Shameless

Who are you?

Oh. I'm supposed to do what?

Yeah, w‐no, I got a‐I got a baby.

I've had two hours of sleep.

I don't have time for this. It...

Fine.

Here's what you missed last week.

Okay.

Do you wanna join me?

Faye Donahue.

Is that you?

At high school graduation.

Right before everything changed forever.

Kyle Holmes was my fiancé.

Who is this Kyle guy?

You know what you did!

I don't. I swear.

Claudia Nicolo.

I left you a little something on the nightstand.

I'm not a prostitute.

Yes, I did think

you were a prostitute

when I picked you up on Ho Corner,

but... I see now that you are more than that.

Oh, hello. Aunt Oopie here.

Aunt Oopie's got everything

- covered here. - Date?

I'm gonna teach Fred

and that little colored boy about the Gettysburg Address.

I'm sorry. Wha‐what was that part?

She can't be Fred's guardian, Tami.

She's racist as fuck.

Miss Brenda, are you inviting me to the cookout?

I am inviting you to the cookout.

Look at all these beautiful, highly educated,

wealthy black people.

‐ All doctors? I love it. ‐ Mm‐hmm.

What the shit is this?

Our youth leader program.

These are our future police?

- Doubt it. - Your mission:

police this neighborhood between point A and B.

Move out! Go! Go! Go! Go!

I think we should get married.

What?

Then we can't testify against each other.

Staying out of jail's a crap reason to get married.

No. We fucking love each other.

That's why we're gonna get married.

It's marriage that I don't know if I love.

I wanna know how you feel, you know?

Fuck.

*SHAMELESS U.S.* Season 10 Episode 09

Mm.

Who's riding a lawn mower around the block?

Gotta be kidding me.

Oh, hey.

Why don't you get out of here? I'll call you later.

Who's that?

Byron. Cute, huh?

Super tight asshole.

You're a top now?

Verse. Who knew?

Hey, you seen this?

Jesus!

It's the hospital bill.

Childbirth, emergency surgery,

ICU...

How much?

Thirty‐six hundred.

‐ Wow. ‐ That's after insurance.

I mean, how are we gonna pay this?

Here. That's easy.

We're not.

We already brought him home. What are they gonna do?

Take him back?

Well, they delivered our baby and saved my life.

Yeah, and that was their choice.

They didn't give me the option of leaving Fred in the oven

or letting you die on the operating table.

So you would've let me die?

I mean, if I knew it was gonna cost us four grand...

...yeah, maybe.

Look, we have to pay this.

Tami, no, we don't.

Isn't not paying your bills stealing?

No.

Charging us money while your life is on the line,

that's extortion.

‐ Right? ‐ Hmm.

We're, uh, Robin Hooding, you know?

We're stealing from the rich, giving to the poor.

You're not Robin Hood.

Yeah, but I'm poor.

So, what, so you steal stuff?

Sometimes.

Like what?

I don't know. It's a long list.

Okay, well, like, uh,

food from the grocery store?

Yeah, like food from anywhere.

Money?

That a real question?

What‐cars?

No.

But, uh, never say never.

Wow.

"Wow" what?

No, you're just...

exactly the role model I always wanted for my kid.

Next up,

a Florida man was found dead today,

facedown in the lobster tank of a Tampa grocery store.

Here you go. A proper breakfast.

The sugar in this cereal will kill you.

In your case, however,

I suspect that your lifestyle will kill you

- before your diet does. - Ah.

Was that Mickey this morning?

‐ Yup. ‐ Where's he been?

With a twink named Byron.

Twink?

You know, like Ms. Del Rey's kid.

Yoga pants and glitter.

Eh, not always. But yeah, sure.

So if you tell someone

you're not marrying them,

that means they can sleep with other people?

No.

But Mickey's emotional IQ is lower than Carl's actual IQ.

Shit. You're fucked, dude.

Nah, he'll work it out of his system

and we'll talk it out like adults.

It'll be fine.

Hang on to your wallets, everyone.

Lip is here.

Oh, there's my gorgeous niece.

Prettier... mwah... than Megyn Kelly

and smarter too.

Oh, objectified by America

and sexually harassed by your bosses?

It's every girl's dream.

‐ Megyn Kelly? ‐ A blonde news host.

She thinks Santa's white.

He's not?

‐ No. ‐ Yes, honeybun!

Hey, did I hear a girly bike pull up this morning?

‐ Mickey. ‐ He's dating a twink now.

Oh, so you leaving him at the altar,

that's become a thing, huh?

I‐I didn't leave him at the altar.

- Yes, you did. - I mean...

It was City Hall.

We were only getting married to outsmart the cops.

You made the right decision.

Marriage is a sacred union between a man and a woman.

What's that smell?

Self‐righteousness.

No. The air smells... clean.

Where is Frank? Haven't seen him in a while.

Enjoy it while it lasts.

He'll be back to stinking up the place in no time, right?

Oh, there you go.

Frank Gallagher,

the court reduces your charge to a misdemeanor

and sentences you to 30 days in rehab.

The deviant thug who tried to steal

this bright young man's future,

Kyle Holmes,

I hereby sentence you to 45 years in prison.

Sentences you to 30 days in rehab.

Forty‐five years for possession.

Thirty days in rehab.

Forty‐five years. Thirty days in rehab.

Forty...

Good morning.

Do you need a diaper change?

Please let me go.

As soon as you admit what you did to my poor Kyle.

I told you, I don't remember who Kyle is.

Liar.

Maybe if I had a drink.

I'm a lot more lucid when I'm drunk.

Sounds like a lovely idea.

Is that a Balvenie? Thirty year?