Pair of Kings

People of Kinkow, it is finally time to bring home our twin kings,

the kings of legend, who will lead our island into a new era of greatness.

Behold! The twin kings.

Personally, I think we look identical.

You're not the first to doubt that boomer and I are twins.

I understand why. I'm so much better-looking.

The reality is our mom was black and our dad was white.

Since that's not enough for you, behold our twin powers.

- Boomer, think of a number. - I have a number.

I will guess the number in my brother's head.

Oh, yes.

It's seven.

Nope. 133.

Dude, we always do seven.

Those girls looked smart. I had to go triple digits.

Listen up! It's a blizzard out there. You know what that means.

Dodgeball!

My face still hurts from the last time we played.

Mathletes are mean.

Since the field is covered in snow,

you get to play against the varsity football team.

Look, there is no shame in running.

Nope. But I'm not proud of the hiding and the crying.

Hey, fellas.

- Hide! - Cry!

Rondo... buddy.

What brings you by?

Anger management got out early.

So I figured I'd get your daily pounding in before lunch.

That's good, 'cause Carlos is giving us a beatdown at 2:00.

Wha... he was the one being mouthy.

You know, I might be mean...

but I'm fair.

Toodles.

Are you wearing my boxers? I told you to stop wearing my clothes.

- You're wearing my boxers. - That's because mine were dirty.

Ew!

You guys better run!

Oh, yeah, oh, yeah. Very funny, rondo. Ha-ha-ha.

- Run! - Argh!

Brady? Boomer?

Aladdin?

Sorry. He says stupid things when he's nervous.

We're not going to harm you.

We come from the great island of Kinkow, we're to bring you home...

My kings.

Man, even the drama kids are beating us up now.

Don't you think it's odd we grew up in this tiny apartment

and nobody told us we were kings of our own island?

It doesn't matter when you win the lottery as long as you win. Let's roll.

Boomer, slow down, man. We need to think this through.

Aunt Nancy and uncle bill always said mom and dad were great people,

but king and queen of a country?

Not a country, a tropical island.

This is our chance to follow in their footsteps

wearing flip-flops.

Wait a sec. What about our dream of selling peanuts at Wrigley field?

With our grades, never would've happened.

What is that smell?

Sunblock, SS de Coconut .

"When pineapple just isn't enough."

And this is the boys on their sixth birthday.

That's boomer laughing so hard that cake shot through his nose.

But I am sure they're gonna make wonderful leaders.

Watch yourself!

- You're in my way. - Get out of my way!

You're sure the island is safe for them, right?

Our doorways are much wider. And we spent the last decade restoring peace.

It's as you remembered when you were there for your sister's wedding.

All right, let's do this!

Okay.

Before we go, I want to remind you that with your parents' passing

went the knowledge of which one of you were born first.

I was. You need to watch yourself.

So you will rule the kingdom together.

That's fine. We're twins. We have the same mind.

You know it.

Don't slap me.

- We sure are gonna miss you two, right? - Wait, you guys aren't coming?

No, baby. This is your journey. Our job was preparing you for this day.

No matter what you do, they don't move.

I did not say we did a good job.

Don't you guys worry, you know? You're in good hands.

Plus, your parents loved that island.

So don't break it.

If you aren't coming, who's gonna tell us what to do? You?

You're the kings. Nobody tells you what to do.

Look!

Goosebumps!

Wait, aren't you forgetting something?

Uncle bill.

Trash day!

- You ain't the kings around here. - Really?

Ah, come on.

- Love you. - Love you.

Seriously, it's on your way out. Go.

This balloon ride's pretty cool, Mason.

You even made going to the bathroom fun again.

I still got high score. Three seagulls and a cruise ship.

Not that you haven't thought this

through, but why not take a boat or plane?

Getting to Kinkow can be tricky. We have to follow the wind currents.

The bicep brigade didn't think of following a map?

I'll be quiet.

Dude, are those cheez fingerz?

No.

We're about to land on island full of fruit, and you'd rather have chemicals?

Since when is artificial cheese food number 14 a chemical?

That's a good point.

- Cheez me. - No. No! No!

No!

Your majesties, the great island of Kinkow.

Why is one side so light and the other so dark?

There's been a power struggle for centuries,

periods of war, disaster and supernatural forces ravaged our kingdom.

I didn't see any of that in the brochure you were selling aunt Nancy.

Fortunately, we're at peace right now.

For your own safety, stay away from the dark side.

Then why are we landing there?

I've been distracted talking to you!

- Hold on! - Oh, boy.

Er, Mason, can we move a little faster

to the more sunny, less we're gonna die side of the island.

Almost at the castle. Nothing to worry about.

Except that.

What is it? I can't see.

- It's a waka waka. - A what-a what-a?

It's kinda like a mosquito.

A 60-pound mosquito.

Again, not in the brochure.

Admittedly, their attacks are quite rare.

They're only agitated by coconut sunblock and cheese.

Don't judge me.

If you don't move, there's a chance it won't hurt you.

Good to know.

- Why aren't you running? - He's too scared. Leave him!

Wow, Mason, that was incredible. You're like some tropical ninja.

You know, we took karate class once.

For all we know, the last two years have been a dream.

There was a time I was much like you two.

Smaller, uncoordinated...

Jacked-up hair.

A wise man told me once that the first step towards greatness

was believing in yourself. You know who that man was?

Santa.

No. Your father.

Wait, you knew our father?

We were very close. He taught me everything I know.

You know, I was gonna guess Santa too.

You'd think it'd be Santa -I know, right?

What's the word I'm looking for, Brady?

Um, "sweet mind-blowing awesomeness"?

That's the one.

And this is your castle.

Dude... Goosebumps are back.

No, that's just a rash from the jungle.

I have a castle!

Don't ruin this for me.

Oh!

Guessing that's the king's throne.

I'm guessing someone's gonna get stuck in that beach chair.

Oh, it's good to be king.

Always knew in my heart I was born to be a king.

I've known you my whole life,

not once have I heard you say you were born to be a king.

I said in my heart.

Do I need to shout down from my mighty throne so you can hear me?

Yo! Boomer, boomer.

Nine o'clock.

Looks like hotties roam free too. Know what I'm sayin', Mason?

That's my daughter, Mikayla.

Before you meet her, may I suggest a weapons inspection?

You're looking at 36 inches of cold, hard steel

forged from the fires of mount

don't touch my daughter.

Yeah, he's why I had to go to prom with the zebra.