Pennyworth

Good afternoon. You'’re on my land.

Yes, pet, I know.Oh, do you?

Well, clear off with you, then.

And what if I don'’t?Ah.

Another one of these bloody animal rights oiks, are we?

No. Animals don'’t have rights.

Steady, boy.

Nobody has rights, really, do they?

It'’s every bugger for himself as far as I can see.

Are you mad? Do you know who I am?!

I should hope so, duck.

If you'’re not Lord Longbrass,

I'’m in for a right bollocking. Are you?

Are you?!

Yes.Yeah.

Not so chuffy now.

Who are you?

I'’m nobody, me.

You... have been a bad boy.

You'’ve to come with us.

No. No. No!

Ah! Let go!

It'’s my day off.

I could be at home with my feet up.

Gaffer says no, it'’s job on.

We'’ve to come out here,

roadworks all the bloody way,

to fetch you.

Now, don'’t you be giving me any trouble,

or I'’ll be vexed.

Never mind the petrol money.

Will they reimburse me?

Will they heck.

Slainte... you bastard.

It'’s only Johnnie Walker, sorry.

He'’s the second chap to kill himself this year.

What?

I thought it was a car crash.

Broad daylight. A lamppost.

Best driver in the regiment.

Bollocks.

You see, when I go,

save me a drop of the good stuff, eh?

None of this cheap shite.

Sometimes I wish I was back in the jungle.

Oh, give over, Daveboy.

There'’s a whole world out there for us.

We'’re free men.

You'’ve been watching too much telly.

You'’re doing well, then, are you, Alfie?

Yeah. Can'’t grumble, Bazza.

I'’ve started up a security firm.

Business cards and all that.

It'’s early days.

Dear boy, you are way too softhearted

to be a businessman.

Hey, I can be hard when I need to be.

You remember those Malaysian pirates?

Yeah, fair play.

Th-They were good lads.

Too soft, Alfie.

You'’ll be eaten up.

Yeah, well, we'’ll see, won't we?

Tossers.

Wake up, brothers and sisters!

The beast of discord is coming to bathe in our blood!

Brother will fight with brother!

Father will fight with son!

Your houses will burn!

Evening. Uh, may I?Uh, sure.

Thank you.

My apologies.

Thank you.Good evening.

Good evening.

Pennyworth, you'’re opening the door too abruptly.

We open like so.

With discreet panache.

Discreet panache it is, sir.Anyway,

I need you downstairs.

We just got here. I'’m not leaving.

Finish up your drink...MAN 2: She says she doesn'’t want to leave.

Are you deaf, mate?

No, my hearing'’s 100%, actually.

Now, Patricia, get up. We'’re leaving.PATRICIA: No.

Good evening, madam.

Gentlemen... having a pleasant evening?

Sir, this woman here is my sister,

and these gentlemen are--

Well, I don'’t know who they are or what their agenda is,

but she'’s drunk, and I would like to take her

to a safe place.Jesus, Tommy.

You followed me all the way to goddamn Europe?

What kind of a weird fascist are you?

I am here on business, Patricia.

Aren'’t you all grown up.

I don'’t know this man. You can go.

That true, miss? He'’s your brother?

And what if he is?

Well, there'’s nothing more important than family, is there?

Apart from your health, of course.

Right, lads?

A lot of front for a door monkey.

Don'’t be like that.

You'’ve got to have your health, haven'’t you?

Exercise, fresh air. That'’s the thing.

A good long walk.

Ah.

My apologies.

You either come with me or take ahold of yourself.Let me go.

Help. Some help, please, someone. No.'’Cause you're drunk.

You'’re embarrassing me.

Oh!

Patricia! Control yourself.

You'’ve hit the man.

Taxi.

No, please don'’t cry, we're getting you out of here.

I'’m sorry.You'’re coming home. Stop crying.

I'’m fine.You are embarrassing me.

In London, in public.

I'’m sorry.Get in, please.

Behave.

I am so sorry. I didn'’t get your name.

Uh, Pennyworth, sir. Alfred Pennyworth.

Thank you so much for your assistance, Alfred.

I apologize for my sister'’s behavior.

I hope you'’re not too seriously hurt.

No, I'’m fine, sir. Thank you.

You'’re bleeding.

Oh, really?

Yes. Uh, I--

Fudge. Out of cards.

Um... let me give you

my phone number.

If you have any medical expenses

or any other issues, then please call me.

I accept full liability.

And, um, no need to involve the lawyers.

It was a pleasure meeting you, Albert.

Uh, Mr. Wayne.

My card. Pennyworth Security.

Fantastic. Thank you, Albert.

Leave me alone.

Your drunkenness is very embarrassing.

I don'’t know you. Who the fuck are you?We'’re in London.

Need a hanky?

Oh. Thank you.

Did someone hit you?

Oh, Thursday night is always a bit naughty.

Usually I duck.

Alfred.

Esme.

Has it stopped?

Yes.

I'’ll, um-- I'’ll have this cleaned.

Thank you.I'’ll get it

back to you Saturday, if you'’d like.

I don'’t work Saturdays.

Me neither.

We could meet in the park. It'’s gonna be a nice day.

That'’s rather forward of you.

No.

I saw the weather forecast.

Sunshine.

At Downing Street today, the prime minister asked

the general public to help in the unexplained

disappearance of Lord Rupert Longbrass.

Rupert is a dear friend and valued colleague.

We are deeply concerned,

and we are praying for his safe return.Jesus, the bloke.

We are confident Scotland Yard will get to the bottom of this.

What a fucking mongoose.

Fuck-Fucking Rupert Longbrass.

Fucking Raven Society.

Fuck the No-Names.

What is the Raven Society? What'’s a No-Name?

Don'’t you worry your pretty head, my dear.

Don'’t be bloody patronizing.

Rupert is a banker.

Looks after money for the Raven Society.

They'’re... lunatics

who want to overthrow the government

and set up a fascist utopia.

The No-Name League are fools

who want to overthrow the government

and set up a socialist utopia.

Why don'’t you arrest them all?No. No, no, no, no.

We allow them to continue so long as they don'’t make too much noise.

And Rupert'’s abduction

is far too noisy.

Maybe he ran away abroad,

or jumped in the sea, or off the bridge.

No. No such luck.

No, some hidden springs are winding.

Dark wheels are turning.

Oh. My dear friend.