Common Wealth (La comunidad)

COMMON WEALTH

I heard you. You have a job in a disco.

Doing what, the accounting?

The door?

As a bouncer? Are you nuts? You could get killed!

Tell me about it later.

Don't get angry. You just never stop calling me.

I'm sorry. Yes.

Yes, I love you a lot.

I'm nervous about the flat. I haven't sold a single one.

Yes, it started well, but after that...

Also, some clients have been waiting for me

for a half hour in this freezing weather.

It's pouring and I'm dressed up. You're lucky.

You can wear a jogging suit to work.

What? A tuxedo?

You had to rent one? Are you crazy or what?

They have to pay for that.

You think firemen buy their helmets?

We'll talk about it later. Okay, honey.

I love you a lot!

Yes, bye.

He's such a pain!

Luis? Julia, from the agency.

Excuse me, I was talking to a client

who's interested in this flat. Did I say it was amazing?

- Yes, you did. - On the phone.

Well, well, well. Here are the super-advantages.

One, near the subway. Two, downtown.

Three, there are schools for the kids,

and four, parks where they can play.

- We don't have kids. - You don't? Good.

Me neither. It leaves you free to go to the movies or to a bingo parlor.

I don't play bingo, it was just an example.

You can walk anywhere from here.

- So there's no garage? - No.

There's no... garage.

Let's see.

This is it. By the way,

I wanted to warn you

that these old flats usually have old furniture

and that funny

seventies wallpaper...

I can imagine it. Let's go.

That's what I mean, you have to use your imagination.

They usually belong

to elderly people. Sometimes they smell bad...

But not in this case. Look at that.

This is your typical

amazing flat, period. It's what we call

"ready to live in". And it's completely furnished.

It has pictures, lamps, a TV, a radio,

a sofa... I think it's a sofa bed.

No, it's a sofa sofa, and a good one.

This looks like leather.

High-quality! Not like mine, which is like a beach chair.

Every time I show someone this flat,

I want it for myself.

Though to each his own and I won't pressure you.

- The owner lives here? - The owner?

What owner? I don't think so. No, it says it's free.

You can sign for it and come live here tomorrow.

What do you think?

Can we see the other rooms?

Of course, no problem. Let's see the bedroom.

But first, the closet. Lots of room.

The bedroom, I think...

What a beautiful bed! It must be king size.

A waterbed, like in Las Vegas!

What's the price?

Not that I've ever been in Las Vegas.

But this is nice.

And if you get seasick, you can turn it off.

I imagine. There must be a button somewhere.

And the price?

Didn't they tell you?

Think about it, anyway. I'll give you my card...

Not too much...

Her, it was her...

You're like a ventriloquist's dummy!

Go ahead, laugh. What a day I've had!

I get a cab at the disco, and guess who I meet?

- Who? - Antonio Pesadas.

Pesadas who worked with me at the insurance company.

Right. He was unbearable.

Well, he still is. But now he's a taxi driver.

- He got laid off, too. - Just like you.

I didn't get fired for doing something wrong. It was downsizing.

Right. He was superfluous, too.

I don't know what he was.

But if you mean I'm "superfluous"...

Please. It was four years ago. Forget it.

But you keep reminding me.

You're saying I lost my job because I was superfluous.

Listen: maybe Pesadas was superfluous,

but I wasn't, I was essential.

What's all this?

It's a romantic dinner.

But... whose flat is this?

Nobody's. But since I'm the only one with a key...

Let's see if I get it.

This is one of the agency flats, and you're cooking in it?

Don't start acting like you were my father.

I'm not. But you do whatever you want without checking with me!

Acting like your father...

Ricardo, we'll clean up afterwards and they won't find out.

- They will and they'll fire you. - So what?

Let them. It's only a 15-day temp job.

And it's worth it. It has a Jacuzzi.

A what?

A hot tub, Ricardo.

And a sauna,

a Finnish sauna.

You sure it's Finnish?

And the best part is...

Come on.

- It moves! - It's a waterbed.

You can change the temperature.

What if you want it to stop?

There must be a button somewhere.

Wait, wait...

Stop!

Julia, you know I need to be relaxed for this.

We've waited six months for you to relax!

That long? Try to understand.

Someone could come in any time.

We're alone. You'll relax, leave it to me.

- What's that noise? - The pipes.

It's the neighbor's TV.

You can hear it perfectly. The walls are thin.

Forget about it and concentrate.

If we can hear them, they can hear us.

Stop being paranoid. Let them hear us.

They'll get off on it.

Get it off of me!

What now?

That's disgusting!

Where did they come from?

I told you we shouldn't be here.

Don't start with your Jesuit school guilt complex, Ricardo!

But we are guilty.

Okay, we're guilty.

We're fornicating like degenerate beasts,

but the cockroaches don't know that!

You're driving me crazy!

You're right, sorry.

But they really give me the creeps.

Me too, believe me.

We'll close the door,

go into the living room...

...Clean up and go home. Please, Julia.

No.

We'll stay here.

Why?

Because I say so. Our house is freezing,

and this is a special night.

Yeah, Walpurgis night.

- Julia... - You don't feel like it.

- You don't mind, do you? - No, not at all.

We're like Krishnas. Tomorrow we'll beg in the park.

That would be better. In the disco,

this 12-year-old with baggy pants

said he'd kill me because I asked for his ID.

Who would ever hire you as a bouncer?

I told the temp agency I would do anything.

Should I turn on the TV?

The neighbor's isn't enough?

What a great romantic dinner.

The vulture, nature's gravedigger,

devours the dead.

When one vulture finds a carcass,

twenty more appear to share it.

A voracious jackal joins them.

The somber party continues until nothing's left.

Hello?

God! Richard! Richard, wake up!

God, the 9:00 people!

Richard, wake up!

Just a little more...

Now you feel affectionate? Men!

We have time for a quickie.

To dress quickly.

- What's that? - The doorbell.

- Who is it? - A client, damnit!

I have to explain everything.

- Great. Always in a hurry. - Carlos Manzanares?

Julia García. I was expecting you.

First, the location. Here are the super-advantages.

One, near the subway. Two,

downtown. Three, schools for the kids, and four,

parks where they can play.

Fantastic.

High-quality leather. A sofa to last a lifetime.

- What's this? - Look.

- Stains just wipe off. - Right.

Let me show you the bedroom.

No, let me show you the kitchen.

Fully equipped, it even has a toaster.

I said you should see

the kitchen.