just dive right into this.

You won't even miss your last secretary

once I get finished with these puppies.

Good news!

I found you a loaner pair. Helen must have left them.

Phew.

Thank you, Ted. Those are just perfect.

Hello!

Ronnie! Hello you! You're looking well today!

New khakis I see.

Are you enjoying your coffee?

I was.

I'm going to presume you were at Jocelyn's thing last night.

How was that?

- Good. Lots of dairy. - Oh, yes.

If anyone knows how to put a lactose intolerant in the hospital,

it's our Jocelyn.

Moira, is there something I can do for you?

Yes, thank you!

Ronnie, I was wondering whether or not

you have decided on a candidate to endorse?

- Not yet. - Oh! Good.

Why is that good?

I'm hoping I might persuade you

to put your weight behind me.

Political weight.

I now realize 'clout' was the word I was looking for.

What makes you think I'd vote for you?

You are a sensible woman, Ronnie,

and you speak your mind.

I-i can feel your frustration with Roland.

Now imagine his wife on council,

strengthening his agenda...

- And? - And, were I on council,

I could support your agenda.

We could support each other's agendas.

Well, I don't hate what you're saying,

so here's what I'm gonna do.

I'm gonna invite some of my girl friends over

and if you can get on the good side of these women,

let's just say you'd be locking down a key demographic.

It's a date.

No. No, it's not. I wouldn't call it that.

No, i-i didn't... I didn't mean...

- Uh! Just... - No, I...

- Thank you. - Okay.

Thank you, Ronnie.

Um, Doris, that is so exciting!

Love him for you!

I don't know. I mean, poor Albert's allergic to cats.

But I can't leave Mittens alone.

So how do I spend time with Albert?

Veterinary clinic, how can I help you?

Can I put you on hold?

Okay, so if there's one thing I learned,

is that when it comes to love

you cannot let little things get in your way.

Like I once dated this sultan's nephew

who was forbidden to talk to me or even to look at me

and we made it work for like half a regime change, so...

- You what? - I know.

- Uh, Alexis, - Yes.

- Can I talk to you for a second? - Yeah.

We're gonna put this on pause. The doctor needs me.

- Yes? - So how's the filing coming?

I have been swamped.

Doris's cat is like totally high maintenance.

Yeah, well, Doris has been worried about her cat

for two years. She comes in every week.

Okay, well, what am I supposed to do?

Poor thing is like desperate for a man.

And, uh, why are there three calls on hold?

Um... I don't know, someone hung up?

Okay, Alexis, there is more to the job

than just keeping the customers happy, all right?

This is a place of business and right now,

there are clients waiting to talk to me.

Are you sure that you're cut out for this?

- Mm. - Okay.

'Kay.

Well, look, I-I can't talk about this now,

I have to go.

I just wanted to let you know

that we just sold one of the leather ponchos.

Oh, we're selling leather ponchos now?

Well, that doesn't sound cheap.

No, it's not, which is why it's so exciting

that we just sold one.

- That's fabulous, David. - It is.

Um, so I was gonna go,

unless needed me for something else.

That was Gerald and...

now I have a meeting at the school tomorrow

and I've got no one to take care of my stepdaughter.

His ex-wife certainly won't do it.

Wow... well, if there's anything I can do, just...

I need someone to take care of my stepdaughter.

Okay. Well, if there's anything I can do, just...

I need you to take care of my stepdaughter.

'Kay, I don't think that's a very good idea.

I'm gonna drop her off at four.

I'm looking forward to it.

You're a doll.

I brought you some trail mix, but I spilled it in my purse.

So sweet of you, Doris. Thank you.

Hey, I was thinking about what you said yesterday