Parenthood

You will never guess who I keep running into.

Jim Kazinsky.

He was real cute.

My god.

You're more beautiful than I remember you.

Really?

- Stop talking. - Got it.

- It's not me, it's you. - Exactly.

It's not you. It's me.

- Daddy, this is Steve. - It's really good to meet you.

What's up?

You robbed me of five years of my son's life.

Why don't you come join me? There's something I wanna show you.

You want to tell me how this happened, Bug?

You know Skippy from next door?

He ran in and knocked it down.

The Monroes don't have a dog anymore.

- Skippy came back. - Skippy's...

Skippy went to the country after that thing with the car.

- I don't think he's coming back. - He did.

Joel, don't. Whoever broke it will clean it up.

- Skippy doesn't know how to clean. - Skippy didn't break the vase, Bug.

He did. I saw him.

There's no excuse for lying.

- But you're a liar. - No, baby, I'm a lawyer.

Harmony's mom said they're the same thing.

Just tell me the truth. Did you break the vase?

Did you?

Is that periodic table test today?

- It's actually monday. - Cool.

Let the games begin.

They should just use the money for the dance for, like,

- a vending machine or something. - Actually, I was gonna go.

Why not, right?

See ya.

Does it even matter what I wear to a school dance?

Of course, because Lindsay is there, you've had a crush on Lindsay

for forever, and you are, like, in love with her,

and if you don't look good, she's not gonna be into you.

I need you to pick five schools,

because we are going on your college tour.

- There're catalogues. - I think this is cute.

College tour? I thought we couldn't afford it.

I picked up extra shifts, 'cause it's important,

you're gonna come work with me tomorrow.

At the bar?

We have a catering gig at cal, and it's...

- a poetry reading, you're gonna... - Poetry reading?

I'd actually rather sell an organ.

- But thanks. - If you don't change that attitude,

it may come to that. I don't think you need both livers.

- What about this? - That's not good.

Why do you think that me

giving little tiny hors d'oeuvres to english majors

is gonna make me want to go to college?

What is gonna make you want to go?

Nothing, 'cause I don't want to go.

You don't seem to get that this is the year.

This is your junior year.

This is the year that is the difference

between "paging Dr. Braverman" or "do you want fries with that?"

This is the year.

- Really? Dr. Braverman? I don't think. - Yes, it's possible. If you just...

Just pick five schools, Amber.

Why is it so hard? That's cute. Wear that.

It's cute, right?

Honey, listen, if you're gonna wear a t-shirt,

wear a blazer, okay? You look so cute in a blazer.

- God! - Elliot.

Come on. He didn't even make it to the flying bikes part.

It's too late.

You don't want to wake him up?

Here, I'll grab him.

Here you go, buddy.

Good night.

I should go.

Hi, honey. Guess what. Guess what.

- What? - Denise just called,

and she is announcing her candidacy for lieutenant governor in Sacramento

- this weekend. - Great. Good for her.

I know. It's amazing. She wants me to come down and help her out.

Like, help her with her speeches, and things like that.

Just like old times?

I told her there's probably no way

with everything that's going on with Max,

- he's getting acclimated, your work... - Wait. You said no?

Yeah, I told her no.

It's just for the weekend.

Like, three days.

Honey, this is major. You were with her from the beginning.

So should I do it? Are you telling me to do it?

Really?

Sounds like the future lieutenant governor needs you.

Honey, that is so awesome. I won't be gone longer than that. I promise.

- What is this? - I don't know.

Just a little something-something that came in the mail.

I think I know what this is.

You do too.

Nice.

You dirty dog.

Honey.

I hope it fits me. This left boob is a little bit

- bigger than the right. - I like that right there.

What inspired this little bit of naughtiness?

What are you talking about?

What do you mean?

What do you mean what do I mean?

What do you mean what do I mean?

You ordered it.

- No, I didn't. - You didn't?

No, I didn't order this.

Did you look at the package?

You can read it.

"H. Braverman."

Had... Get it off me. Get it off.

United Team

Blackart

Lafeelicita

Lestat

Lili B

MiniBen314

Salomon

valpi

1x09 - Perchance to dream

- Hey, honey. Good morning. - Morning.

Is Max awake yet?

- Yeah, I think he's just changing. - Okay, good.

Before I forget, a package came for you yesterday.

From Victoria's Secret ?

It got opened accidentally. I'm not sure how. It just...

Mom?

How would a package with my name on it get opened accidentally?

I think your father assumed that it was for me,

- he opened it. - That's really gross.

Anyway, he threw it away, so it doesn't matter.

- What? - He was gonna burn it, but he figured

- probably not a good idea. - Mom, I spent my money on that.

- That's expensive. - I know that you did.

That's why I rescued it.

Thank you.

Can I just ask you a question?

Why would you buy yourself a bra like that?

- I'm not gonna talk about this. - Okay. That's fine.

You're gonna have to talk to dad about it then, he's curious as to why...

- You would not do that. - Yes, I would.

I'll call him right now.

All right. What do you want to know? Just ask.

Did you buy that bra for Steve?

Mom...

You know Steve doesn't have boobs.

I'm not gonna buy him a bra. Don't be ridiculous.

Did you buy it for Steve?

I bought it for myself, all right?

It's pretty and it's sexy, and...

I don't know what you want to think about me, but I'm a woman.

You have to promise me that you're being smart,

and you're being careful,

and you're not having sex.

What do you think sex is?

I don't know. Anything beyond making out, or...

- That's your definition of sex? - For you.

I think I have to get ready for school.

- Like you said, I can't be late again. - I trust you.

- "You think you made out with her?" - It's the mother of my child.

That's somehow warped your memory?

I watched the video

of my son coming out of her insides.

Huge mistake for you.

Huge mistake.

No man should have to witness that unprepared.

It's extreme.

- You think you're gonna recover? - Does it recover?

- It does. In time. - Kristina...?

- You guys gonna get together? - I think it's safer if we stay friends.

That's good. You better play it safe. Good idea.

Look, it's not like I can walk away from this one.

- Good for you. - Then again,

I'm only human. She's very attractive.

- So I don't know. - What does Jasmine think about this?

- I don't know. - Have you considered maybe asking her?

I just... I wish that we could just hang out,

with no kid, just the two of us,

and kind of get to know each other again,

but, now the cart's in front of the horse. It's like...

There's something that people do in situations like this. Dating.

How's it going, Kristina?

It's... I have a couple of choices that I think might work.

- Come on. - Let's see 'em.

How do I look?

- From the David Byrne collection. - Who's he?

- Joan Collins? - Cybil Shepherd's

- lost jacket. - You're making fun of me?

- Were you on Dynasty? - I can't.

It's like an episode of Hoarders.

- When's the last time you cleaned it? - My god. You know what?

My daughter has a better wardrobe than I do.

- Kristina, let me find something. - We'll help you.

By the way, guess who started buying bras.

- Who? - From Victoria's Secret ?

- You? - Haddie.