Young Frankenstein

If we look at the base of a brain which has just been removed from a skull,...

..there's very little of the midbrain that we can actually see.

Yet, as demonstrated in my lecture last week,...

..if the under aspects of the temporal lobes are gently pulled apart,...

..the upper portion of the stem of the brain can be seen.

This so-called brainstem consists of the midbrain,...

..a rounded protrusion called the pons,...

..and a stalk tapering downwards called the medulla oblongata...

..which passes out of the skull through the foramen magnum...

..and becomes, of course, the spinal cord.

Are there any questions before we proceed?

I have one question, Dr Frankenstein.

That's Fronkonsteen.

I beg your pardon?

My name. It's pronounced "Fronkonsteen".

But aren't you the grandson of the famous Dr Victor Frankenstein,...

..who dug up freshly buried corpses and transformed dead components into...

Yes, yes!

Yes!

We all know what he did!

But I'd rather be remembered for my own small contributions to science...

..and not because of my accidental relationship...

..to a famous... cuckoo!

Now, if you don't mind, can we have your question?

Well, sir, I'm not sure I understand the distinction...

..between reflexive and voluntary nerve impulses.

Good. Since our lab work today is a demonstration of just that distinction,...

..why don't we proceed?

Mr Hilltop here, with whom I have never worked...

..or given any prior instructions to,...

..has graciously offered his services for today's demonstration.

Mr Hilltop, would you hop up on your feet and stand beside this table?

Nice... hopping.

Mr Hilltop,...

..would you raise... your left knee, please?

You have just witnessed a voluntary nerve impulse.

lt begins as a stimulus from the cerebral cortex,...

..passes through the brainstem and to the muscles involved.

Mr Hilltop, you may lower your knee.

Reflex movements are those which are made independently of the will,...

..but are carried out along pathways...

..which pass between the peripheral nervous system and the central nervous system.

You filthy, rotten, yellow son of a bitch!

We are not aware of these impulses.

Neither do we intend them to carry out our contraction of muscles.

Yet, as you can see, they work by themselves.

But what if we block the nerve impulse by simply applying local pressure,...

..which can be done with any ordinary metal clamp...

..just at the swelling on the posterior nerve roots...

..for, oh, say... five or six seconds?

Why, you mother-grabbing bastard!

As you can see, all communication is shut off.

ln spite of our mechanical magnificence,...

..if it were not for this continuous stream of motor impulses,...

..we would collapse...

..like a bunch of broccoli!

Ohhh!

ln conclusion, it should be noted...

- Give him an extra dollar. - Extra dollar. Yes, sir.

..that any more than common injury...

..to the nerve root is always serious.

Because once a nerve fibre is severed,...

..there is no way, in heaven or on earth,...

..to regenerate life back into it.

Are there any last questions before we leave?

Uh, Dr Frank...

- Fronkonsteen... - Yes?

Isn't it true that Darwin preserved a piece of vermicelli in a glass case...

..until, by some extraordinary means,...

..it actually began to move with a voluntary motion?

Are you speaking of the worm or the spaghetti?

Why, the worm, sir.

Yes! lt seems to me l did read something of that incident when l was a student.

But you have to remember that a worm, with very few exceptions,...

..is not a human being.

But wasn't that the basis of your grandfather's work, sir?

The reanimation of dead tissue?

My grandfather was a very sick man.

But as a Fronkonsteen, aren't you the least bit curious about it?

Doesn't bringing back to life what was once dead hold any intrigue for you?

You are talking about the nonsensical ravings of a lunatic mind.

Dead is dead!

But look at what has been done with hearts and kidneys.

Hearts and kidneys are Tinkertoys!

l'm talking about the central nervous system!

But, sir...

l am a scientist, not a philosopher!

You have more chance of reanimating this scalpel...

..than of mending a broken nervous system!

- But what about your grandfather's work? - My grandfather's work was doo-doo!

I am not interested in death!

The only thing that concerns me is the preservation of life!

Class...

..is...

..dismissed.

Dr Frankenstein...

That's... Fronkonsteen.

My name is Gerhart Falkstein.

l have travelled 5,000 miles to bring you the will of your great-grandfather.

Baron Beaufort von Frankenstein.

Oh, my sweet darling.

Oh, my dearest love. I'll count the hours that you're away.

Oh, darling, so will I.

- Not on the lips. - What?

I'm going to that part at Nanna and Nicky's later. I don't wanna smear my lipstick.

- You understand. - Of course.

All aboard!

- Oh, dear! - Well... l guess this is it.

Freddy, darling!

Oh, how can l say in a few minutes what it's taken me a lifetime to understand?

- Won't you try? - All right.

You've got it, mister.

I'm yours. All of me. What else can l say?

My sweet love...

The hair! The hair! Just been set.

Sorry... Sorry.

I hope you like old-fashioned weddings.

I prefer old-fashioned wedding nights!

Oh! You're incorrigible!

Does that mean...

- ..you love me? - You bet your boots it does.

Oh, my only love.

Taffeta, darling.

Taffeta, sweetheart.

No, the dress is taffeta.

- It wrinkles so easily. - Oh.

All aboard!

Oh, there's that horrid man again.

Well, hurry now, before l make a fool of myself.

Oh! Nails! Oh...

Sorry...

- Goodbye, darling. - Goodbye, Freddy.

Darling!

- Harry, he was at it again. - So what do you want me to do about it?

Every day!

Let him! Let him!

New York next! Everybody out for New York!

Pardon me, boy! Is this the Transylvania Station?

Ja,ja! Track 29!

Oh! Can l give you a shine?

Uh... No, thanks.

Dr Frankenstein?

Fronkonsteen.

You're putting me on.

No. It's pronounced Fronkonsteen.

Do you also say Frodorick?

No. Frederick.

Well, why isn't it Frodorick Fronkonsteen?

It isn't. It's Frederick Fronkonsteen.

I see.

You must be Igor.

No. It's pronounced I-gor.

- But they told me it was Igor. - Well, they were wrong then, weren't they?

Uh... You were sent by Herr Falkstein, weren't you?

Yes. My grandfather used to work for your grandfather.

How nice.

Of course, the rates have gone up.

Of course. l'm sure we'll get along splendidly.

Oh!

Sorry. I... Uh...

You know, l don't mean to embarrass you, but l'm a rather brilliant surgeon.

Perhaps l could help you with that hump.

What hump?

Let's go.

Allow me, master.

Oh... Thanks very much.

Walk this way.

This way.

l think you'll be more comfortable in the rear.

Oh...

- Ooh! - What was that?

Oh, that'll be Inga.

Herr Falkstein thought you might need a laboratory assistant temporarily.

Oh.

Ooh!

Hello! Would you like to have a roll in the hay?

It's fun!

Roll, roll

Roll in the hay

- Hah! - Oh...

Oh!

Sometimes l am afraid of the lightning.

lt's just an atmospheric discharge.

Nothing to be afraid of.

Werewolf!

Werewolf?!

- There! - What?

There wolf!

There castle!

Why are you talking that way?

- I thought you wanted to. - No, I don't want to!

Suit yourself. I'm easy.

Well...

There it is.

Home.

What knockers!

Oh... Thank you, Doctor.

Oh. That's all right.

There we are.

I am Frau Blucher.