Veneno

-Morning, Pipo! -Morning, Paca!

-Merry Christmas. -Likewise!

It’s so cold out here! My pussy’s frozen!

Did you spare me the lottery tickets with my lucky number on them?

Number 69? The kinky one, my favorite!

Luck... Who believes in luck?

The ones who’ve succeeded sure don’t.

DEAR VALERIA, WE’LL MEET YOU AT 1.30 PM WITH HEAD OF THE EDITORIAL

Because they believe it’s all due to their hard work.

I'LL BE THERE THANK YOU!

The ones in despair don't believe in luck either.

-It's Veneno. -Oh my God! She's so fat and ugly!

They've never been any lucky so they can't believe in luck.

Therefore there isn't such a thing as luck, for anybody.

-How I look? -Great!

Miguel, you haven't even looked at me!

I did! You always look good. You're gorgeous.

Honey, it's the first time I'm getting a serious job offer!

How can I help?

What the hell is this?

Karen, who are these people?

-What the hell are you doing? -Fuck off!

Get out of my house! Now!

What are you doing? How dare you?

I'm so done with you!

Valeria, my love.

Come, look at you!

You're stunning. You always are.

And you'll do great. Do you know why?

-Why? -Because you do everything right.

-Everything? -Absolutely everything.

Who do you think you are? Talking to me like that.

What the fuck are you doing?

But at some point,

life reminds us that at the end of the day

whether we're beautiful or ugly, rich or poor,

we're not all that different.

-Are you Valeria Vegas? -Yes.

-Hey, I'm Lola. -Valeria. Well, just said my name.

-Yes. Come with me. -Sure.

Let's go.

-Was it easy for you to get here? -A little tricky.

We're after profiles of young journalists

with some innovative writing style. We loved the work you sent.

It's a new insight into the Pop culture.

-Thank you! -You're welcome.

Come on in.

-Will you excuse for a minute? -Sure. Absolutely.

-Hello. -Valeria, darling, long time no speak.

-What's up, Paca? -How can I put this?

Cristina is in hospital.

She's in a bad state. Can you make it to Madrid?

La Paz Hospital?

I'm afraid she won't survive this time.

It's like we're all tied up with the same rope.

It is possible to stray apart...

All good? Shall we begin?

...but never for too long.

How is she?

Did the nurse came to change her saline drip?

-I don't know. -Didn't you pay attention?

Let's cover her up. It's cold.

EPISODE 6 ONE OF OURS

Hi, Miguel. Call me as soon as you to hear this.

I've had to travel to Madrid. Call me, I'll explain everything.

-Hello. -Hello.

The room number of Cristina Ortiz Rodríguez, please?

-Veneno? -Like the one she shot last night.

Room 2419.

Thank you. Merry Christmas.

-It's not funny, man. -It's just a joke.

-Hello. -Oh my God! Here's Valeria!

Good God, you're gorgeous!

I didn't think you'd make it here after so long...

It's so good to see you! You're beautiful!

You look like Nuria Fergó. You know the singer?

-Wait till Cristina sees you... -Valeria.

-Valeria... -She's woken up!

-I'll call the nurse! -Valeria...

-Valeria... -Cristina.

-Your hair's longer than mine, bitch! -Seen that?

You women from the Canary Islands love long hair!

-To show it off on the beach... -You ladies are slutty!

Look, he's Karen, we're getting married.

-Hi. -And that's his mum.

We love Cristina very much.

Yes, to the moon and back.

-Good afternoon! -Here comes the doctor, babe.

-Hi, Cristina. -Hi, Doctor.

-How are you feeling? -I'm in pain.

We'll increase the dosage of painkillers.

Valeria, seen what our doll did?

Look what she did. Look at them horse teeth she got.

-She looks like a donkey! -Says the hippo!

Even half-dead, she's still funny. I love her to bits.

I'm going for a smoke. Pay for my beer.

No, you pay for it. I don't have change. Come on!

-He's unbearable today. -Who's he?

He's Karen, Cristina's new Romanian boyfriend.

-The newbie. -Is he a friend or an enemy?

He's a good guy.

You know, Cristina's worst enemy is Cristina herself.

You know that better anyone! Let's move there.

