Below Deck

PREVIOUSLY ON BELOW DECK...

- I FIND PEOPLE ATTRACTIVE THAT ARE OUTGOING AND ATHLETIC.

- DID I HIT IT? - YOU HIT IT.

YES.

- I'M LIVING IN A CABIN WITH ANOTHER GIRL.

- THEN YOU SHOULD BE HER.

- THERE IS SOME TENSION BETWEEN US.

- AND, LIKE, I FEEL LIKE THAT BOTHERS YOU.

- I FEEL LIKE I'M STUCK IN THE MIDDLE BETWEEN YOU TWO,

AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT.

- KNOWING THAT SAM ISN'T RELIABLE,

I NEED KAT RIGHT NOW.

KAT, CHECK THE DOOR ONE MORE TIME.

KAT, COME WITH ME.

THERE IS SOMETHING ON THAT MIRROR.

- SHE'S HAVING ME DO EVERYTHING, AND I'M TIRED.

- MORNING, EDDIE. - MORNING, DAVE.

HELLO.

- THIS MORNING, I GOT AN EMAIL

FROM THESE GUYS THAT ARE COMING.

OH, JESUS.

- "HELLO HONOR CREW, WE ARE FIVE SINGLE GUYS

WHO ARE LOOKING TO LIVE IT UP IN A BIG WAY."

- - "WE WANT TO PLAY HARD

DURING THE DAY AND PLAY EVEN HARDER AT NIGHT."

- HELL, YEAH. FIVE HOT, SINGLE GUYS?

ALL ABOARD.

- "WE DEFINITELY WANT TO HIT SOME NIGHTCLUBS

"AND THEN HAVE THE PARTY ROLL BACK ONTO THE BOAT.

I HOPE YOU'RE READY FOR US. L."

- WHO'S L? - LAURENCE.

LAURENCE.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DAVE!

- OH, . HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DAVE.

- - HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BUDDY.

- THANKS, GUYS. - HOW MANY?

26 YEARS YOUNG.

- IT'S MY 26TH BIRTHDAY, AND I'M ALONE ON A BOAT.

THERE'S A HUNDRED OTHER PLACES

I COULD IMAGINE THAT I'D LOVE TO BE.

- YOU TALK TO YOUR MAN ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?

ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?

- YEAH, WE MET A COUPLE WEEKS PRIOR TO MY BIRTHDAY,

AND WE STARTED DATING ON MY BIRTHDAY.

RANDOM.

- TREVOR AND I STARTED DATING TWO YEARS AGO TODAY.

WE MET AT A CLUB,

AND IT WAS "LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT" TYPE OF THING,

AND IT'S BEEN FIREWORKS EVER SINCE.

- SO HE LIVES IN L.A. WITH YOU? - YEAH.

- WHAT DOES HE DO FOR WORK? - UM, INDEPENDENT STUFF.

HE'S IN ENTERTAINMENT. - RIGHT ON.

- WHAT'S GOING ON WITH THE CHARTER GUESTS?

HOW YOU DOING, ADRIENNE?

- WELL, I JUST PUT TOGETHER-- HERE, READ THE FIRST LINE.

- THIS GUY, LAURENCE, HE'S VEGAN, ORGANIC.

HE LIKES ORGANIC DARK BEER. -

- GOOD LUCK FINDING THAT HERE IN THE ISLANDS, BY THE WAY.

- - AND "LIKE HIS COFFEE

LIKE HIS WOMEN, DARK." - DARK.

- SO HE'S A VEGAN, WOMANIZING, CHAUVINISTIC PRICK.

- SOUNDS LIKE MY BEST FRIEND.

- LAURENCE, MIKE, KEVIN, JOHN, AND MITCH.

- WHO DISLIKES CHEESE, BUT BUTTER IS OKAY?

- WHO DISLIKES MOST SEAFOOD?

- WHAT THE HELL'S A GREYHOUND? - A DOG.

- HE LIKES GREYHOUNDS. THAT'S ON HIS PREFERENCE SHEET.

- ARE WE SUPPOSED TO GET HIM A DOG?

