Citizen Weiner

Here in New York, there's a big election tomorrow.

The city will be choosing a new mayor that many...

...that many are calling "Not Bill de Blasio."

New York will also be electing a new city council,

and there's some shocking news out of that race.

Manhattan candidate Zack Weiner--

-Weiner? -"Winer."

-Weiner. - Weiner!

The whole incident was so humiliating...

I feel kind of, you know, bad for him that that's published.

What the hell am I looking at?

Weiner!

-Who is Zack Weiner? -Zack Weiner.

-Zack Weiner. -Zack Weiner.

-His name is Zack Weiner. -Weiner.

-Weiner. -Zack Weiner.

Zack Weiner!

Weiner! Weiner! Weiner!

Weiner! Weiner! Weiner!

[The Place to Be" by Ernest Ernie & The Sincerities]

Okay, so this is how we do it.

The official due dates for the next election

have not been set yet,

but petitions are typically due

sometime in mid-April.

Yep.

Then at that point,

we register the committee

with the Campaign Finance Board.

- -So...

-You-- Ooh. -

Does-- does he do that a lot?

-Yeah. Yeah. -

-That's grotesque. -I think he's chilling.

-He's all right. -A hairball?

-Yep. Yep. -

Can't even-- You can throw him out.

This is really a beautiful neighborhood.

It has unique architecture.

Everyone's one of a kind. It's my home.

I've been here every year of my life

except when I went to college, and I didn't like college,

and that's why I dropped out and came right back here.

I think it brings out the good in you, the Upper West Side.

And there's a-- a kindness.

There's an atmosphere. There's a warmth.

And it's a beautiful place,

and-- and I-- I just wanna see it get more beautiful,

and I want this-- the people to get more beautiful.

Character-wise. I'm not-- You know.

So what we have here are the documents

to sign into the Campaign Finance Board for Zack.

He's gonna sign it for the camera.

-It's a little ceremony. -Yeah.

I also have a gift here for you.

Oh, what's this?

To make it a little more official.

That's a quill. Oh, I have to put the ink in right now?

Wow, Joe. This is very stately.

I kind of wish you had done the ink ahead of time.

I think that's the most sturdy one.

-Here you go. -Take that.

Zack and I met on the set of Pledge,

which is a tremendously successful horror film

that he wrote and acted in, and that I acted in as well.

Every year, we pick a class president.

Uh, who would like to volunteer?

I could do it. I mean,

I was very active in high school politics.

Leading into the pandemic,

I'd been laid off from my sales job.

So Zack came over one night and was trying to cheer me up

and he was talking about how-- um, how cool local government is

and how much can actually be accomplished at a local level.

- Weiner. - Yeah.

Just make sure you tell everyone

you're not related to the other Weiner.

Oh, yeah, we've had to--

we've had to clarify that with a lot of people.

Thank you, yeah. No relation whatsoever.

Our strategy is straightforward.

You know, we're an underdog campaign,

and we don't have the money for ads

that the other campaigns do.

So instead, what we're doing is we're saying

we have these ideas,

and instead of trying to explain or argue for these ideas,

we're gonna prove them by doing it in real life

and making it happen.

And, you know, this is one of the most engaged neighborhoods

when it comes to politics in all of New York City,

so we're very optimistic that they're gonna pay attention,

they're gonna notice, and they're gonna buy in

and come over to my side.

-Yeah. All right. -An awful high five.

-Let's do another. -Let's do it again.

Did you get that? Maybe pull and turn it.

-Got it. - Circle turn it.

-It's lit. - Okay.

Thank you.

I can't believe that Daniel is filming.

It makes me never be able to relax.

Yeah, yeah, he lives with his mom.

You know, some people would say that she lives with him.

Depends on how you look at it.

A normal person's is like this.

And this is mine.

-And this is Zachary's. -Ah, don't do that.

Sorry, sorry. Sorry!

You know, people have talked about me living at

my mother's house and if that's a deterrent,

and I used to be insecure about that.

Sometimes I'd bring dates home, I'd ask my mother

to pretend to be the Russian housekeeper.

I don't want the box in there.

But I've grown to understand that many cultures,

that the kids will live--

Into their 30s and 40s, they'll live at home.

And I don't think that's any reason to disqualify me,

and I think people are coming around to that.

I shaved. You're not looking close enough.

You did. Oh, you look so great.

Except for the mustache.

-Where do you want me to sit? - Right there.

-I can't be in the light. - It's fine, just sit.

I'm not gonna be in the light.

All right, how much longer is this gonna be?

-I'd like a pillow. - It's weird for you

-to be holding a pillow. -I know, but I feel more secure.

Cherie Vogelstein. Um, I'm his mom.

I don't-- You know what, Daniel?

I really-- there's no reason in the world

that I should be on this.

His name is Zachary.

Um, Eric calls him Zack.

I think that says a lot.

Anyway, um, you can scratch that.

- - His dad.

His dad who bought this apartment, actually.

Oh, he's passed away.

No, God forbid, no. My dad's alive.

She says that, I don't know why.

He's very alive. He lives ten blocks away.

He-- he wrote a-- a television show.

This show.

Gullah Gullah Island, Baby-- Little Einsteins,

uh, you name it.

And then the famous one, Dora.

Dora the Explorer.

I think Dora the Explorer cast a wide shadow

over most of Zack's life.

And I think that, you know, this campaign has been the start

of Zack stepping out from the shadow of Dora.

We're up. We're on board.

What is it? Oh, it's Gotham Gazette?

Yep, Gotham Gazette.

Look what they got in print right here.

-Wow, "Zack Weiner." - It's real now, man.

Mine's alphabetically last.

Yeah, yeah.

Is that-- Do you think on the ballot, is that how it is?

I think-- You know, I'm gonna put a good word in.

Maybe we'll get it reversed.

-Reversed-- -Put a word with who?

You need an election lawyer, right,

I think, because it's easy to screw up a little minor thing.

There are risks involved in-- in not having it done right.

And if you're a lawyer, you can kind of figure it out,

but there are parts that are confusing

and things you're not gonna understand

if you haven't done it before.

Would you be able to hear it? Let me see.

I'm Dan Bright, and I'm a lawyer.

I was Maya Wiley's election lawyer

uh, in the race for mayor,

and I was, uh, Jamaal Bowman's election lawyer

when he ran for Congress and beat a 32-year incumbent.

And, uh, yeah, so you're seeing some new stuff.

- -Oh, shit.

But at a certain point,

like, when they start insulting, um, people.

My last conversation with them involved me telling

one of the lawyers at this firm to fuck herself

and then slamming the phone down.

It's a-- it's a language.

You don't even know your own case, you fucking idiot.

Just die. I laughed when I found out he died.

Go fuck yourself.

Next time I get a call from her like that,

the next thing you're gonna know

is you're gonna find her fucking dead body

in her office with her brain splattered.

'Cause I'm gonna go in there,