The Paper

Oh!

The Truth Tellerwas nominated

in this year's Ohio Journalism Awards.

You heard right. The Truth Teller.

Three times, in fact.

Mare for her great story on the Softees clog,

Ned for The Truth Telleritself,

and a fresh-faced new upstart, heh, named Oscar Martinez

for the Mr. Digit Puzzle. Best New Game.

I can't remember the last time The Truth Teller won something.

Thank you, thank you.

I'd like to say this means a lot,

but all it represents really is a year of backbreaking,

liver-destroying work

that nearly put me in the hospital.

-Hey, Ned. -How you doing?

-Did you meet my husband? -Luke Putnam.

-Oh! My brother.

Yes! Yes, yes. I see the resemblance. Very cool.

You didn't bring someone for, uh, moral support?

God, no, no. I don't need any moral support.

You only need support if you care about winning.

It's just not a big deal either way.

Mm.

What is not a big deal?

Oh, my God. Whoa.

Uh, winning. I don't think winning's a big deal.

-Spinning? -Winning.

Oh, you really said winning.

- -I did, yeah.

That's bullshit. Winning's always better.

I don't think it is.

I think sometimes it's actually worse.

How?

Well, if you need validation from strangers...

Is that a rabbit's foot in your hand?

No, no. This is, um...

It's part of a dead mouse I found in the street. So...

It's not a mouse and it's not a rabbit's foot.

I cut the leg off my childhood stuffed animal

so that I can rub it whenever I want.

I mean, it's possible

my subconscious has some desire for awards,

'cause I dream about it constantly

but as long as I shove that desire back down

when I wake up...

everything's fine.

Oh, look! Mare's here!

And her date.

Ah.

I hope they have a pleasant evening.

Summer and I really needed this.

Oscar gave me his plus one and all I had to do

was promise to match his purchase orders to invoices

for the entire month of July.

But like, July's weeks away. And look at that woman go.

What?

-You look beautiful, sweetie. -Thank you so much!

Good to see you too. No. You?

Me too? Okay. Yes!

There's Marv's table. Social summit.

We should be here.

-Nate, glad you could make it. -Oh, thank you.

-Oh, careful! -Uh, sorry!

-Sober one month. Bravest man I know.

Congrats.

I'm very proud of this.

Gave the guy a bottle of whiskey for it.

-Hello, everybody. -Hello, everybody.

-Hi. -Hi, Oscar.

I'm sorry, I think you're at the wrong table.

Table 14.

Right, I'm sorry. Fifteen, but we should be 14.

Fifteen's over there.

- -Aww!

Is that a joke?

Is that somebody's funny joke?

Wowee. Making it look like we're at the kids' table.

Maybe because I look so young.

-It's not that. -No.

I mean...

-Okay. Oh...

-Mommy, Daddy. -Mommy.

-Hi! -Hi!

What are you doing here?

Well, we thought we'd bring them down

to say goodnight to you guys.

We already said goodnight.

They wanted to again.

Oh, did you?

Okay, well, you guys are gonna go

with your Uncle Travis and Auntie Adelola.

Aah... -Ugh!

Head back-- Back, okay?

-What a night. -Yes.

What a night.

Have you two met my father?

Oh, Jesus wept.

Oh, my God. Are you kidding me?

Dude. Is it-- Man! You absolutely rock, dude.

It's nice to meet you.

Theo rolls coal. I follow him on YouTube.

You get a diesel truck, you take off the carburetor,

you lock the brakes, you floor it,

and all this black smoke--

Hello, hello. --goes everywhere.

Isn't that cool?

It's very bad for the environment.

I cannot believe I just met Theo.

Mare, put a ring on that thing, for real.

All right, Travis, no one needs to know

about your backwoods viewing habits.

No offense, you can go to bed.

-Okay. -See you tomorrow.

Do I think Ned is a little jealous?

I don't know.

Hey, isn't that the girl you're dating?

The weather girl you're hooking up with?

Oh! -Uh-oh!

Is your whole rotation here?

Yeah, yeah. It's Gloria Tornado.

She's hot. Are you gonna say hi?

"Hi" would be pretty tame for us.

I'm gonna say a lot more than "hi" tomorrow.

Yeah, yeah. If I start it,

it's not gonna stop at "hi," believe me.

Okay. Well, maybe I'll go say hello.

And, um, we can compare notes on you.

- -Mm?

Good evening,

and welcome to the 63rd Annual Excellence Awards

of the Ohio Press Association.

I heard the chef is from Chicago.

How exciting is this evening, right?

Yes, it's good to be back.

It's been a few years. Hasn't it?

...to turn our eyes away

from the broader world around us.

I need to distance myself from Esmeralda.

I'm getting swept away in her mediocrity.

A prestige shift is happening.

Oscar now has the ear of Marv and that is a dangerous thing.

Accountants have a nasty habit of getting rid of dead weight,

which was my nickname at school, and before.

- -Nannies can be very cruel.

Oh, my God, no.

Marv's choking and I'm not there.

I'm supposed to be the back-patter!

Oh yes, the Putnams have very narrow esophagi.

The Oregon branch of the family was completely wiped out

after their wagon train passed through a cherry farm.

Mm.

-Ken, can I-- Can I help you? -No, I'm good.

And now, "New Game of the Year."

This award honors a designer or news organization

for exceptional engagement in print games.

Come on.

And New Game of the Year goes to...

Oscar Martinez for Mister Digit!

The Toledo Truth Teller.

Hey, it's good! It's good either way.

Yeah! -Don't change.

Don't change, though.

Thank you!

I-- I'd be just as proud if he lost.

Oh, my God. Just admit you want something for once.

You know what? I want to dedicate...

...this win to a group

that doesn't get enough attention,

the documentary film crew that's been following me around

for the better part of 20 years.

I'm sorry I pushed you guys away before.

I think you guys are the only ones who really see me.

And, um...

I guess I was put on earth to be a documentary subject.

And I never told you guys this

but sometimes I answer, uh,

interview questions in my dreams.

- -

So, there you have that.

And they're playing me out now, which is pretty cool.

Um... Uh...

I need to thank Marv Putnam.

- -Marv, thank you

for ignoring the naysayers.

And for believing in us.

Thank you, Marv!

When he says naysayers, he means me.

I can only see one way out of this.

I need to save Marv's life.

Tonight.

- -

-Your category's up soon. -Oh, I know.

Unlike you, I'm not pretending I don't care.

God, it just feels so ridiculous to even be nominated.

I think it would be ridiculous if you didn't win.

...Don Lye for "Kroger Wage Violations",

Mare Pritti for "Softees Clogs Toledo",

Kelcy Fist for ""P" and "G" A Flood of Greenwashing",

and Huey Cheang