Joe vs Carole

* *

* The city is a jungle *

* You better take care *

* Never walk alone after midnight *

* If you don't believe it, you better beware of me *

* I am behind you *

* I always find you *

* I am the tiger *

* People who fear me, never go near me *

* I am the tiger *

* The city is a nightmare, a horrible dream *

* Some of us will dream it forever *

* Look around the corner *

* And try not to scream, it's me... *

Hello.

Carole Baskin?

- * I am the tiger, tiger, tiger *

I'm Carole Baskin.

Well, we've never had a visit from Fish and Wildlife before,

'cause our sanctuary has a perfect record.

- I'm sure whatever it is, we'll be able to sort it out.

Uh, can I offer you something?

I'll take a coffee.

What, I can't ask for a coffee?

- It's not about your sanctuary.

Oh, okay.

- Phew. - We have reason to believe

a hitman has been hired to murder you.

Wh--what?

- Does the name Joseph Maldonado-Passage

mean anything to you?

Oh, my God.

- Jesus Christ. - Mm-hmm.

Joe hired a hitman?

Yes.

Joe can afford a hitman?

* *

Mrs. Baskin, do you know why

Mr. Maldonado-Passage would engage a murder-for-hire?

- Yes. He is a psychopath who wishes me dead.

- We've been in an ongoing dispute with Joe.

Has he been charged?

- We hope to have enough evidence

to charge him soon.

And, um,

where is the hitman?

- We can't locate him at the moment.

You lost the hitman?

- Last we heard, he was leaving Oklahoma.

- Mm-hmm. And where was he going?

Here.

- Here? -

Well, I--I'm sorry.

I understand this must be very hard for you.

What?

Oh, no, sorry, I just didn't take

my medication yet today.

I'm--I'm allergic to cats.

- So I--I assume that you two are here

to guard the house, then.

- That's not really something we do

at the Fish and Wildlife Service.

Well, what's the plan?

- We recommend you take precautions.

- I don't--I don't understand. I'm sorry, I don't understand.

- So what you're saying is that someone

is currently on their way here to murder me,

and there's nothing you can do about it?

We thought you should know.

* *

We need one for the car.

- Mm-hmm. Two for the bedroom.

- Mm-hmm. Like his and hers.

- What kind of firearms are you looking for?

I don't know.

I don't know anything about guns.

- We need something that will stop

a hitman in his tracks.

Okay.

Well, it doesn't get any more reliable than a Glock.

- Reliable's good. - Okay.

- How's that feel? - I don't--

- I also have a .357 Magnum that I think you might like.

Christ.

Go ahead.

You all right?

- Yeah, I'm good.

- No one's gonna hurt us, Carole.

- He ordered my murder, Howard.

Like it was a pizza from Little Caesars.

* *

How did it come to this?

* *

* *

- * Brakes on a bus, brakes on a car *

* Breaks to make you a superstar *

* Breaks to win and breaks to lose *

* These here breaks will rock your shoes *

* And these are the breaks *

* Break it up, break it up, break it up *

* *

* If your woman steps out with another man *

- * That's the breaks, that's the breaks *

- * And she runs off with him to Japan *

- * That's the breaks, that's the breaks *

- * And the IRS says they wanna chat *

0- * That's the breaks, that's the breaks *

- * And you can't explain why you claimed your cat *

- Morning, Carole. - Thank you, Dan.

Hello.

- Status reports. - Oh, you.

I need to see you in my office.

Did I do something wrong?

And get Valerie.

Oh, gross. Look at my phone.

For crap's sake.

- Uh, one of the cats peed on your phone.

- Unless you want to confess. - Oh, my aim's not that good.

On your feet.

Um, do you know why I don't pay you

or any of the other volunteers here?

- Uh, well, it's a nonprofit, so--

No.

It's that I don't want mercenaries

at Big Cat Rescue.

I want patriots. You understand?

Absolutely.

My parents don't get why I'm almost 30

and I'm working for free, but I am 100% committed

to the cause.

I knew it.

That's why it is my honor

to present you with...

this.

- Whoo! - Oh, my God.

It's a big responsibility.

Our lynx and ocelots will be very happy

to have you taking care of them.

- - Congratulations.

You've earned it, Taylor.

It's, uh--it's Tyler.

- No, it's not. It is?

- Yeah. - Of course it is.

I get my vowels mixed up.

- Good job. - Thank you.

And, uh--

Off you go.

- Oh. Uh, thank you. - Okay.

Wear it well.

Whoops.

This is cr--

I think Mr. Mistoffelees wants us to change

- our phone carrier. -

We've been in talks with Mr. Jarrett

to rescue his tiger.

It appears to be about four years old.

- He's a private owner? - Yeah, in South Carolina.

- Thank you. - Do we know

how recent the photo is? Or if that's the actual cat?

No and no.

Do we know anything?

- Just that Jarrett's agreed to meet.

Okay.

I'll take care of that one myself.

Um, what's next?

Status of animal abuse shows.

The two most recent shows are Welch's Great Cat Adventure,

in Texas, and Corley's Exotics,

- Wisconsin. - Anything on them?

No.

What are we supposed to do, Carole?

We can't even ID the people running these shows,

so how do we stop them?

- Well, no one said it was gonna be easy.

I haven't taken a day off since I was 15.

What they're counting on is

you getting tired of fighting.

Yeah.

Tiger in the wild can't take a day off, though, right?

No.

Tiger in the wild can't...

go to the pool and read a book.

Tiger in the wild's gotta be...

Laser-focused.

This whole life is a fight.

So, I don't know,

you want to take a day off

or you want to be a tiger?

all: Tiger.

I thought so.

What's Awakening Productions?

They're new.

We got a tip they're doing a show

in Iowa this weekend.

- Uh-huh. Well, looks like we got an opportunity

to get ahead of this one, let's take it.

* *

Whoever you are, we're coming for you.

* *