black-ish

I love feeling special...

...getting the first-class treatment.

It's as American as apple pie and baseball --

Well, back-in-the-day baseball before steroids,

but not so far back that it was segregated.

You know what? Let's just stick with apple pie --

Delicious.

But, look, it's not just me.

Everybody loves special treatment.

It's that thing that says you're different,

you're the best, you deserve shrimp.

So that's why when it came time to plan a family vacation,

I knew I wanted to ball out.

Disney World, huh? Nice.

Mm-hmm.

Oh, no. Not just Disney World.

Disney World V.I.P.

- Ooh. - Mm.

I'm gonna give my kids

the first-class experience I never had.

Boy, I sure would like to take Eustace to Disney World,

but I'm not allowed to take him out of state.

Nor anywhere in my car.

It's just how it is.

When are you leaving?

Tomorrow morning. And it's gonna be insane.

All right, everyone. Call your wives.

Tell them you won't be coming home

'cause you're working late, only this time, it'll be true.

What's going on?

It's a real crisis.

All hands on deck for the next two weeks.

Just got an e-mail from Microsoft.

They hate the direction we're headed in.

What? No, can't that wait?

Subject line -- "We cannot wait."

Look, I can't do it.

I'm going on vacation tomorrow, man.

I need this. I've been working hard.

Are you kidding me?

None of you have done around here

since Pokémon Go came out.

Ohh!

Don't act innocent. No.

It's exercise.

I can't do it.

- Excuse me. - You are running point on this.

Yes, I am, and --

Charlie can do it.

Whe-- hm.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah. Yeah, that's right, I -- I can do that. Yeah.

You'll be great, Charlie.

Look, and if you have any questions, just call me.

Are you sure you can handle this?

It is around-the-clock responsibility.

I've been living here for two months anyway.

They're tenting my apartment for ghosts.

Weird things are happening.

All my shoelaces are missing and all my forks are flat.

So I haven't been back since.

Eustace!

What? God sakes.

So just like that, the Johnsons were off on our special trip.

I'm going to Disney World.

Mnh. Got it.

It started with a luxurious ride to the airport.

Then we all enjoyed a first-class flight.

Me especially.

And then we arrived at Disney World

ready to get turnt on our very special V.I.P. vacation

at the most magical place on earth.

Guys, we are here, and it's a dream!

Crowds and 100% humidity. Ain't like no dream I ever had.

Oh, my God!

You know what? You didn't have to come.

Yes, I did. I rented your place on Airbnb,

and I'm making a killing, too.

Hey, guys. Guys, what ride are we gonna ride first?

I think the faster, the better.

I want something that's gonna give me

that same rush I feel when I drink after

a random co-worker.

I can't wait to do Space Mountain.

Uh, actually, friend, you're gonna have to wait.

What do you mean?

Space Mountain has a height requirement.

Here's a map I pre-marked.

It's for someone with your humiliating shortness.

Small World? Dumbo?

I don't want to do baby rides.

Then get ready to enjoy 43 square miles

of restaurants and bathrooms.

We're going there!

Let's go do it!

Hello, Johnson family!

- Oh, hey. - Oh, hey.

I'm Cody, and you better be ready

to have a magical day!

- Better be? - Earl, Earl, get my Vaseline.

- Who is this? - Mama, mama, mama, mama.

- Talking about "better be"? - Mama. This is Cody.

He's our V.I.P. tour guide, all right? We bought him.

Oh, well, you didn't actually buy me. I'm an employee.

Okay, well, do you really want to get mollywhopped by my mama?

All right, he's gonna take us around

because we are special V.I.P.s, and he is the best.

Oh, I assure you you are in great hands.

In fact, before I joined the Disney family,

I was a place kicker for an arena football team.

But that is a life I left behind.

- Hm. - Okay.

Okay! So, these are your custom magic bands.

- Thank you. - Thank you.

- Oh. - All right.

And because you are guests at the Animal Kingdom Lodge,

these will conveniently charge your purchases.

- Yay! - Special.

Babe, babe.

- Hm. - I like that.

I wish you would!

P-Pops. Pops, what's wrong, man?

Wait, you're mad that we're doing it right?

What the hell you talking about, boy?

We did it right when I took you to Disneyland.

Something wrong with your tuna, baby?

Pops, can I have one of those?

When you get a job, yeah.

- Well, I got a job now. - And I have this.

This is linked to his credit card, yes?

Yes.

Come on, Ruby, let's go make it rain at Epcot.

- Oh, my. - All right.

Well, we're going this way!

- Let's go. - All right.

Excuse me. V.I.P. coming through!

V.I.P. coming through!

So, we don't have to wait in that line?

Hah! Nope. But be gracious,

because we're not better than anybody else.

Hell if we're not. I paid a lot of money for us to be special.

You are special, honey -- very.

Hey, what's up?

Nothin' much.

Just, you know, handling some B.I. on the Microsoft account.

Quick question.

Uh, asking for a friend, all right?

Uh, who is Microsoft?

Hey, Charlie, I'm gonna have to call you back, man.

Right now you're distracting me from feeling superior

to the general-admission people I'm passing.

No, no, no, no, my friend's back is against the wall,

and you got to help him, Dre.

Come on, man -- p--

Marshawn! Marshawn Lynch!

Oh, not him, man, not him. But thank you.

That guy thought you were Marshawn Lynch, Dad.

Eh, it's just a flattering form of racism, son.

Now, anyone get motion sickness?

Anyone pregnant?

- Oh, oh, hey, hey. - Yes, I am actually pregnant.

That's awesome, congratulations.

Thank you.

But unfortunately, mama bear,

you're gonna have to sit this ride out

because of your cub in the oven.

Oh. Okay, well, there's a lot of other rides I can ride, right?

Oh, absolutely.

Anything that doesn't have a sharp tilt, turn, loop,

sudden drop, or sudden stop.

Wow, bae, that's a lot you can't do.

I know.

Kind of I wish I didn't pay extra for you now.

Wha--

Single rider! - Dre.

Bow wasn't going to ruin our trip

the way the baby ruined hers.

We were going to get down to the very important business

of being very important people.

My kids, they started off slow.

Excuse us.

I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.

Don't mind us. We're with the guide.

We're with Cody.

What are you apologizing for?

You're V.I.P., boy. Own this.

But eventually, they started to get the hang of it.

Don't hate! V.I.P. coming through!

It's natural to feel jealous.

Hey, we'll let you know how it is.

Don't make eye contact with me.

My God, whose kids are those?

They're mine!

You all have fun!

Cody. See you later!

Oh, so that's how it is. Look here.

Waiter, we'd like to buy a round

for every sunburnt person wearing a T-shirt

courtesy of our ungrateful son.

Boy don't even realize how much we had to sacrifice