Pluribus

To all of our customers:

Management was obligated to open your units.

Restitution will be made. Apologies.

Uh... Hola, señor.

Me llamo--

Hola, yo soy Carol Sturka.

Uh, estoy de los... ...United States--

Leave me alone, you sons of bitches!

Fuck your mother, asshole!

Hi, Carol.

Can you hear us?

If you feel like responding,

all you have to do is pick up the handset and speak into it.

It's got a push-to-talk button on the side.

Hey, Carol!

Works just like on Adam-12 . Remember how you used to love that show?

What?

Oh, hi, Carol.

You left the hospital kind of quickly. Is, uh, everything okay?

- Yep. Yes. - Hey, Carol!

Just... Just headed home.

Would you be more comfortable in your Range Rover?

We can deliver it to you.

Also, we're happy to remove the alcohol interlock device.

No.

Hey, Carol.

What are you doing here?

You're in my house? What the hell are you doing inside my house?

Patching shrapnel holes.

Plus, there was a lot of broken glass to clean up.

Well, who gave you permission to be in my house?

You did.

Remember? When you were riding with us in the ambulance

and we were applying a pressure bandage to Zosia's back.

And we asked you if you'd like us to tidy up your house a little bit

and you sort of nodded absently.

Okay. Jesus, fine. Whatever. Is everyone out now?

Yes. And we're almost done here, Carol.

But we could leave the finishing touches for later and clear out now if you'd like.

Give you some space.

Do I know you?

Hi.

You're the fucking mayor.

Thank you for your vote.

I need a volunteer.

Not a politician.

You. Shorty.

Rest of you just take a... coffee break, or whatever floats your boat.

Come with me.

Happy to.

Have a seat, uh... What's your name?

Your name?

Uh, well...

This individual went by Lawrence J. Kless.

Or Larry to his friends, of which he had many.

Whatever. Just... have a seat.

Do you like my books?

Oh, we love your books.

What do you love about them?

Everything. Your books are an expression of you. And we love you.

Mmm. Need you to be more specific. Character arcs. Plot turns.

Oh, yes. Yes. We love the character arcs and the plot turns.

Which ones?

All of them.

No offense, Larry, but, uh, I think you're bullshitting me.

Sounds to me like you haven't even actually read my work.

Oh. But we have.

Gosh, where do we even begin?

In your first novel,

uh, we greatly admire the description of Lucasia's gown on page two.

"Gossamer threads of the finest shang silk shimmered like spun gold,

as if the sun itself were showering Lucasia's shoulders

with resplendent kisses."

That made quite a few of us tingle.

Okay.

Ha.

How would you say my work compares to... Shakespeare?

Equally. Equally wonderful.

You love my books as much as...

Macbeth ?

Or Much Ado ?

Yes. And Henry VI , parts one, two and three.

Well, I mean, what about a crowd-pleaser? Romeo and Juliet ?

Wonderful. Have you read the first quarto of 1597?

No, you haven't, but you must. We'll bring you the original.

So, Larry, you are telling me that you love the Wycaro series

as much as the most famous English language play of all time?

Carol.

When we think about a passage from one of your wonderful--

Stop using that word.

From one of your books.

We experience it through many eyes. Many hearts.

Do you remember a woman named Moira McAllister?

Uh, crazy Moira from Kansas City that sends me these dumb crocheted hats?

Right, of course. She's one of you now.

- Yes. - Mmm.

Before she found your books, Moira was deeply depressed.

In fact, she was going to...

You gave her something to live for.

You made her life better.

That's how we see your work, and you. Through Moira's eyes.

What did Helen think of my books?

Tell me.

Helen loved you very much.

Not what I asked, Larry.

Spit it out. What did Helen think of the Wycaro books?

Carol, you expressly told us that Helen is off-limits.

Yeah, but you know what? Special dispensation this one time.

What did Helen think of my Wycaro books?

Larry?

She thought they were... harmless.

Harmless?

"Cotton candy" was the phrase she used in her mind. Mostly.

Cotton candy.

Yes.

And as you know, Helen loved cotton candy.

I don't actually recall Helen ever eating cotton candy.

Oh, no. She consumed it four times in her life, and each ti...

Yeah. You weren't there. But really...

Helen thought you knew how to please your audience.

And she was so grateful for the beautiful life the two of you shared,

that Wycaro provided.

She was so proud of you.

What did Helen think of my unpublished novel?

Mmm. Bitter Chrysalis.

What did she think?

Carol. This line of inquiry isn't...

- Can we talk about something else? - I wanna know.

If you tell me, it'll make me happy.

Helen thought it was fine.

Fine as in good?

Or fine as in...

" meh "?

Yeah, "meh. "

What about the last 200 pages?

Helen stopped on page 137, paragraph three.

It's 489 pages long.

She read the last two pages. Thought it wrapped up nice.

- If she hated it so much... - She didn't hate it.

If she hated it so much, why did she tell me to publish it?

Because she talked to Val, and they agreed that it wouldn't hurt your career.

And it would make you happy.

Out.

Hi, Carol.

Here.

Thank you.

- You want this? -

Do you like your police car?

Sure.

Fun fact,

the police officer who drove that vehicle,

his son's third-grade teacher's husband's sister

was a chartered member of the Wycaro fan club.

Wow. Chills.

Uh, listen, about the, um...

It wouldn't have happened if I had had the foresight to understand that

you people are... generous enough to give me actual explosives, and I regret it.

Please don't.

Well, I'm s-sorry you got hurt.

Are you up for answering some questions?

Certainly.

Uh, about a week ago, the Undersecretary of Ag...

Well, I mean you. I know you're all one. I get the basics.

Anyway, all of you, in the form of the Undersecretary of...

You told me that you don't really understand how all this works.

This joining. So my question is, do you understand it now?

We have quite a bit more insight into it now, yes.

So... Is there a way to reverse it?

The joining?

Is there not a way to reverse it?

Zosia?

We want so much to please you, Carol, but we...

we can't answer questions like that.

Right. Except your nonanswer is my answer.

'Cause I don't think you can lie to me. I don't think it's something you can do.