The Beach

My name is Richard.

So what else do you need to know?

Stuff about my family or where I'm from?

None of that matters.

Not once you cross the ocean and cut yourself loose...

...looking for something more beautiful, something more exciting...

...and yes, I admit, something more dangerous.

So after 18 hours in the back of an airplane...

...three dumb movies, two plastic meals, six beers and absolutely no sleep...

...I finally touch down...

- Hey, you! How about you? - ..in Bangkok.

Do you want to go to the waterfall? Floating market!

1,500$. Cheap for you! Come on! Hey!

Hey! Do you need somewhere to stay?

- I'll find my own place, thanks. - What you want, man?

And this is it. Bangkok.

Good-time city.

Gateway to Southeast Asia.

Where dollars and Deutschmarks get turned into counterfeit watches and genuine scars.

Good time! Boy! Girl! Fucking! No problem!

- This is where the hungry come to feed. - You wanna drink snake blood?

Wait a minute. Did you say snake blood?

Oh, yeah!

- No, thanks. - What is wrong with snake blood?

- I just... don't like the idea. - Maybe you're scared.

- Afraid of something new. - I just don't like the idea.

Like every tourist!

You want it all be safe.

Just like America!

So never refuse an invitation.

Never resist the unfamiliar.

Never fail to be polite.

Gentlemen,...

...that was excellent.

And never outstay your welcome.

Just keep your mind open and suck in the experience.

And if it hurts,...

...it's probably worth it.

Hey.

- Good evening. - Hi.

- Can I get a room, please? - Yes.

The only downer is, everyone's got the same idea.

We all travel thousands of miles...

...just to watch TV and check into somewhere with all the comforts of home.

And you gotta ask yourself,...

We'll have this place cleaned up in a jiffy, so don't you worry!

...what is the point of that?

- Et voila! - Thank you.

Bonsoir.

Bonsoir.

Good night.

And as for traveling alone,...

...fuck it!

If that's the way it has to be, then that's the way it is.

Everybody happy?!

Everybody having a good time, eh?

Fuck you! Fuck you!

Please shut up, OK?

Bastard parasites!

Viruses!

That's fuckin' great! Cancers!

Bastard cancers!

He! Tu vas fermer ta putain de gueule?!

A big, chunky Charlie that's eatin' up the whole fuckin' world!

Hey!

Hey, you!

- You got anything to smoke? - No, I don't have anything to smoke!

That's no problem, pal, cos, er...

...I've got loads of the fuckin' stuff.

Do ya understand what I'm sayin'?

Yeah.

No, you don't.

No, you're right. I don't.

Ahh, that's better!

Thanks.

It was the beach. You understand?

The beach. It was too...

...beautiful. Too much input, too much... sensation. I try to keep it under control...

...but it just keeps spilling out and spilling out and spilling out.

You see, erm...

...she's on an island.

And the island is... is perfect.

I mean... I mean, real perfection here.

I'm not just talking about... "Oh, that's nice."

it's the real fuckin' deal, OK?

It's perfect.

See, it's like a... a lagoon.

Ya know, a tidal... lagoon.

See, it's sealed in by cliffs.

Totally fuckin' secret, totally fuckin'...

...forbidden.

And nobody can ever, ever...

...ever, ever go there. Ever.

But a few people went...

...once upon a time.

Men and women with ideals. You understand?

I'm not just talking about the usual... travelin' fuckin' wanks.

Do you believe in that place?

No.

But I guess you're gonna tell me that I should, right?

It does not fuckin' matter what I think any more.

It's up to you.

Ideals, eh?

We were just fuckin' parasites!

The big, chunky Charlie!

See, I was the one...

...that was trying to find the cure. Procurer of the cure.

I said to them "You've got to leave."

"You've got to leave this place."

But they would not listen.

No offense an' all, but...

...you're fucked in the head, right?

Here, Richard.

It's been nice knowin' you, man.

Yeah. You, too.

Be careful! Electric... Electricity!

- Ma'am! Ma'am! - Chill, man!

No worry!

Hey! Man.

There is a letter for you.

A what?

Letter on your door.

No fuckin' way!

Do you...

Hello?

You hope...

...and you dream...

...but you never believe that something's gonna happen for you.

Not like it does in the movies.

And when it actually does...

...you want it to feel different.

More visceral.

More real.

I was waiting for it to hit me.

But it just wouldn’t happen.

The name of Mr. Daffy Duck.

Never Never Land.

Gonna fuck up all the paperwork.

The police were pissed because he was traveling under a false passport.

Go ahead, sign the statement.

It's OK.

It just say he cut his wrists - already dead when you found him.

But they didn’t ask me about the map, so...

No problem.

...I didn't tell 'em.

You have a nice day.

Good luck!

Excuse me.

Look... I mean...

...this island may not actually even exist.

Even if it does, I don't know if we can get there or not.

I just wondered if you wanted to come with me.

That's all.

Hey! You wanna take a hike?

Uh... a-a trip, a journey?

With y-your girlfriend and me?

I mean, the two of you and me. Together.

- I-I'm talking about the secret isla-... - Hi.

Hi.

I just feel like everyone tries to do something different, but...

...you always wind up doing the same thing.

I realised that I had absolutely no idea of how I was gonna get there.

But Etienne...

I mean, I have to hand it to the guy. He was great.

I mean, he organized the whole thing - tickets...

...timetables, the whole damn trip.

Bangkok to Surat Thani. Surat Thani to Na Thon.

Na Thon to Chaweng.

500 miles in 24 hours...

...at less than 400 baht.

Trust me, that's a very good deal.

We were headed for the great unknown.

But to get there, we had to follow the regular tourist trail.

It's arranged. Tomorrow morning. 1800 baht.

Ah, great man! Nice work!

There is one problem. He will not take us to the island.

It's in the national park and it's forbidden to go there. But...

...we are allowed to travel to this one to stay for one night.

Yeah... No, see, that's the wrong one.

Yeah, I know that.

Right. But how do we get from there to there?

- We swim. - We swim?

Yeah. We leave our rucksacks on this island and then we swim.

- You can swim, can't you, Richard? - Of course I can swim.

- So no problem. - So h-how far is it, though?

I don't know. One or two kilometers.

- Cool. Cool... Not far at all - Stop it, Richard. It will be worth it.

An adventure. And just... the three of us.

Uh-oh.

"Can you swim?"

"I can swim! Oh, yeah! I am French and I have the beautiful girlfriend, too! Huh!"

Great

- Goddammit! - Locked out, huh?

Yeah.

- Lost your key? - Uh-huh.

- Bummer! - Yeah, bummer!

So, uh... you wanna grab a beer or somethin'?

- You're better off without her. - Sammy, how the fuck would you know?!

You've never even met her!

I'm just tryin' to help the guy through the dark times.