Cracker

They're off! All the girls a bit slowly away.

Serious Hurry breaks very fast from TM and Henari Video in the early stages,

then Kalara, good position, wide from Last Straw...

d Don't know why

d There's no sun up in the sky

d Stormy weather...

...TM helping to force the pace...

d ... since my man and I ain't together...

Serious Hurry coming to join the leader...

d It's raining all the time...

...well past halfway, justovertwo to go. Serious Hurry just grabs the lead from TM...

d Life is fair, gloom and misery everywhere...

- Last Strawbursts through... - Yes!

- Serious Hurry has it... - Come on!

Comic Whirlpool and Last Straw are the nearest challengers

It's Serious Hurry, as they race inside the final furlong...

Come on, baby!

d I'm weary all the time...

Serious Hurry wins it, Comic Whirlpool second, Last Straw third...

d I'm weary all the time...

Come on.

We're late.

OK, everyone.

Dr Fitzgerald is now ready to give us his lecture.

Spinoza.

Descartes.

Hobbes.

Locke.

Freud.

Adler.

Jung!

Meyer!

Sullivan!

Horney!

Pavlov.

End of lecture.

Moral.

What's the moral?

The bride in white sees herself as the widow in black.

She's already planning forthe day she'll bury him and she'll be centre stage again.

I rehear sed the death of my father for years. I even got a little bored.

The thing you really feel, not that crap you're supposed to feel.

When you've studied, shed light on the dark recesses of your soul,

that is the time to pick up a book.

Here's the cavalry.

Afternoon, sir.

Sorry about the delay, ladies and gentlemen. We'll be moving again as soon as possible.

Moving again as soon as possible.

One second, pal, honestly.

- All right, Jimmy. Sweeney? - Looks like it.

- Scene OfCrime not here? - On his way. Path as well.

George Wilde, the guard, he found her.

Detective Chief Inspector Bilborough. We'll need yourshoes, sir.

- Did you touch anything in here? - No.

Statements from everyone. Reason for journey. Names and addresses. Proof of identity.

A seating plan of every compartment,

who sat where, who got off, who got on, where they got off, where they got on.

Right.

Ladies and gentlemen, I'm Detective Chief Inspector Bilborough.

There has been a serious incident on this train.

Your co-operation and your patience would be appreciated. Thank you.

- How did you pay for your ticket? - Barclaycard.

Why do you need to know that?

Just routine, sir.

Was it Sweeney?

Dark brown pubic hair. She wasn't a natural red head.

Was it Sweeney?

Throat cut, pubic hair shaven. All his trademarks.

This is a classic He had her facing this wall.

Can you get one in relation to the window?

See the blood pattern? High up, then sloping down.

She's up against this wall. Blood pressure's sky high. Fighting for her life.

The blade pierces the carotid artery.

Atiny hole in a high-pressure pipe, the force is amazing.

There's the blood at its highest point.

Then the cut gets bigger.

The pressure drops, she drops.

What's left in her, six pints of blood, say, bubbles out onto the floor till the heart stops pumping.

It's an absolute bloody classic

Can you get one of me pointing to it? I'll just do this.

Er, something forthe album.

- 120. - It'll have to go through Finance.

Come on. I need it now. In readies.

Can't be done.

It wasn't quite what I was expecting.

Well, a little controversy, a little phoney passion. They lap it up.

Bastard.

Oh, shit.

I'd prefer you not to smoke.

Tough.

It's been scientifically proven that I inhale 20% of everything you smoke.

You get it for nothing, though.

- Do you mind? - I'm not getting cancer of you. Right?

- Do we know who she was? - Not yet, sir.

- Where's your mum? - Eh?

- Where's your mum? - Out.

- Where? - What?

Have you any money?

What?

I'll put my foot through that thing. Have you any money?

No.

Katie! Katie!

In here, Dad!

- Have you any money? - No.

- Suppose you're expecting a tip? - Yeah.

Lift your dahlias in the autumn.

- Have you been at this? - No.

You're lying.

I haven't touched it.

Hello.

We're going out.

Sober.

No choice.

d Summertime

d Andthe livin' is easy

d Fish are jumpin'

d Andthe cotton is high

d Yourdaddy's rich...

Will you take the mother? - Yes.

You're good at that kind of thing.

I've had plenty of practice.

Mrs Appleby?

d So, hush, little baby

d Don't you cry

d One of these mornings

d You're gonna rise up singing...

I'll have the lemon sole.

- Would you like anything else to drink? - Yeah, a double Scotch and dry.

- Fitz. - Yes, dear.

And a couple of bottles of house white. That all right with you?

- Jo? - Fine.

So, a double Scotch, house white. Would you like anything to start?

Erm, another ashtray, please.

d... but till that morning

d There's a'nothing can harm you...

Could you just check they're your daughter's?

d... with daddy and mama standin' by...

Oh, Jacqui.

Oh, Jacqui, what happened to you, love?

There. We'll get you home soon and you can go to sleep.

You can go to sleep. Oh, Jacqui...

There, there.

We're here now.

What were you doing? What were you doing?

There...

- How much do you pay her? - It's none of our business.

- L2, L2.50, L3? - What do you pay?

- We don't have a childminder. - But when you did, what did you pay?

- It was different. - A pound an hour.

A pound an hour! Talk about the pot calling the kettle black!

Yeah, well, I don't spout about exploitation. I don't spout about...

I don't spoutl

- Hey, come onl ...feminism and all that bullshit.

- It's not bullshit - Let's talk about the weather.

You're paying some poor down trodden cow L2 an hour to look after your child.

That's enough.

Your child. The thing that means most to you in the whole world. L2 an hour?

- And you've got a cleaner. - We'll talk again when you're sober.

You've got that black woman who cleans.

Ideally, she should be a Filipino.

She's black, so that's OK.

- Excuse me, sir? - Am I right?

- Yeahl - So how much do you pay her?

- The going ratel - L2.50

Three!

L3 an hour! She could make more than that in South Africal

No, she wouldn'tl

You pay her L3 an hour to clean, so you can teach Women's Studies for L20 an hour.

Do you not think that's a teeny wee bit hypocritical?

You up on the podium talking about equality, freedom and feminism

and she's at home with her arm halfway down your lavatory!

I think what we have here is a failure to communicate.

I'll pay that by cheque.

I'm sorry, sir. We only take cheques up to fifty.

If you've got problems with your technology, fair enough, happens all the time,

- but they're not my problems. - I'm sorry, sir.

I'll pay by cheque, right?

What I'll do is I'll sign the back and put my address on it.

I'm sorry, sir.

- Use this. - Thank you.

Having problems with the computer.

d... from majorto minor

d Every time

d We say...

How bad this time?

Overthe limit on both cards. Two grand overdrawn at the bank.

Nothing else?

No.

I raised five grand on the mortgage.

Told them it was for a new bathroom.

I forged your signature.

Mark! I want to talk to you.

- I'm busy. - I want to talk to you.

- Get your things packed. - What?

- Pay no notice. - We're going to your gran's.

It won't happen again. I mean it this timel

Why not a normal addiction, Fitz? Heroin or cocaine?

Do too much and you're dead.

Why pick something so bloody limitless?

Bye. Bye.