The Baby-Sitters Club

It all started one Friday afternoon at the very beginning of seventh grade.

I was walking home from school with my best friend Mary Anne Spier.

I was doing most of the talking, as usual.

This is why you need to listen to me.

And Mary Anne was patiently listening, also as usual.

It was boiling in there,

like, surface of Venus hot,

and he just kept droning on and on

about the genius of Thomas Jefferson

and how all men are created equal.

This is Mr. Redmont?

Yeah. So finally I stood up and I was like,

"If he was such a genius, why didn't he say all people?"

Nice.

Except apparently, I raised my voice,

and I didn't raise my hand.

Did he give you detention?

Essay, on the importance of decorum.

What does that even mean?

Like, not talking unless you're called on,

being polite and invisible.

Meanwhile, the boys are in the bathroom sticking Kleenex down their pants

and wiping sweat on each other, but somehow I'm the disruptive one.

Do you think he'll call your mom?

I don't want anything to mess up our sleepover tomorrow night.

I've almost convinced my dad to let us Postmates pizza and ice cream.

Double dairy! Wow, what's next, the key to the liquor cabinet?

Sugar is progress.

I can't wait.

Mary Anne's mom died when she was 18 months old.

Her dad is super overprotective, but at least he cares.

My dad took off right after my little brother David Michael was born.

The first three years, he visited twice.

Then birthday cards, then nothing.

- Next door are the Kishis. -

Claudia and Mary Anne and I used to hang out all the time.

But that was before Claudia decided

she was more into boys and clothes than into us.

I miss her. We both do.

Psst! Kristy. Over here.

Hey, what are you doing in there, buddy?

You weren't here to let me in.

You weren't supposed to be home for another 20 minutes.

Why didn't you go to the Kishis? Mimi would have let you in.

I really, really had to go on the bus.

Please don't tell anyone, especially not Charlie and Sam.

They'll think I'm a baby.

Buddy, of course not.

Come on. Let's get you changed. I'll make you a quesadilla.

Nice shot, Charlie.

Yeah. It's better than yours.

Who's hungry?

Mom, you just blocked my shot.

I brought you pizza.

What's going on?

What do you mean "what's going on?"

Can you grab us some pizza, please?

You're home early.

- You brought pizza. - Yes.

Did you get fired?

Oh. No, baby, I did not get fired.

I do have a small favor to ask you all.

Is anyone gonna be around tomorrow night

- to look after David Michael? - Hot date with Watson?

Actually, I have some potential clients

in town for the weekend.

I'm going out with Olivia tomorrow night.

I'm going with Emmett and Oliver to see The Carcinogens.

- - Also, I need the car.

Thanks, guys.

Um, I was supposed to sleep over at Mary Anne's tomorrow night,

but I guess we could--

You do not have to cancel your plans.

Seeing as the boys didn't even give it a second thought.

Nothing. I'm gonna make some calls.

Who was that girl we had that time, you know, the one with the face?

Hey, it's Lauren. Can't get to the phone...

No one even turns their phones on anymore!

To renew, please make a payment of $79.99"?

- Hello. Yes. -

Yes, tomorrow night.

How much an hour?

What are you gonna do, breastfeed him?

Ugh.

Do you think that maybe

Mary Anne could sleep here tomorrow night instead?

I don't think her dad would let her

if he knew you weren't home till late.

Oh, yeah, of course.

Sorry, Mom.

Why is this so hard?

I mean, when I was a kid,

my mother would just call some girl in the neighborhood

on a landline,

and she would answer

because it was part of the social contract.

And that was it. The moment...

...when I started choking on my pizza.

But as I was choking on my pizza with my life flashing before my eyes

and my mother trying to remember the infant CPR she learned 17 years ago,

I suddenly had it: the best idea of my entire life.

A babysitting business?

Not just a business, a club.

Do you really think people will trust us to take care of their kids?

We both sit for David Michael all the time.

That's true.

Kids deserve fun sitters who care about them,

who actually want to be there.

Yeah.

Plus, you wouldn't believe what some of these adult sitters charge.

We could ask for half, and we'd be rich.

Mary Anne was in, obviously,

but two don't make a club.

We were going to need another member.

Claudia was the coolest girl we knew,

and the club was the coolest thing we'd ever done.

Claudia, cool idea for babysitting thing.

Lots of fun and dollar sign, dollar sign, dollar sign.

Okay if MA and I come by after school to talk?

...the judicial, represented by the Supreme Court,

the executive, that's the president,

and the legislative. That is the House of Congress.

Miss Thomas.

Are you passing notes in my class?

- No. - Miss Kishi.

Kindly hand me the note Miss Thomas just passed you.

Do you mean, like, a text?

My phone's in my locker.

I'm still waiting for your decorum essay, Miss Thomas.

Miss Kishi, stop defacing your shoes and pay attention.

We wouldn't want another failed quiz on your average, would we?

Funny story about the Senate...

School trip there...

Claudia.

Shh! I have to pay attention.

Oh, she's awesome.

- Mimi. Claudia's grandmother. - HEY.

She's very calm and spends most of her time in the kitchen

making tea and being reassuring.

- How are you? - Good.

The other girls are upstairs.

I'll make tea.

Thank you.

"Girls"? Plural?

I don't know.,

- Oh. Hi, Janine. - Hi, Janine.

I think he likes you.

Really? You think so? Yes.

- I don't know.

Hey.

- Hey. - Hey, guys.

Kristy, Mary Anne,

this is my friend Stacey McGill.

Hi.

Stacey just moved to Stoneybrook from New York.

Where in New York?

Oh, the city.

You mean, like, Manhattan?

Yeah. The Upper West Side.

Oh.

So this babysitting thing sounds pretty chill.

You told her?

Sorry, was it a secret?

Not technically.

Twizzlers!

I'm good.

Fine. It's a babysitting club.

Excuse me, I thought you said we were gonna make money.

Let me finish.

So the other night, my mother needed a sitter for David Michael,

and she had to make, like, a million phone calls

and pay 80 bucks to join this weird website.

Which will then sell her personal information to, like, the Russians.

Sure, and I thought, wouldn't it be a great idea

if you could, like, make one phone call

and reach a whole bunch of good sitters at the same time?

A few times a week, we'd all meet together in one place,

and people would call and offer us jobs.

My dad doesn't let me pick up the phone if I don't recognize the number.

Not your phone.

An olden times phone.

A landline! I've got one up here.

We got an extra line with that super ultra high-speed internet package

Janine needed for her stupid nerd servers.

So you'll do it?

Maybe, if it doesn't conflict with my art class.

Hey, guys.

- Watermelon gummies! -

So how many times a week will we meet?

A few.

- Three. - Monday, Wednesday, Friday.

Easy to remember.

Targeted social media ads are probably the best marketing strategy.

I can figure out the best ratio of click-throughs to investment.

I'm pretty good at math.

Whoa.

Have you ever even babysat before?

Don't all the kids in New York

just have fancy Polish nannies until they graduate from college?

I think you're confusing real life with Gossip Girl.