- THAT WOULD BE SO FUNNY. - WE SHOW UP WITH A--

- KEVIN, WE GOT YOU SOMETHING HERE.

A PUPPY.

- CREW, WE HAVE ONE HOUR UNTIL THE GUESTS ARRIVE.

- FOUND 'EM. - THESE ARE THE ONES I GO WITH.

MM-HMM.

- I'VE GOT GOLD ONES LIKE THAT, BUT--

WHENEVER I HAVE A CHANCE TO JUST GET SOME DOWNTIME

WITH CJ, I'LL TAKE IT.

IT'S JUST REALLY NICE AND SORT OF COMFORTING

TO HAVE HIM THERE, AND I FEEL LIKE

I'D BE REALLY UNHAPPY IF I DIDN'T HAVE CJ ON THE BOAT.

- READY TO CHARM THESE GUYS' PANTS OFF?

- I THINK, IN THE LAST FEW DAYS,

MY FEELINGS FOR SAM ARE SORT OF MATURING A LITTLE BIT,

SO INTERESTED TO SEE WHERE THIS GOES.

LET'S DO THIS.

- COME ON, LADIES, WE GOT WORK TO DO.

WHERE'S YOUR OTHER HALF?

- ABOUT TO GREET THE GUESTS.

- HOW WE DOING, GUYS? - GOOD, HOW YOU DOING? I'M MIKE.

MIKE, CAPTAIN LEE.

- CAPTAIN LEE, VERY NICE TO MEET YOU.

- HI, CAPTAIN, I'M LAURENCE.

- HOW YOU DOING? I'M MIKE.

- EDDIE. NICE TO MEET YOU.

- BUNCH OF GUYS COMING ON.

PRETTY MUCH, I'VE GATHERED

THAT WHAT THEY WANT TO ACHIEVE IS TO SCORE.

- HOW ARE YOU? - GOOD. I'M MIKE.

ADRIENNE.

- ADRIENNE, VERY NICE TO MEET YOU.

THESE GUYS WALK ON BOARD,

AND IT'S LIKE, "HI, I'M SO-AND-SO."

I'M LIKE, "HI, YOU'RE GAY,"

AND THEN IT'S LIKE, "HI, SO-AND-SO."

"HI, THAT'S A FAKE TAN."

"HI, I'M SO-AND-SO,"

"YOU'RE A LOT SHORTER THAN I THOUGHT."

I WAS LOOKING FOR, LIKE, SOME REALLY, LIKE,

PHYSICALLY HOT GUYS, AND ALL I'M GETTIN' IS A SCAM.

THIS IS OUR SKY LOUNGE.

THIS IS WHERE A LOT OF PEOPLE SPEND A LOT OF TIME.

- CAN YOU IMAGINE IF WE GET NO WOMEN,

AND THERE'S JUST FIVE GUYS WITH ALL THIS?

- IT WOULD BE A TRAVESTY.

- WE TRIED TO MEET GIRLS LAST NIGHT,

WE GOT--JUST-- WE GOT NOTHING.

WE TRIED TO RECRUIT, YOU KNOW, TO PREPARE FOR TONIGHT.

- WELL, NOW, YOU'RE ON THIS THING.

IT'S A LITTLE BIT DIFFERENT... - NO, NO, IT WASN'T OUR FAULT.

THERE WAS JUST NOTHING TO PICK FROM.

THERE WAS NOTHING THERE.

- HOPEFULLY, WE'LL HAVE BETTER LUCK IN ST. BARTS.

- YEAH, HOPEFULLY. -

CAN YOU IMAGINE?

- COULD YOU IMAGINE HOW MUCH MORE FUN THIS WOULD BE

IF WE HAD A WHOLE GRIP OF HOT GIRLS

AND SOME RAP MUSIC GOING LIKE A VIDEO?

- IS A "GRIP" THE PROPER TERM FOR A GROUP OF GIRLS?

- A GRIP IS, LIKE, I THINK, A LOT.

- OKAY. - I THINK WE SHOULD GET

A GRIP OF FOOD AND THEN A GRIP OF SUN

AND THEN A GRIP OF WOMEN.

