Killing Words (Palabras encadenadas)

September 19th, 1997.

Hello,

First I ought to say a little about myself,

I'm forty-two years old,

I've lived a very normal life,

My childhood and adolescence

was uneventful,

I was a brilliant student,

and I grew up in a perfectly

normal family,

My father died five years ago,

a year after my wedding,

He had Alzheimer's, a nasty disease,

My mother is still alive,

I married a girl who was...

normal,

We separated after 19 months.

I can't say exactly

why we separated, but the truth is, I can't say why we married either.

I guess,.,

Never mind,

Since then I've lived with my mother,

I work at the university,

And that's it.

KlllING WORDS

My life is such that it's hard to believe

that I killed a woman this morning,

But I did,

I killed her,

What surprises me most

is I haven't the slightest remorse,

no guilt feelings, nothing.

Not even a slight unease,

I don't know, it worries me,

I don't even remember the look on her face,

I killed her around breakfast time,

I strangled her,

It was easy, She was old,

She didn't resist much,

Physically, she resembled my mother,

a small, fragile woman,

She went red,

but her tongue didn't protrude,

I thought when someone was strangled to death, their tongue stuck out.

Not her,

I killed her in her own home,

I saw her enter a doorway and went in with her.

We took the lift together.

When she saw me get out on the same floor, she asked

which floor I wanted.

I said the 4th and she said we were on the 3rd,

I apologized for my confusion,

and pretended to go up the stairs to the 4th,

When she opened the door, I ran down,

shoved her inside and shut the door.

She didn't cry out,

She stayed on the floor, staring at me,

I sat on top of her,.,

and strangled her.

As I left,

I closed the door with my jacket sleeve

so as not to leave fingerprints.

And no-one saw me,

In films, when people do this kind of thing,

they leave some trace and the police catch them,

In real life,

this doesn't happen,

No.

In films, there's a hair on the victim's fingers

which is tested for DNA,

or the murderer has carpet fiber from his house on his shoe

which gives them a lead, or whatever,

But in real life, no,

Anyone can do what I did...

and then go back to work,

or home to make lunch,

or pick up the kids from kindergarten,

I don't think I'll do it again,

It didn't do much for me,

It's a diary,

I always make a tape.

This is from two years ago. It was the first time.

The idea came to me...

all of a sudden.

I thought it'd make it simpler for experts to study my case,

I want it clear that I will kill you.

We can have a fairly long conversation,

but know that at any moment,

when you least expect it,

I will kill you.

Before I kill you, we will fuck.

Or maybe after, I haven't decided yet.

It doesn't matter.

Later I'll show you more tapes,

so you can understand my evolution,

You're good at your job.

Doctor Laura Galan:

Psychiatrist.

I trust you will understand me,

You must realize that at the time

I had no intention of hurting anyone else.

I say this on the tape: "I will not do it any more".

But...

since then I've jumped at every opportunity,

Later I'll show a tape

where I talk about how I killed the first child.

At one point...

I explain how I did it,

and I cry,

a flood of tears,

I cry profusely, I really do.

It's an intense moment.

What is perfectly clear

is the anxiety I'm experiencing.

Understand? No, don't say anything.

We'll talk later.

I want to show you something, Stay right there. Don't move.

Look, look...

These are my parents and this is me.

This is my grandmother.

My mother.

This looks like a dog, but no, it's a bitch!

This is the house where we spent our summers. Look,

I'm a normal boy, almost commonplace.

Who put that in here?

I didn't do this.

I'm incapable of such a thing.

I'm a normal person.

Well, normal,..

What I mean is, I'm not mad.

I know I need help.

What do you think?

All right,

I admit it's not a comfortable situation.

We should be in an office,

I'm on the couch and you're taking notes

on my childhood,

but I'm impulsive.

I thought if we were going to spend time alone here,

you could submit me to a more intensive therapy.

I have to confess something.

I'd rather you hadn't seen that photo, just like that.

I can explain.

I don't usually flay my victims,

It was Christmas and I was feeling...

very sensitive.

She insulted me all night.

I can't stand that, so I gagged you.

It makes me nervous.

It upsets me.

You understand?

You're not going to insult me.

Right?

Does the gag bother you?

You're lucky.

It's not often a professional

has the chance to study a phenomenon

as it happens.

Do what you like, anything,

but please don't hurt me.

Do you know how to play "word chains"?

Please...

It's easy.

I say a word and you say another

beginning with the sound of the last syllable.

Then I make up one from the last syllable of yours

and so on until one fails. No repetitions.

It's an interesting game.

It sets up some revealing subconscious connections.

I'll ask you nicely:

Who wants to play word chains with me?

Nobody wants to play word chains with me?

- Who wants to play word chains? - I do.

You're not very enthusiastic!

Commence.

Time!

The first word was "commence", you fool.

Mercy.

Ah, mercy, mercy,

"Commence" has an 'n'.

If I say "commence", you can't say "mercy".

You should say

"mencey" but "mencey" doesn't exist.

Concentrate!

Let's try again.

But this time we'll play for something more exciting,

What can we play for?

I know.

If you win, I let you go.

That's all right, isn't it?

If you lose, I pluck out an eye.

It's simple,

You insert a spoon,

push it in, and use it as a lever.

No, don't be afraid.

It won't kill you,

I'll stop the bleeding.

Cholera.

Ramon.

Monogamy