-What happened? -What happened? She's mentally ill.

Not a single call from TV or anything, so she slit her wrist.

Does that make any sense? Instead of chopping her willy off.

-Why did she do that? -I'm devastated!

Because the TV industry let her down. She's always asking for an invitation

But she has no story to tell.

She's always in Puerta del Sol taking pictures with people.

She makes a fool of herself thinking she's the attraction of the city.

-What about her family? -What family?

I'm the only one here. Nobody cares about her.

Only stupid me is here to eat it all up.

Paca, did she tell you what she did to me? She's the one who cut me off.

She didn't tell me anything. But there's no need to, I know her.

She did the same to me countless times.

And you witnessed it, but she's my friend.

Look, I came straight from Seville when you called.

I have a life, a boyfriend and lots of projects.

-Sure. -Not that sure!

I still care about her and here I am with you.

Kid!

Come here.

Sit down.

Listen, do you remember the first time you came to my place?

You were so shy, so introverted. Remember?

You said: "Cristina, let's write a book!

You have to shine back again. You're so wonderfully divine."

I didn't agree with the idea, it seemed extravagant to me.

But then, all of a sudden,

I saw our Veneno back in 1996, she had that twinkle in her eyes.

She was back!

-What can I do? -What you mean?

You have to launch that book no matter what!

She still hasn't told you the whole story.

I've already lived this, and she was unstoppable!

How come you're so late? I was freaking out! Jesus!

-I was doing my makeup, darling! -It's not my fault.

-And this puppy? -My daughter, I just adopted her.

There's some big fish here tonight. Smile and talk about Argentina.

-Here's the owner! -Welcome, my dear Veneno!

"Just saying!"

The biggest temple of sex in Europe. Look at this kink!

30 rooms, top notch equipment, look at this!

-Here's the mayor, Tita Fajardo. -José you always confuse me!

-I'm the Mayor's advisor. -Let's take a photo!

You're gorgeous!

-Welcome home, darling! -I'm from Adra!

Check this out, dildos everywhere! All so kinky!

-We'll take more pictures later. -Hey, you slags! Go!

You too, piss off!

You, I want him in my office later. You too, bring the whole package.

Cicciolina!

It's all modern here! We've got it all, bisexual sunrise,

the lesbian option, sexual disorders and even right wing transvestites!

-How many of her movies do you have? -Thousands! Look, La Veneno!

She didn't know she was gonna be here.

Hey, pretty! Are you afraid of competition?

Veneno, welcome to Las Palmas! Any upcoming TV projects?

We'll talk later, hun.

Do you think you're the new Marilyn Roe, Cuntiollina?

-Cicciolina, piacere. -Over here, you're Cuntiollina!

Lemme tell you something, hun. Whoever you are in Italy,

know that here in Spain, I'm the queen!

-Scusami, ma non ti capisco. -You don't understand?

But you can suck the standing one, eh?

-Bellisima... -Oh you are!

-A dopo. -That's right. See you later!

After the TV industry, Cristina's been touring in Spain.

But that night, she noticed something she didn't like!

Why were you talking to that slut? You're never worth the guest list!

-Stop drinking! -You stop!

Cristina this is a total success, wonderful! Absolute euphoria!

Seen that? Who did people took photos with? Me, or Cuntiollina?

-You, honey! -You of course!

-That's why it cost me 2 millions! -What? I was only paid one!

She didn't collect two million.

No, honey, it was two for the whole package.

That's what I paid your manager! Talk to him!

You have no idea how heated it got!

It turned so bad that nobody ever called her to a single event.

From now on, I'll manage your contracts.

No more commissions for anyone, I'm your agent now!

Is that so?

You're my manager now?

And how does my hair look, Mister Manager?

Witch-like.

Like the witch who's gonna eat you raw!

Listen to the sex addict! Come in!

Like two teens... Look the transvestite.

You, horny dude!

Tell her about the times when you wanted to fuck me

while she was off to Bilbao for shows.

He was a total jerk, he wanted to fuck every single one!

He used to go to the central Avenue and fuck hookers, faggots...

He'd even do a goat if he had to!

-For sure! -Were you in love with him?

How could I ever be in love with such a thing?

He was ugly as fuck. The thing is...