- IT'S FIVE GUYS. THEY LIKE TO PARTY.

THEY WANT TO PARTY HARD.

- MAYBE THEY WANT TO GO OUT TO, LIKE, THE STRIP CLUBS.

- WE'VE REALLY GOT TO WATCH OUR GIRLS 'CAUSE--

YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? - YEAH.

- IF THEY DON'T GET ANY LUCK,

THEY MIGHT THINK THEY CAN PULL SOMETHING,

BUT REMEMBER, IT'S OUR RESPONSIBILITY

TO MAKE SURE THEY'RE SAFE.

- I'LL STRAIGHT SHANK A BITCH, BRO.

- WE HAVE SOME GOOD APPETIZERS AND STUFF COMING UP FOR YOU.

SHE'S GETTING YOU A-AN-A--

I WAS LOOKING AT YOUR CIGAR.

- IS THAT RUDE OF ME TO SAY THAT?

- I MIGHT BE, BUT, YES, THAT'S RUDE.

CAN I BORROW SOME OF YOUR FAKE TANNER FOR MY FAKE TITS?

- JOHN CROP IN THE HOUSE.

DAMN, THE ADONIS.

- JOHN'S MY FAVORITE PHYSICALLY.

HE'S SUCH A MASCULINE, LIKE, MAN'S MAN.

FRICKIN' BURLY, LIKE, HUNKY DUDE.

I'M SINGLE. LIKE, I WANT TO FIND SOMEBODY

ON OR OFF THE BOAT OR ANYWHERE,

BUT I'M NOT GONNA ACT ON THAT PROBABLY.

YOU KNOW, WE'VE GOT A SWIM PLATFORM

WE CAN PUT DOWN FOR YOU, BUT IT'S GONNA--

- SHOOT FIRST, ASK QUESTIONS LATER.

OKAY, BEFORE YOU JUMP--

- ATTENTION, ALL CREW, WE HAVE...

THAT'S AWESOME.

- A GUEST THAT JUST JUMPED OFF THE SIDE BRIDGE.

- DON'T PUSH ME. DID HE JUST JUMP?

- HASN'T EVEN BEEN AN HOUR,

AND ALREADY THEIR AIRBORNE.

WHOO-HOO!

- SWIM PLATFORM IS SECURE.

- ALL RIGHT, LOOKS LIKE

IT'S OUR TURN TO GET THROUGH THE BRIDGE HERE.

- IT'S NOT AS EASY GOING IN BECAUSE YOU CAN'T GET LINED UP,

YEAH.

- SO I HAVE TO STICK MY NOSE UP THERE,

KICK THE STERN AROUND,

GET MY MARK, AND THEN GO THROUGH.

- LEE'S ALWAYS NERVOUS WHEN HE DRIVES THE BOAT

THROUGH THE BRIDGE.

THE BOAT'S GOT 7 FEET ON EACH SIDE

COMING INTO THE BRIDGE.

YOU KNOW, YOU HAVE A MULTIMILLION-DOLLAR MACHINE,

AND YOU HAVE A CONCRETE DOCK AND BRIDGE ON THE OTHER SIDE.

IF SOMETHING GOES WRONG,

IF YOU LOSE A MOTOR, IF YOU LOSE A RUDDER,

YOU CAN GET SIDEWAYS, YOU'LL COST

HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS WORTH OF DAMAGE.

- I STILL DON'T KNOW HOW HE'S GOING THROUGH HERE.

I REALLY DON'T.

- YOU DON'T THINK HE'S GONNA MAKE IT?

- NO. -

- YOU WOULDN'T TAKE IT THROUGH?

- I AM TERRIFIED FOR HIM.

THAT'S TIGHT.

- OH, MY GOD, LOOK HOW NARROW THAT IS.

- THAT'S, LIKE-- HOW DO THEY GET THROUGH THAT?

- THERE ARE TWO BOATS SNEAKING IN.

- GOD DAMN IT! - WHAT'S GOING ON?

BACKING OUT.

- IDIOT. CHARTER--

SON OF A BITCH!

ANYBODY GET THE NAME OF THAT MORON IN THE SEA RAY?