Younger

Hey! Go back to bed.

You don't need to be up for me to stretch canvases.

Oh, please, some of my best art

comes from my worst hangovers.

Here, wait. Let me have this.

Shit!

Never drink absinthe from a food truck.

How about I staple

and you tell me about Josh?

Josh?

You know, super-hot tattoo guy.

Wait, his name is Josh, isn't it?

He would've corrected me

if I said the wrong name during sex, right?

Wha... Please, tell me you didn't.

Why?

He's Liza's ex.

Wait, Liza, like your roommate, Liza?

What?

Hey, good morning. What you up to?

I banged your ex-boyfriend. I'm sorry.

Okay.

She really didn't know.

Of course not.

Oh, it's fine, really.

Bang away...

like a screen door in a hurricane.

- Okay. - Yeah, okay.

I'm gonna go to work now.

Have a great day.

Oh, shit.

If no one has anything else,

I have an announcement to make.

After a successful early run,

including a pair of best sellers,

Millennial has quickly established itself

as a major player.

And while it is already in excellent hands,

we think its growth potential is going to require

another executive.

So it is my great pleasure to announce

Millennial's new associate editor...

Liza Miller.

Oh, you guys.

Did you do this?

We all agreed, you're ready.

Oh.

Congratulations, Liza,

and here are your new business cards.

- Ooh. - Thank you.

This is unbelievable.

What's unbelievable is the work you've been doing

on an assistant's salary.

I am just happy to work here

in whatever capacity you'll have me.

We are so glad to hear you say that.

There's a bit of a catch.

We're thrilled to give you a raise

and a title bump, but we can't afford that

and a new assistant for Diana.

But for today, we celebrate.

Yes. We'd like to have you join us

for our yearly wine and dine with Belinda Lacroix.

1:00 okay?

Of course.

Call the restaurant and change the reservation to four

and make sure they know about my dairy allergies.

Congratulations.

Associate editor, that's wonderful.

We should have champagne.

Why don't we work on our sidecar first?

Always he scolds me about drinking too much at lunch.

Didn't bother you when you were 15

and stealing sips of my whiskey.

15? Belinda, how long have you been at Empirical?

Many, many years.

Many prolific years.

Belinda's been writing a book a year for Empirical

since the early 1970s.

Her romance novels kept the lights on for a long time.

Before Edward L.L. Moore,

she was our biggest earner for over a decade, right?

And I outlasted that old pervert

with his tales of dragons and incest.

Where's my Netflix deal?

No one can get past the romance stigma.

Snobs.

And that kind of snobbery is just sexism in a tweed jacket.

Men decide romance is silly,

and women feel embarrassed about reading it.

What's so embarrassing about a woman being a hero

and having great sex?

You should be a feminist icon.

Feminists! Oh, goodness.

They don't want anything to do with my books either,

at least not in public.

We're working hard to change that.

That's why I had Liza join us.

We are hoping to introduce your novels

to a new generation of readers.

And I can't wait to hear all about it,

but might I have an escort to the ladies' room?

I can get down just fine,

but the... the getting up can be melodramatic.

Why don't we have our new associate editor do that?

And then you two can get to know each other better.

Of course.

Wonderful, but we...

we... we... we should go quickly.

Right. Okay.

Uh, Diana and I have some really fun ideas

about this upcoming book tour,

if you're up for it.

Of course I am.

My fans have become my friends.

Men come and go,

but those women in pink hats,

they've gotten me through a lot.

Yeah, I hear you.

I don't know where I'd be without my girlfriends.

I mean, I wouldn't have this job,

and... and I wouldn't be in New York.

Don't let all the unrequited lust fool you.

My books are about women coming together

to control their lives.

Hmm.

Men...

Are just candy.

Oh.

Belinda?

Belinda? Oh, my God! Belinda!

Oh, my God!

Shoot.

She was fine. She was joking.

And then she was just gone.

I'm so sorry, Charles.

I know what she meant to you and your family.

Did she... did she say anything before she...?

The last thing she said was,

"Men are just candy."

It's a great book title.

Zadie Smith just bummed gum from me in the ladies' room.

I just saw Danielle Steel icing Janet Evanovich.

It's like the who's who of publishing here.

I hate wearing pink. It's like Barbie's dream funeral.

But it's what Belinda wanted, so I...

That guy seems to be pulling it off pretty well.

That's Zane Anders.

Rivington brought him in to run their company.

"Esquire" did a profile on him.

He has a clothing allowance.

He's really attractive.

Yeah. He knows.

Stop ogling the competition.

Barbara Walters.

Barbara.

It's Lachlan Flynn.

- The spy novelist? - Yeah.

I tore through all of his books in high school.

Is it weird if I go introduce myself?

Diana's pretty much on Barbara Walters' lap,

so go for it.

Yeah, okay.

Mr. Flynn. Hi, Kelsey Peters with Millennial.

Hello.

I don't mean to fangirl at a funeral,

but I read your entire Grant Stone series twice.

Really?

Now, I didn't realize girls even knew

my books existed.

You might want to mention that to your publisher.

We're a huge part of the market.

Good afternoon, everyone.

Thank you all for coming,

and thank you all for showing your pink.

Belinda would be sorry she missed that.

I want to say a few words...

We should probably take our seats.

It was lovely meeting you.

The Empirical family for decades.

So we just buried a woman in a hot-pink coffin.

I need a drink.

What, dressed like this?

It looks like we bailed halfway through a breast cancer 10K.

Come on, shouldn't that scare you

into living life to the fullest?

You're 40.

41, actually.

Last week. Kind of flew under the radar.

- What? - Well, I mean,

we weren't in a good place, so...

Right.

So are we in a good place now?

Yeah.

You did what you had to do for your kid.

I would like to think that my mom would do something crazy

like that for me.

We're good.

Thank you.

Don't thank me. Come out and get some birthday ass.